Life Check: 7 Steps to Balance Your Life!

Life Check: 7 Steps to Balance Your Life!

by Robin Marvel

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781615992041
Publisher: Loving Healing Press
Publication date: 09/01/2013
Pages: 100
Product dimensions: 5.00(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.24(d)

About the Author

Robin Marvel is “that” girl. She has survived mental, domestic and drug abuse, homelessness and kidnappings throughout her childhood. Becoming addicted to alcohol and partying at age 15 resulted in a sexual assault and to becoming a teen mother at age 16 (not because of the sexual assault).
Upon finding out she was having a girl, she made the choice that they would not be a statistic. She knew she would have to work hard and continue to work hard to make sure that would become her truth.

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

Rock the Boat

"Men are afraid to rock the boat in which they hope to drift safely through life's currents, when, actually, the boat is stuck on a sandbar. They would be better off to rock the boat and try to shake it loose."

~Thomas Szasz

Your life is not happening to you, it is responding to you. Your actions, the choices you make, your thoughts and the words you speak determine the quality of your of life. So then, who are you and how is your life treating you?

Figuring out who you are in truth will reveal so much about you and the path you are on. Every moment, every choice you make is directly related to how you see yourself, who you believe you are and what you think you are worth. These three factors determine everything — what you work to accomplish, whom you marry, your daily routine, how you limit and label yourself, how you treat others and all that you allow to take place in your life.

Life Check 1-1: Valuing the Self

[check] What do you think you are worth?

[check] How do you value yourself?

[check] Are you worth an amazing life, deserving to get all the things that you desire?

[check] Are you worth your dreams?

[check] Do you deserve the respect of yourself and others?

These are challenging questions that encourage you to really look at yourself, and you may not be able to answer them right now. However, by the end of this book you will see yourself, your relationships and your life with more value and you'll answer these questions with confidence and positivity.

In order to figure out who you are and how you value yourself, you must take a look at the real you. This is the person standing when you take away the job, the marital status, the family, the labels, the programmed beliefs: the true, down to the core individual. This is who speaks to you in silence and looks back at you from the mirror, giving you the chance to see yourself clearly.

If you are unable to see your worth, you will slowly lose your confidence and you'll begin to just exist. It is like a balloon that is full of air that gets a pinhole in it — it will slowly deflate until there is nothing left. The same thing happens in life if you don't value yourself. If this sounds like your situation, then I am sure glad you picked up this book so we can patch that pin hole and refill your balloon with a zest for life!

As you struggle with your self-worth, you may become stagnant, losing that inner spark and passion. Then life becomes routine, just going through the motions — get up, go to work, complain about the weather, complain about your job, what your spouse didn't do, your house, your kids, eat lunch, complain about co-workers, drive home, make dinner, put kids to bed, veg out on TV programs you idolize because the people are living with the excitement you crave but are scared to go after, go to bed and start over tomorrow.

When you are asked how your day is you are quick to respond with "so- so — you know, paying the bills." This is so common because it is always easier to stay in the comfort zone of your routine rather than walking outside that bubble and testing the waters. You always have that little bit of nagging doubt, the "what if" thoughts running around in the back of your mind. These thoughts may question if you are worth the great things in life, because you are totally focused on working so hard to make ends meet. You want to be comfortable, which can be a great thing but it becomes restricting when you lose sight of your passions and give up on yourself. Your life iPod gets stuck on playing the same two or three songs on repeat.

You no longer wake up in the morning saying, "Yes! Another amazing day to be alive!" Instead you become use to what is, settling because it is familiar and works, sowhy rock the boat. Well, I want you to stand up and rock your boat, dive back into life and regain your passion and purpose!

Life Check 1-2: Self-Critic

Pause for a moment and go look in the mirror. As you look at yourself,

[check] What thoughts pop into your head? Are they negative?

[check] Do you find yourself being a self critic? Be honest with yourself.

