It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita

It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita

by Heather B. Armstrong


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To the dedicated millions who can’t get enough of Heather’s unique style and hilarious stories on her hugely popular blog, there’s little she doesn’t share about her daily life as a recovering Mormon, wife of a charming geek, lover of awful television, and stay-at-home mom to five-year-old Leta, newborn Marlo, and two willful dogs..

Now, Heather shares, with biting wit and unrelenting honesty, all the other minor details of pregnancy and motherhood that no one cares to mention—like anxiety, constipation, and postpartum depression. There are lonely days, sleepless nights, and endless screaming. There’s the boredom that comes with caring for someone whose primary means of communication is through her bowels. And there’s the heart-swelling joy and utterly irresistible and totally redeemable fresh baby smell that makes it all worthwhile..

It Sucked and Then I Cried is a brave cautionary tale about crossing over that invisible line to the other side (the parenting side), where everything changes, and it can get pretty unpleasant. But more importantly, it’s a celebration of a love so big it threatens to make your heart explode. .

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781439171509
Publisher: Gallery Books
Publication date: 03/23/2010
Pages: 262
Sales rank: 773,355
Product dimensions: 9.04(w) x 6.00(h) x 0.69(d)

About the Author

Heather B. Armstrong is widely acknowledged to be the most popular “mommy blogger” in the world. Her website, dooce®, has twice been listed as one of the 25 best blogs in the world by Time magazine and Forbes listed it as a top 100 website for women. In the eighteen years that Heather has been shaping the internet writing community, she’s worked to create targeted content not only for fellow parents but also for numerous global brands—including Ford, Nintendo, and Clorox—and written a New York Times bestseller, It Sucked and Then I Cried. She lives in Salt Lake City with her two lovely daughters and an insane herding dog.

