Jake the Ape and Mary the Monkey: I Know Who I Am But Who Are You?

Jake the Ape and Mary the Monkey: I Know Who I Am But Who Are You?

by Johanna Mies


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Jake the Ape and Mary the Monkey: I Know Who I Am But Who Are You? by Johanna Mies

This book is about Jake the ape and Mary the monkey. The only two who has common sense and high egos. They are not trying to be heroes or famous, but hopefully trying to see where they fit in, in this unsure and confused world. But even so they will never boast about who they are because they already know. So not in trying to fool anyone they choose to remain silent and forever be Jake the Ape and Mary the Monkey.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781456729783
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Publication date: 12/16/2014
Pages: 68
Product dimensions: 5.00(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.16(d)

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Jake the Ape and Mary the Monkey

I Know Who I Am But Who Are You?

By Johanna Mies


Copyright © 2014 Johanna Mies
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4567-2978-3


Jake the Ape & Mary the Monkey

I know who I am but who are you?

In the beginning, well where should we start? Now let me think for a minute. Well we can begin where it all started from, back in the good ole garden of Eden, but really no one wants to hear about the good ole garden of Eden. I'm sure every one heard about Adam and Eve, I was told that they were the ones who ate the apple instead of the orange, well smarty pants that's what I heard anyway. So now this is for all those who have the answer, but haven't gotten anything right yet.

So lets just move along and get started with you know who, Adam and Eve. Any way I was told that this earth was a void waste, and darkness was every where their was nothing existing that had life. Ok so this is it, know it all man came along and put this big ole hot sun in space, so that they were able to see what they are doing. I hope that they didn't burn their little ole hands putting that hot sun up there, and I know very well the moon had to be pretty heavy too. So now I turn around and see this tiny ray of light that appeared before my eyes. Then I was able to see who I really was. So when I looked, here was this soft little ball of clay waiting to rise out of the water, and land on dry ground, now remember the earth was covered with water before everything was created and formed, so the water had to be placed in one place so that the dry land could appear. But wait a minute, hold on now, their was someone stirring out there, someone who took this little ball of clay and started shaping it into this cute little creature that had a body made with a head and eyes, nose, mouth, and ears. Then along came adjoining were arms, legs, feet and hands. It was very funny, silly, and odd looking, but wait a minute something else was happening to this body. Wow this stuff we call flesh was covering all of our bones. One second please while I pause, can anyone explain or tell me what are bones? What makes them grow? I mean buildings don't grow, you have to build them. Flowers don't grow until you plant them. If you find out how they grow please let me know, because I'm very curious.

Ok so now that we have that bone thing covered lets just keep going on. Wait a minute hold on, What's this? Back up, back up here comes this mushy stuff called flesh. I really meant that the bones do look a lot better with this mushy stuff on them. Well maybe not exactly it wouldn't be completed with out this other stuff called skin (Whatever that is?) Well any way I would like to know if theirs any brilliant mind, possibly some super intelligent, or maybe some scientific person out there that knows who we are? You see I'm always opening my big mouth for answers. Now ok while were speaking of our big mouth, does anyone know why we speak, and tell me where does the voice come from? Oh no, just as I thought. Please don't tell me it comes from the voice box. Dummy, until you tell me where the box came from, Oh well I guess it must have been on sale at some department store. Somebody please, please lock me up, its not safe with me running around loose on this earth. I may start confusing everyone, then guess what no body will know anything. Well we certainly cannot brag on what we don't know, if we can't see it. Lets get back to nowhere now. Tell me what are eyeballs made of? Why can't we see with our nose or maybe our ears? Wouldn't it be funny if our ears started talking instead of our mouth, and our eyeballs listened. Ok, ok so I'm crazy. What about you? You still didn't give me an answer, ole wise man.

