Italians in My Paper Bag

I traveled the world and I spoke to the oracles. In China I asked the ancient Terra Cotta Warriors. In Sweden I asked the Great Moose. On the Amazon River I asked the Ancient Tree. But none could answer my question. "What has happened to the Italians I had believed were in my paper bag of life?"

Trying to piece together the story of my Italian connection has been like trying to put a watermelon into a coke bottle, although I do believe that trying to fold a fitted sheet is harder.

My Italia...