Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box

Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box

by THE ARBINGER
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Overview

Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box by THE ARBINGER

Since its original publication in 2000, Leadership and Self-Deception has become a word-of-mouth phenomenon. Its sales continue to increase year after year, and the book’s popularity has gone global, with editions now available in over twenty languages.

Through a story everyone can relate to about a man facing challenges on the job and in his family, the authors expose the fascinating ways that we can blind ourselves to our true motivations and unwittingly sabotage the effectiveness of our own efforts to achieve success and increase happiness.

This new edition has been revised throughout to make the story even more compelling. And drawing on the extensive correspondence the authors have received over the years, they have added a section that outlines the many ways that readers have been using Leadership and Self-Deception to improve their lives and workplaces—areas such as team building, conflict resolution, and personal growth and development, to name a few.

Read this extraordinary book and discover what millions already have learned—how to consistently tap into an innate ability that dramatically improves both your results and your relationships.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781576759776
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Publication date: 01/05/2010
Edition description: Second Edition
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 762
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

The Arbinger Institute helps organizations, families, individuals, and communities worldwide to correct the trouble created by the little-known but pervasive problem of self-deception. Arbinger is led internationally by founding partners James Ferrell, Duane Boyce, Paul Smith, and Terry Warner. Headquartered in the United States, Arbinger now has operations around the world, including throughout the Americas, Europe, Africa, the Middle East, India, Oceania, and Asia.
The Arbinger Institute helps organizations, families, individuals, and communities worldwide to correct the trouble created by the little-known but pervasive problem of self-deception. Arbinger is led internationally by founding partners James Ferrell, Duane Boyce, Paul Smith, and Terry Warner. Headquartered in the United States, Arbinger now has operations around the world, including throughout the Americas, Europe, Africa, the Middle East, India, Oceania, and Asia.

Read an Excerpt

Bud

It was a brilliant summer morning shortly before nine, and I was hurrying to the most important meeting of my new job at Zagrum Company. As I walked across the tree-lined grounds, I recalled the day two months earlier when I had first entered the secluded campus-style headquarters to interview for a senior management position. I had been watching the company for more than a decade from my perch at one of its competitors and had tired of finishing second. After eight interviews and three weeks spent doubting myself and waiting for news, I was hired to lead one of Zagrum’s product lines.

Now, four weeks later, I was about to be introduced to a senior management ritual peculiar to Zagrum: a daylong one-on-one meeting with the executive vice president, Bud Jefferson. Bud was the right-hand man to Zagrum’s president, Kate Stenarude. And due to a shift within the executive team, he was about to become my new boss.

I had tried to find out what this meeting was all about, but my colleagues’ explanations confused me. They mentioned a discovery that solved “people problems”; how no one really focused on results; and that something about the “Bud Meeting,” as it was called, and strategies that evidently followed from it, was key to Zagrum’s incredible success. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I was eager to meet, and impress, my new boss.

Bud Jefferson was a youngish-looking 50-year-old combination of odd-fitting characteristics: a wealthy man who drove around in an economy car without hubcaps; a near–high school dropout who had graduated with law and business degrees, summa cum laude, from Harvard; a connoisseur of the arts who was hooked on the Beatles. Despite his apparent contradictions, and perhaps partly because of them, Bud was revered as something of an icon. He was universally admired in the company.

It took 10 minutes on foot to cover the distance from my office in Building 8 to the lobby of the Central Building. The pathway — one of many connecting Zagrum’s 10 buildings — meandered beneath oak and maple canopies along the banks of Kate’s Creek, a postcard-perfect stream that was the brainchild of Kate Stenarude and had been named after her by the employees.

As I scaled the Central Building’s hanging steel stairway up to the third floor, I reviewed my performance during my month at Zagrum: I was always among the earliest to arrive and latest to leave. I felt that I was focused and didn’t let outside matters interfere with my objectives. Although my wife often complained about it, I was making a point to outwork and outshine every coworker who might compete for promotions in the coming years. I nodded to myself in satisfaction. I had nothing to be ashamed of. I was ready to meet Bud Jefferson.

Arriving in the main lobby of the third floor, I was greeted by Bud’s secretary, Maria. “You must be Tom Callum,” she said with enthusiasm.

“Yes, thank you. I have an appointment with Bud for nine o’clock,” I said.

“Yes. Bud asked me to have you wait for him in the East-view Room. He should be with you in about five minutes.” Maria escorted me down the hall and into a large conference room. I went to the long bank of windows and admired the views of the campus between the leaves of the green Connecticut woods. A minute or so later, there was a brisk knock on the door, and in walked Bud.

“Hello, Tom. Thanks for coming,” he said with a big smile as he offered his hand. “Please, sit down. Can I get you something to drink? Coffee, juice?”

“No, thank you,” I replied, “I’ve had plenty already this morning.”

I settled in the black leather chair nearest me, my back to the window, and waited for Bud as he poured himself some water in the serving area in the corner. He walked back with his water, bringing the pitcher and an extra glass with him. He set them on the table between us. “Sometimes things can get pretty hot in here. We have a lot to do this morning. Please feel free whenever you’d like.”

“Thanks,” I stammered. I was grateful for the gesture but more unsure than ever what this was all about.

“Tom,” said Bud abruptly, “I’ve asked you to come today for one reason — an important reason.”

“Okay,” I said evenly, trying to mask the anxiety I was feeling.