Nobody is listening to me. Is it so hard to explain. Why feet and legs walk, and why can't they talk and see? Well guess what. I refuse to hang around any longer, so I'm going to do what every super intelligent idiot does. I'm going to jump on top of this darn mountain (Ha ha.) I bet you thought I was going to jump off the darn mountain, well not yet anyway. Now I'm out here trying to find out why I want to jump on top of this darn mountain in the first place. In the second place, I need some answers. If you could find out why for me. Don't tell me, I'll probably jump. Oh well no, no don't call me an idiot until you tell me what you are, if you know. I'm still searching for the answers which I will never get from man, because he doesn't know why he's a man, an ape, or whatever. Wow! This is wonderful I think I found the answer. I believe we all came from that cute little sperm, which we can't see with the naked eye, or without a magnifying glass. That popped out of my father, then landed in my mother, and that's how we got here (I think.) Well anyway I would like to thank the man who invented the magnifying glass. At least he knew what we looked like before we became what we see in the mirror. Some of us should really go back to the beginning, we really looked a whole lot better as a sperm. (Oh well) I'm just kidding of course.(If you believe that.) Ok, Ok back up. Where did that cute little sperm come from? (Why not ask him,) After all it was here before we got here. I definitely need some answers and explaining from some brilliant mind out there. Stupid people like me do not have the answer, and I know you can't find it in a science lab. So, through my stupidity I will ask, Why are women made differently from a man? Why can't two women and two men reproduce? Why can't an apple tree produce oranges? I guess if you try and mutate them, or remember I said maybe clone them, then you wouldn't know which one is the apple or the orange. What do you think idiot? You can't change the apple or the orange, that's what it was first. (Ha you can't change that.) We know a grape vine can't produce water melons. (I wonder why?) Hey get off my foot you're hurting my head. Well lets just skip this idiotic question for a moment, or maybe forever (which is better). You know sometimes I wonder in my own amazement of my own ignorance. Where is the answers? (oh no it's him.) You must come to the realization that man can only predict what he sees. For instance, if you can't feel, or see the wind, then how do you know where its at? We know there's a North, South, East, and West wind, but tell me where does it start from? Where is its habitation? And what is wind made of? You can't put in in a laboratory and analyze it because you can't see it. (Somebody help me here.) Somebody out there should really be thinking. Maybe you can tell me why do we think and what do we think with. How can the brain hold so much knowledge? Where does all this knowledge come from? If it came from within us, how did it get there? Tell me why does man go forward and not backward. What causes man to grow old? Why can't he just stay young? Why, tell me why, does the sun rise and set? How can such a huge ball of fire rise and set without falling out of the sky? Oh' I know space is holding it up. (Sure believe that.) Now where in heaven. Did all that space come from, anyway what makes the heat stay contained in the sun? Why can't it just shut off and rest? Does anyone have the answer? (Look out it's him!) Well I guess it means that I may have to unravel all the mysteries of the universe myself. Ok, lets try this one,(watch it now) where is the garden of Eden located? Does anyone know? Well I certainly know where its located, but I won't reveal it to you because after all telling secrets only confuses an ignorant mind. So, who has the answer? Mr., Who, What, Why, Where, and when is his name (I'm sure you heard of him). Oh well, I hope you don't expect me to explain this line. Well, not now anyway it may put you in farther darkness then you'll really be up the creek or maybe down the creek. But that's besides the point, and I'm not talking about the point I haven't gotten to or maybe I never will. Somebody out there please stand me upright. I've been standing on my head for so long. I'm still trying to find out why I'm standing on my head when that's what my feet are for. See I told you someone or something is definitely not right here, and I refuse to say it's me. Now, why should I take the blame, and let all you stupid fools get away with ignorance. After all you don't even know if you're coming or going. Ok, I've had enough of this who done it stuff. You see it's time for facts to be facts, and bull to be you know what. The fact of the matter is I didn't have anything to do with creation. I just got here like as if I was at the beginning, but sorry about that. I truly don't know if I'm really me. Oh sure the mirror never lies it must be a painted picture. How do I know if you look like you do, and Mr. know it all, who told you? Who you are'? Sure, sure go ahead and lock me up. Thanks for the favor maybe one day I'll do the same for you one day. Wow! You know I'm so glad the universe got here by the big bang, and cataclysmic nuclear, whatever millions of years ago. I wish I was there then all I would be right now is this big bang, whatever that was. (Well anyway.) This cataclysmic nuclear explosion was it on earth or in the sky? I know that some fool must have put all the pieces back together. I mean, if everything was destroyed what was left or maybe this nuclear explosion happen on one side of the earth. Thank God everything wasn't destroyed then there wouldn't be any fools left to put back the pieces. (Hello!) Someone or something had to form all these beautiful stars and planets, and put them in their proper place. Don't forget the cute little animals. The fish and birds, and lease of all man. I wonder if all the rocks, and rubble grew arms and legs then started forming and shaping all creation. (Do you really believe this?) I warned you to please lock me up, but you goofed. (Thanks anyway.) so, let's get back on the track, and I don't mean the train track. We may get derailed on the way, and forget what direction our destiny is, and which way is the right way. If you go the wrong way, then we have to start all over again. (Ha ha). So lets not be confused in what ever direction were going. Remember that we have eyes in the front of our head, and not the back. Even though