[check] Make the choice to stop the negative self chatter. Replace any negative words you are thinking about yourself with positive affirmations. The more you practice replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations, the sooner they will leave. You are reprogramming the beliefs you hold for yourself.

So, now that you are taking a real, deep look at your genuine self, you will discover your self-worth, not the worth others have of you but what you really feel your value is.

Pay attention to the part of you that's visible when you shed the need to fit in, the fake image you project to others and the need for approval: the authentic you. Your life is created from the inside out, so when facing yourself you are able to really uncover the truth because you cannot lie. You can always step into the world with a smile and when asked "how are you" reply with a "great" but when you have to be honest there is no way to fool yourself. The truth is revealed and you cannot ignore it no matter how many masks you may wear in the outside world. You can walk around like you are on top of the world but if in the shadows of your truth you are lacking confidence, full of fear and worry, then you cannot truly experience a life of positivity, confidence and fearlessness — your genuine truth shines through in all aspects of your life. It is the real you. This is the you that was whole at one time, the you that unconditionally loved yourself and seen how beautiful you really are; the you that got excited and felt passionate.

Life Check 1-3: Passion

[check] Do you remember that person?

[check] When was the last time your spirit was on fire?

You are shaped by the positive and negative, internal and external events that you face throughout your daily living. The emotions and reactions you experience through each of these life circumstances creates your behavior and ultimately becomes how you deal with your life. It is imperative to take a look at those defining moments, positive and negative, to find the answers to why your life is how it is. As you experience negative moments you develop self doubt, fear and do not live your truth. This takes a toll on your self-worth. As you are experiencing positive moments you are strengthening your true self, empowering who you are to live an amazing life.

Unfortunately, life is not only full of positive moments but negative ones as well. Learning how to heal from old negative experiences and how to react to new negative experiences is the key to being in control of your life.

Life Check 1-4: Wounded Eye

[check] Think of negative events you have faced.

[check] How did you react? Was your reaction healthy?

Believe it or not, there was a powerful, confident you before doubts crept in, before you developed a wounded eye from traumatic circumstances you have faced. There are many outside factors that have had an emotional impact on who you are today.

Let's take a look at some outside factors that may have affected you:

• Being bullied

• Abandonment

• Rejection of any kind

• Dealing with lihysical, mental, emotional abuse from others

• Self destruction with negative thoughts and words

• Loss

• Substance abuse of any kind

All these experiences slowly start to deplete your passion for life, creating self doubt and your get up and go energy, causing a wounded eye to form.

As you are encountering trauma, tragedy and hardship, you start to create your wounded eye, and if you aren't careful you can continue to live your life looking through it, carrying the emotion from each of these experiences into your daily living, defining yourself and your life from the negative emotion or wounded eye. Every time anything happens to you in the present, you relive the feelings of heartache that you experienced, using these old emotions as excuses for where you are in life now. It allows you to stay limited and stuck because you tell yourself that you have a good reason for being self destructive. Then society empowers you by giving you permission to stay wounded.

Life Check 1-5: Letting Go Excuses

[check] What experiences do you hold on to as an excuse for where your life is today?

[check] Are you ready to see clearly by healing your wounded eye?

How many times have you heard a story of someone who is exhibiting negative behavior like alcoholism, and then you hear yourself or others say, "That's so sad, but you know his mother died when he was fifteen so it makes sense." We as a society give permission to those who suffer trauma, creating an excuse and contributing to their wounded eye. I too have done that in the past until I realized I was encouraging self destructive behavior. It is important for you to stop making excuses for yourself and also for others. There is no reason to lose today by looking through the wounded eye of yesterday.