“You have a problem — a problem you’re going to have to solve if you’re going to make it at Zagrum.”

I felt as if I’d been kicked in the stomach. I groped for some appropriate word or sound, but my mind was racing and words failed me. I was immediately conscious of the pounding of my heart and the sensation of blood draining from my face.

As successful as I had been in my career, one of my hidden weaknesses was that I was too easily knocked off balance. I had learned to compensate by training the muscles in my face and eyes to relax so that no sudden twitch would betray my alarm. And now, it was as if my face instinctively knew that it had to detach itself from my heart or I would be found out to be the same cowering third-grader who broke into an anxious sweat, hoping for a “well done” sticker, every time Mrs. Lee passed back the homework.

Finally I managed to say, “A problem? What do you mean?”

“Do you really want to know?” asked Bud.

“I’m not sure. I guess I need to, from the sound of it.”

“Yes,” Bud agreed, “you do.”

Table of Contents

Preface
Part I Self-Deception and the “Box”
1 Bud
2 A Problem
3 Self-Deception
4 The Problem beneath Other Problems
5 Beneath Effective Leadership
6 The Deep Choice That Determines Influence
7 People or Objects
8 Doubt

Part II How We Get in the Box
9 Kate
10 Questions
11 Self-Betrayal
12 Characteristics of Self-Betrayal
13 Life in the Box
14 Collusion
15 Box Focus
16 Box Problems

Part III How We Get Out of the Box
17 Lou
18 Leadership in the Box
19 Toward Being Out of the Box
20 Dead Ends
21 The Way Out
22 Leadership Out of the Box
23 Birth of a Leader
24 Another Chance
How to Use LEADERSHIP AND SELF-DECEPTION
Share Your Story
Index
Excerpt from The Anatomy of Peace
About THE ARBINGER INSTITUTE

What People are Saying About This

Stephen R. Covey

Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

I've known the work of the Arbinger Institute for years. Arbinger's ideas are profound, with deep and sweeping implications for organizations. Leadership and Self-Deception provides the perfect introduction to this material. It is engaging and fresh, easy to read, and packed with insight. I couldn't recommend it more highly.

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Leadership and Self-Deception 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 76 reviews.
abundantdoc More than 1 year ago
I have read this book several times. I just finished going through it with my master mind team and now I am taking my staff at my Chiropractic clinic through this book as well. It is a fantastic look at what makes us tick, when we are in it and how to get out of it if it isn't working for us. I love this book and will read it again and again. Dr. McFarland
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The book definitely changed my way of thinking for the better.
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English Comp 102 Kyla Hammond 12 June 2013 Leadership & Self Deception The main character is Tom Callum, a new senior manager for Zagrum Company. It took him eight interviews, three-weeks of silence and self doubt before he was actually hired. Tom is about to be introduced to the Zagrum ritual for all senior management, a day-long, one-on-one meeting with the executive vice president, Bud Jefferson. Tom, desperate to find out what the meeting will contain, tried gathering information from his colleagues, however their explanations confused him. They mentioned a discovery that solves “people problems,” how no one focuses on results, and that something about the “Bud Meeting” as it was called, led to the company’s success. In the past month, Tom was always the first to arrive and the last to leave. He was making a point to outwork and outshine every coworker who might compete for promotion in the coming years. He was ready to meet Bud Jefferson. Arriving in the main lobby of the third floor, he was greeted by Bud’s secretary, Maria. “You must be Tom Callum,” she said with enthusiasm. “Yes thank you, I have an appointment with Bud at 9:00”. He was asked to wait in the East View Room. A minute or so later, a brief knock on the door and in walks Bud. They greet and shake hands. Tom sits across anxiously awaiting for Bud to start the meeting. Bud immediately opens up with letting Tom know he has a problem, a problem he had to solve if he was to remain with Zagrum. This knocked Tom off balance. Bud informed him that he was self-deceived. Bud told Tom that he was “In the box,” (pg 3) which refers to when people see others as the source of the problem. People who are “In the Box” view themselves as center of the world and others as objects. This type of behavior demotivates colleagues and causes friction and fault-finding. Throughout the interview, Bud teaches Tom a variety of tools to be able to detect and overcome these obstacles by learning how to keep him “out of the box” Out of the box thinking requires the person to see others as people, not as obstacles or competition. They can see others and understand their feeling, hopes, and needs. This behavior motivates the people that work for Zagrum. The point Bud was trying to make is that people can always tell when they are being manipulated or outsmarted. People skills take work and they are necessary because your peers can tell if you are sincere. Your sincerity makes it possible to deliver the hard messages, and still be an “out your box” leader. Instead of focusing on what people are doing wrong, focus on how you can help them improve so you can work together toward a better solution. Of all of the problems in organizations today, self-deception is the most common and most damaging. Bud has these interviews to prevent Zagrum’s leaders’ from creating these problems and to improve teamwork and morale throughout the organization. Self-aware leaders make for a happier work environment. References Arbinger Institute (2000). Leadership & Self Deception
farmmom More than 1 year ago
This book is founded on lifelong principles presented in a fresh new way.....positive reinforcement!
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This should be required reading in high school and college. There is so much content but it is not too lofty or theoretical. Very helpful. Will be reading more than once!
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This book was very well written, I couldn't put it down and I despise reading. This book has opened my eyes to some of the faults I have as a leader in business as well as the leader of my family. I highly recommend this book to anyone. I will be reading this book yearly.
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