Like to Be a John (Humor, #24)

This was written a very long time ago, when someone offered to "pay me" for some rap lyrics. I never finished this, and obviously, for a list of good reasons. I thought that someone might get a good laugh at my expense about it, so here you go.

I ain't been to em all
But I been to one
One time I was lonely
And needed affection
She had me tied up
Gave me erections
What a selection
Of kinky thangs
Had Mr. Winky movin like a slinky
With whips and chains