Have you ever seen the A&E network show Intervention? It is a great example of how common it is for people to live looking through their wounded eye. The majority of people on that show facing an intervention, no matter how old or what they are addicted to, always place blame for where they are now on something that happened 5, 10, or 15 plus years ago. Their lists include "my father never hugged me," "my parents divorced," "my dad was an alcoholic," "I was abused," "my mom abandoned us," "my sister stole my boyfriend" ... All of these are classic examples of someone living through their wounded eye. Their present life is in shambles, filled with addiction to fill the void created in the past when they experienced trauma, or had their feelings hurt or someone let them down. They are so quick to use this as an excuse to live through their wounded eye. Every experience they encounter in the present they react with the same behavior they had during the past trauma, creating a repetitive pattern. They see everything through the emotion of the past circumstance. This allows an excuse, as well as someone to blame for their present conditions.

I grew up with alcoholic, cocaine abusing parents. Their drug abuse ruled our life and left us homeless several times. I could easily choose to repeat the cycle and be an alcoholic or a drug abuser and blame it on my childhood. Society would defend me, claiming it makes sense because I had such an unstable childhood. I have made the choice to heal my wounded eye and not accept that as my truth, and I chose to break the cycle. Your rough past does not have to reflect on who you choose to be now. I am proof of that!

I am not saying that you have not faced hardships that can slow you down and change your course, what I am saying is that you have the choice to give your power away in the present to these past emotions or to release them and gain power. You can live looking through your wounded eye, or heal it. The choice is yours. You are solely responsible for how your life plays out.

Once you make the decision to clear your wounded eye, be prepared, it takes lots of work. It is not just a flip of the switch but an intense commitment to start taking personal responsibility for yourself. You need dedication to stop bringing your old wounds into your present. Look at it this way, if your past was so bad then why are you giving it so much space in your today? You are allowing these old emotions to rule your present and I know why. The reason you are losing so much of your present to the old stuff is because you need the excuse. If you are unhappy now, it is easier to blame it on something or someone else then to face it. That way it is not your fault. Well, it's time to wake up because no matter how many excuses you make, your life is yours and you are responsible for it.

You may not have been told this growing up, I know I wasn't. Growing up I learned that life happens to you, you are a victim of circumstance and you have no choice. Throughout my childhood and young adult days I always saw life as a struggle and felt there was nothing I could do to change that. This continued until I was twenty-three. I remember sitting in my living room and reading a book titled Choosing Happiness: The Art of Living Unconditionally (1991) by Veronica Ray and having a life changing experience. I learned that I was in control of my life. If I wanted to be happy then it was up to me, that for years I had been putting the burden of my happiness on my husband, the weather, my job, anything or anyone I could. Wow, that blew my mind! So I decided to put my newfound information into practice and it was game on! I made the choice to take personal responsibility for mylife.

At first it was not easy because of course it was easier for me to blame others for where I was at. The more I committed myself to making personal changes, the more my life started to change for the positive. This choice changed every aspect of who I am today. I became more confident and started to create the life I desired, because if it was up to me, there was no way I was going to continue to sit on the sidelines and not participate in living. So here I am, telling you that in order to gain success in any area, you must take personal responsibility for where you have been and where you are going.

Life Check 1-6: Responsibility

[check] Are you taking responsibility for your life?

[check] If not, who are you giving that power to?

[check] What steps can you take today to start taking personal responsibility for your life?

You are the person who should be raising a hand when the questions arise: Why is my life the way it is? Whose fault is it that I am not happy?

You are in control of your life, you hold the key to where you are and where you are heading.

Taking personal responsibility includes looking at all the choices you are making. This goes from the daily choices like brushing your hair, going to work, what's for dinner, right lane/left lane, to life-shaping, important matters.

Your basic choices keep you living from day to day and are important to your self-worth. Making the choice to get up each morning and embrace the day impacts your entire life. Taking the time to care for yourself by brushing your hair and dressing for success empowers and motivates you. No matter what you do during your day, it is important to present yourself in a way that makes you feel good. Value yourself, you are worth it.

Life Check 1-7: Choices

[check] What basic choices are you making each day that empower you?