Table of Contents

Prologue vii

1 Let the Anxiety Commence 1

2 How to Exploit an Unborn Baby 22

3 A Twenty-pound Basketball With Legs and Arms 33

4 Dressing Like a Concubine in Humpty Dumpty's Harem 46

5 Labor to the Tune of Janet Jackson's Nipple 63

6 You Have to Peed the Baby ... Through Your Boobs 81

7 Sympathy for the World 95

8 It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Pokes Their Eye Out With a Baby 101

9 The Dive That Turned Into a Belly Flop 122

10 Your Biological Clock Is a Dumbass 135

11 Other Mothers: Your Harshest Critics 153

12 Trusting the Wisdom of a Dog 165

13 Finally, Proof That I Was in the Room When She Was Conceived 180

14 Heather, Interrupted 190

15 Her Screamness Who Screams a Lot Every Day With the Screaming 201

16 If Your Wife Is Pregnant, You Might Want to Skip This One 210

17 My Arms Spread Completely Wide 223

18 I Never Thought I Would Become This Woman 243

Afterword 255

Acknowledgments 261

Customer Reviews

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It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita 3.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 295 reviews.
naptime-nookie More than 1 year ago
I recently discovered Heather's blog, and enjoyed reading that, so I decided to give the book a try. Her sarcasm grew tiresome after only a few chapters, and I lost interest about halfway through. Her writing style is better suited for a blog - not so much for an entire book. Not terrible, but I probably wouldn't recommend it...
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was a little all over the place; happy, then sad, then happy, then sad. A little confusing. So while the writing wasn't bad at all, the structure was off. Plus if you've been through pregnancy and childbirth yourself, her story is nothing new or unique. She's just not as interesting as she thinks she is. And I really disliked her tendency to use frequent ALL CAPS FOR COMPLETE SENTENCES.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I have been a long time reader of Dooce and I was excited to read this book as I thought it would provide more details and insight than her daily blog. Unfortunately I just paid $25 to re-read blog entries I read for free a few years ago. Very disappointing.
JoWild More than 1 year ago
I was hoping to enjoy this book as I'm a newish first-time parent myself,but I thought it was terrible.Everything was so ridiculously over-exaggerated in an attempt to be funny,that it had rather the opposite effect and was extremely annoying. Since I'm one of those people who hates leaving even a bad book half-read,I did finish it but didn't enjoy it at all.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I found this irreverent look at pregnancy and childbirth hysterical. I live in a house with three people who have mental illness and could empathize with the author; however, having been pregnant twice, I found it refreshing that someone would expres their true feelings about the experience and that it could be so funny. I would recommend this book to all women who have been pregnant or are about to be pregnant.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am a long time reader of Heather's blog and I just can't help but thinking she's losing some steam. Maybe if she had written this two years ago when her blog was hot, I would think otherwise. It's just the same stuff we've already read...I think she's an excellent writer, but there is no reason to waste your money on this book if you've read her blog more than twice...we've got it.
LuckyLuLu More than 1 year ago
This book has its funny parts, but overall I think it puts too much of a negative tone on pregnancy and having children. If she thought it sucked that much, then why did she have a second! I couldnt finish this one...
Champs More than 1 year ago
one star..want my money back
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Wow- I seriously can't believe I wasted money on this book! I used to love Heather, but I think her time may be up. I couldn't make it half way through the book. I finally just put it down and gave up. What used to be creative wit and humor is now just recycled garbage. Please save your money- there are much better ways to spend your time and hard-earned cash.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I read her blog,, quite frequently and find it very entertaining. So when the book came out, I was excited, but I think the longer form of writing doesn't suit her style completely. The sarcasm gets a little tired after a few chapters and the attention she gives her postpardum seems sort of glossed over, meaning, the emotion that is usually infused in her writing and her ability to communicate an experience in very tactile ways seems to be missing so the reader comes away with only a surface review of what she went through. It's a fun, fast read, but not as deep as I expected.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Like many of the other reviewers, I was really excited about this book and I had hoped it would give more of an insight than her blog... however, it ended up being just her old blog entries. Seriously, just read her archives and save the money. The content was good, it's exactly what you would expect from her, but it was nothing new.
SamanthaMI More than 1 year ago
I kept thinking this book was going to get interesting, but it never did. I was not familiar with Heather Armstrong or her blog because I find personal diary type blogs to be hideously boring and don't read them. This book is kind of like one of those blogs, only in book form.
sushifan on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I had been reading Dooce's blog for awhile and usually found it pretty entertaining, so I thought I'd for sure like this book. Turns out though, not so much. It just seemed so whiny to me that I actually found it unpleasant to read. Can't say I would recommend this one.
kdcantrell on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Have you ever read a book that you were sad to see it end? That is the only way I can describe Heather Armstrong's latest book titled It Sucked and Then I Cried.Heather Armstrong, one of the world's most famous bloggers with her site, doesn't hesitate to tell it like it is...about parenting and being a person who suffers chronic depression.And when postpartum depression becomes the icing to the chronic depression cake, things can get totally whacked out and very hilarious to outsiders looking in.One of my most favorite parts was in the beginning as Heather openly admits to suffering from chronic depression and seeks out help in the form of medication and therapy. However, once she and her husband Jon decide to have a baby, she stops taking the medication. From there, Jon is destined for the roller coast ride of his life with the three faces of Eve.Heather tells of how Jon had spent the day moving "7,800 pounds of boxes from a moving truck into [their] new house," yet she had learned she was ovulating and was determined to do "the procedure." Before he even has a chance to catch his breath, she aggressively seeks to accomplish her mission. Jon, however, just doesn't have