some people don't know if their coming or going or going or coming. Maybe we do need eyes in the back of our head. (But that wasn't the plan from Him.) Somehow we need an enlightment of what in the heck is going on, but that's still not going to do any good with no answers. Anyway how can we find the answer. We have to look up because if we look down all were going to see is our two big feet. All of this is very frustrating for my little brain. After all tell me how in the heck my brain got in my head. I don't want to sound too stupid, but what if we didn't have a brain. Oh' well I'm just kidding of course. (Sure believe that.) Lets keep rolling along we may get a little inkling or insight of who we really are. (Help!) I have been pondering on this for a long time, and it may be for a longer time then I can imagine. Know one knows who we really are except Him. Well alright let's not get carried away with our imagination. Imagination is like a camera. It takes pictures of our thoughts and ideas which never stop. We lay them out and start creating what we conceive in our thoughts and ideas. I mean tell me where do all these thoughts and ideas come from. Someone once told me that I was a very dumb person that all thoughts and ideas come from the mind. The mind is actually also part of our brain system, they all work together helping one another. Oh well here we go again where did the mind come from. Well see what I mean you still didn't give me an answer. So why did we not just come out of an eggshell like a chicken, and please don't ask me where the darn chicken came from. All I know is that the chicken laid the egg, and I don't give a cluck, cluck. Now it won't be very long before they bring me to the funny farm, and I bet that someone there has the answer. (I hope anyway.) Oh' me, Oh' my, I guess I'll slide down this big old mountain. Yet I never heard of anyone sliding up a mountain before. Somebody has to help me. (It's Him.) You know something, I really believe that we were popcorn kernels that was lying all over the earth. Then the big ole hot sun came out, and we just started popping all over the place. It's just my imagination, you know. (I know it was Him who made those popcorn kernels.) It's really amazing how we cannot find the answer. I'm not going to let some super intelligent mind say that about two million years ago the earth just popped up, and all the planets too. I mean give me a break radio wasn't invented two million years ago. (Or was it?) A group of guys that I was talking to one day asked me if I believe in evolution. I told them of course, yes I heard all about those popcorn kernels. I believe they thought that I was dumb, OK back to reality while I'm still trying to catch up with my sanity. I would really like to see the height of the guy who made the stars, and I'm not talking about movie stars. I wonder if he can tell me how does the earth just stand out there without anything holding it up. (Good question.) I wonder if one of these evolutionist or atheist can count every grain of sand that's in the ocean, and on the face of the earth. Where did all the sand come from? Don't mention rocks until you tell me where they come from. They don't even know where light and darkness come from, and neither do you or me. (Ha ha.) I know that with all the millions of atheist, and evolutionists, one of them (remember I said one of them) through all their wisdom and knowledge can tell us how we came to be.(If that's possible.) I will believe anything you guys say, but I may have to wait forever to get an answer. Oh well let me give these guys a break, I mean if I don't know how we got here please do not tell me that you know how we got here. Wow! I'm out of breath trying to find out where I put myself. You know something, maybe I'm not really here, and I could be some place else. If you find me don't hesitate to call me. I'll leave my number and if you don't find me don't worry about it. Its really no big thing, so now let us continue to roll along before we wind up in space where ever that is. I mean after all, what is space? How did it get there? What size or shape is it? We can't measure or explain it, it's just there. (Where's that darn mountain?) Now lets see if we can get a little more light on the subject. Wait a minute, no. Please do not bring this light thing around me again. I told you before I do not know what it is made of, or where it comes from. Okay, so now you are going to tell me this light comes from energy, sure. Where did all this energy come from? I'm really going to need some of this stuff called energy to climb that darn mountain. If we do not get some answers real soon, we may wind up in the dark. Now this is really being messed up, first we were in the light now were in the dark. I need to make up my mind. Well we know one thing for sure, that if man stays in the light he can do many things and see many things. When you're in the dark you're helpless. You cannot build skyscrapers, or bridges, or plant, or sew, and you can't read or write in darkness. So lets all get out of the darkness and get back into the light, then we'll be able to see what's going on. (Hopefully) I'm not trying to be big or smart. Man is only big in his smallness and small in his bigness. When wisdom contains its self, its like a river that runs and empties into the ocean. The water never dries up because it goes up, then it comes down again. You can't comprehend its power, and man can never have this might or power. When you can make the earth your foot stool then that's big. Ok, now is everybody ready? One, two, three lets all jump off the darn mountain. You know this theory thing is starting to get on my nerves. (Whatever that is.) So who do you think came first, the idiot or the fool? (No guessing.) Well if you ask me they both came in first place. Truly there's no sense in letting either one make an asp out of themselves. Yes, yes, I know I said asp instead of ass. After all the ass is an animal. I really can't say much for man except he's the idiot and fool. (Ha ha) Oh well I'm not going on this space trip ride, some aliens may think that I'm a threat to them, and leave me hanging in space. They may even think I have the answer to how they got here. (Look out it's him!) You know something is very cloudy here.


Excerpted from Jake the Ape and Mary the Monkey by Johanna Mies. Copyright © 2014 Johanna Mies. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
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