[check] Do you start each day with a positive attitude?

[check] How can you design your daily routine to include actions that will inspire you to look and feel good?

Let's look at the main event choices in your life. You know, the ones that have defined your life up to this point and those that you are making in the present that will shape your future. These choices include all areas of your life from your career to the people you surround yourself with, to where you choose to live. It is important when you are making these main event choices that they are your truth. That is, live the life you really want, rather than living a lie to please other people. The fact is that this is your life and it is not selfish to choose your happiness and be your number one priority.

If you spend your time basing your decisions on what others want for you, you are guaranteed to complain ten years from now about what you never did while blaming someone else, creating an excuse for yourself. You'll be talking about what you could have been if only you'd followed your passions instead of following the crowd.

You have the choice right now, no matter your age, your financial situation or your past, to become anything you desire. I have watched so many people limit themselves because they believe they are too old, too young, too small town, too big town and the list goes on and on. So, no more excuses, no more self imposed limits — today you make the choices that make you feel alive. Keep in mind that your choice may change. There is nothing carved in stone saying these main life choices cannot change with your personal growth and expansion. It is foolish to chain yourself to one way in a world that is so full of opportunity. Explore. Change your mind and be okay with it. If you are spending all your time stuck in a life choice that no longer serves you, then change it. You deserve to be happy and it is up to you how you get there.

Life Check 1-8: Dreams

[check] You get excited when thinking about this dream.

[check] You are where you are right now in life because you choose ...

[check] What will you commit to right now to make your dreams come true? What steps can you take right now to move forward?

CHAPTER 2

Leave Your Baggage

"Everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn't mean they have to pay for them the rest of their life. Sometimes good people make bad choices, it doesn't mean they're bad ... It means they're human."

~Unknown

If you are like me, you have made some choices, big and small, that you'd rather not look at again, but it is important to face all aspects of who you are so you can forgive and heal. Healing is an inside job and it must start with you.

One of the most important things you can do on your path to success is to forgive yourself and others. Forgiveness is by far one of the most powerful words in existence, and will change your life forever. Although it is not always the easiest task, it is imperative to move forward and experience emotional closure.

(Continues…)



Excerpted from "Life Check"
by .
Copyright © 2013 Robin Marvel.
Excerpted by permission of Loving Healing Press, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Life Checks,
Introduction,
1 – Rock the Boat,
2 – Leave Your Baggage,
3 – Raise The Bar,
4 – Push The Limits,
5 – Setting Life In Motion,
6 – Lose Sight of the Shore,
7 – Live Today to Create Tomorrow,
Epilogue,
About the Author,
Bibliography,
Index,

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Life Check: 7 Steps to Balance Your Life! 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 1 reviews.
iconlan More than 1 year ago
In her introduction to her fifth and newest book Robin Marvel states, “This book will show you how to embrace all areas of who you are, amplifying your strengths and transforming your weaknesses.” Unless you’re familiar with Robin, your reaction might be a cynical. “Yeah, right!” because that is a huge claim. But don’t react until you read it. If you know Robin, you know she does not make false claims. She states that she can help you do this in seven steps and each step gets its own chapter: Rock The Boat, Leave Your Baggage, Raise The Bar, Push The Limits, Live the Life You Have Imagined, Lose Sight of The Shore and Live Today, Create Tomorrow. Marvel doesn’t just give you information, she gives you questions—”Life Check” questions—that you can sit with and, perhaps, wrestle with, until you have a clear and very personal answer. In my review of her book, I extrapolated all the questions so I would have them together in one place. From her first question: What do you think you are worth?” to her last question, ” “What new amazing life stories will you create, starting today?” I was engaged. The questions are clear, relevant and thought provoking. Some sound simple but, in working with them, bring profound results in self awareness. Who should read this book? Anyone invested in self improvement or self awareness at any level should work through this book. It is like a great desert—small in portion but rich, tasty and huge in impact.