Jurassichrist

It's time for Jesus to attempt his second coming, but linear time progression doesn't apply to extra-spatial deities, so he ends up coming "again" long before the first time - the Jurassic period. Once he arrives, expecting to see a bunch of human beings who've been waiting for him for two millennial seasons, he is surprised to find himself in a weird civilization full of thunder lizards.

Jesus goes into Predator mode, arming himself to the teeth and slaughtering them wholesale, trying to f...