the strength to indulge her; telling her "It would take an act of God." Yet, unmedicated Heather hears only, "You are ovulating, and I don't love you." Why? Because, i n her words, she is insane.It is this kind of quick, crazy-fueled humor that keeps the reader laughing throughout the entire book.I was a bit hesitant to read it after seeing the reviews at Amazon, but I'm so glad that I went with my instinct.Many reviewers felt that Heather's tales of parenting were a bit too dramatic and exaggerated. I, on the other hand, disagree. One must have suffered from chronic depression and/or postpartum depression to fully understand that things are that exaggerated and dramatic when in such a mental state. You're not making it up. You're not embellishing it. In your destined-for-the-loony-bin mind, it really happened just like that.I think Heather is a great spokesperson for depression - chronic or postpartum. Her writing style will give sufferers a feeling of understanding while at the same time letting them know that they need to seek help; not just for themselves but for their families.Is it regurgitated blog material? Somewhat. As a fan of, I was already somewhat familiar with the stories, yet somehow I related much more when reading it compiled in a book.Not a sufferer of depression in any form? If you've got a wicked sense of humor, you'll still enjoy it. But be forewarned, Heather is rude, crude and socially unacceptable in the things she says and does. If you're easily offended by foul language or crude remarks, then I do not recommend it for you.
lisalangford on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Funny take on being pregnant and having a baby. She pretty much captures the incredibly wide range of emotions (and more, as she suffers from severe depression). That makes the book sound...depressing, and it isn't at all. She is hilarious (and evidently a well-known blogger), and her perspective is great. Funny and true.
miki on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
There were parts of this book that I really enjoyed, but there were also places where I'd quickly lose interest. I'm usually someone who gets *very* sucked into books, but I found myself putting this book down every few pages. At first I thought that maybe the book would just hold together better for people who had been regular readers of her blog -- I'd never heard of it before this book -- but from the reviews here, it looks like that's not the case.That said, here are the parts of the book I really, really liked:* Pretty much all the parts where she is interacting with her husband. These bits just seemed so much more vivid and real and interesting. Truthfully, I could see myself recommending this book to other people just based on those bits alone. I think most people in a relationship where one person battles depression could get a huge kick out of this.* I know this is cheezy of me, but I love how the embossing on the cover makes it feel like real cross-stitch. :p
dickmanikowski on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I've been a fan of Armstrong's DOOCE blog for years. While I remember her announcing that this book had been published (and a second one has, too), it was in one ear and out of mind . . . until I found the volume on the New Books shelf of my local library.This book reminded me of why I find myself checking DOOCE daily (usually multiple times each day). Armstrong is consistently both entertaining and insightful. She gives me my needed fix of what it's like to be a person who copes with life even when she thinks she can't. And while I'm not a woman, a mother, married, or a recovering Mormon, I identify with her.
iamexhumed on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
To me, this was the baby memoir to end all baby memoirs. Nothing that I've read before, or since, compares to this. Especially Jenny McCarthy's baby book, which I read about 20 pages of before realizing she's not nearly as funny as she thinks she is, and then I couldn't put up with her anymore. The title of this one is misleading, because it doesn't focus as much on her postpartum depression as it does on the journey as a whole, but the journey is a freaking riot. She's so snarky, and it's not often that a book makes me laugh out loud and then I'm dying to tell my husband what the heck I'm laughing at. I ate this book up and was totally bummed when it was over.
Kgina13 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I LOVE Heather Armstrong and have been reading her blog,, for years, so I truly enjoyed this book. The thing I like about Heather's writing style is that she is completely honest about heartbreaking subjects, but makes them entertaining and funny.
stephaniechase on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Alexander, with her huge following of fans from her blog, had an opportunity to tell an important story -- a mother's struggle with postpartum depression and the loneliness of being home alone with a young baby -- and she blew it. That story briefly appears for maybe a chapter, and the rest is full of Alexander YELLING IN ALL CAPS and repeating herself all the time. Skip it.
jaclynl on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
For anyone who is a regular reader of the style of this book will come as no surprise. Heather is just as funny in her memoir as she is every day on her website. The thing that hooks you about Heather's story though is not her humour it is her honesty about her thoughts and feelings. This book is no exception, it had me crying, laughing out loud, joyous and hopeful. Heather tells the store of her pregnancy and the birth of her first child and the feelings and emotions that came with it. Some might find Heather's style crass or even annoying but she writes so candidly I think that every new or expectant mother should give this a read.
lhtouchton on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Screamingly funny, heartbreakingly honest... Heather Armstrong has a remarkable way with words and a willingness to let it all hang out in the interest of both entertaining and letting us know that we are not alone. Everyone who has ever been in love, been pregnant, become a parent, suffered from depression will recognizeherself in Heather. I have seldom laughed so hard or empathized with suffering so much. A thoroughly engrossing and entertaining book.
g33kgrrl on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is Heather B. Armstrong's memoir of getting pregnant, going through pregnancy, giving birth, living with a baby, and having post-partum depression. I was expecting more of a focus on post-partum depression, but the book was good for what it was about. Armstrong is a strong writer who doesn't hold back, and that candor is invaluable when writing about topics like pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. I think this is a valuable book to have in our culture. Not to mention, it's quite funny.Readers of should probably be aware that I'd already read some of these things on the website, but there was enough added and enough different to make it worth reading again.
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