Moose Memoirs and Lobster Tales: As True as Maine Stories Ought To Be

Moose Memoirs and Lobster Tales: As True as Maine Stories Ought To Be

by John McDonald


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Moose Memoirs and Lobster Tales: As True as Maine Stories Ought To Be by John McDonald

John McDonald has been making people laugh for decades with his humorous yarns poking fun at people from away, people from Maine, and life in general. Following up the wildly popular A Moose and a Lobster Walk into a Bar, the "Dean of Maine Storytelling" offers a new collection of stories that will make you laugh till you cry and cry till you laugh.
Here's a new round of classic stories brimming with half truths, stretched truths, and wry observations about life in Maine.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781608934461
Publisher: Down East Books
Publication date: 07/15/2016
Pages: 304
Sales rank: 789,677
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

John McDonald is a professional storyteller who has been performing and entertaining audiences in the small towns and big cities of New England for decades. He is an author whose books include Maine Trivia, A Moose and a Lobster Walk into a Bar and Down the Road a Piece: A Storyteller's Guide to Maine. He writes a weekly humor column that is published in many Maine newspapers. John is also the founder of the Maine Storyteller Festival and his talk show can be heard each weekend on WGAN in Portland. He lives in Portland, Maine.

Table of Contents

Introduction xi


So They Say 2

The Maine Dooryard 4

Nothin' But Puffins 6

Peering Into the Future 8

Keeping Secrets 10

Barter 12

Along The Lee Shore 14

Glad You Asked 17

Looking At Leaves 20

Deep Quiet 22

Keeping Warm 24

That's Browne with an E 26

I'm Fine, Otherwise 28

Good as Gold 30

The Dump 32

Downsizing 34

Completely Unsupervised 36

Stop Making Them 38

It's Organic 40

Grandfather's Stories 42

Coming Unglued 44

Rules For Shoppers 47

Literary Groups 50

No News 52

My Barbershop Experience 55

And The Winner Is 57

Tip Of The Iceberg 59

Ugly Toenails 61

How Are You Going To Learn? 64

Changes Down At the Store 67

Homes That Move 70

The Weekly Reader 72

Distant Relatives 74

My Work Memories 76

Otto's Slicer 78


Too Cold To Snow 81

Improving Yourself 83

Just A Little Off the Top 85

Table Talk 87

A Yard Sale Christmas 89

What's That Noise? 91

Here's the Proof 93

Bad Manners 95

What a view 97

Before The Year Was Invented 99

Just Wait a Minute 101

Just Point and Click 103

Know-It-All 105

The Wheels of Justice 107

Be Careful 109

Who Is Rex Roberts? 111

Staying Up Late 113

Where Toothpicks Are Made 115

Life on the Forty-Fifth Parallel 117

Where Did we Go Wrong 119

Bud's Travels 121

The Halls of Justice 124

Rise and Fall 126

A Record Broken 128

Say What? 130

BLTs May Be At Risk 132

What's in a Name? 134

What an Idea 136

Revolutionary 138

Let It Snow 140

No Way 142

The Peavey 144

Czar Reed 146


Over in the West 149

Tradition 151

Left on the Shelf 153

March Meeting 155

Don't Try This At Home 157

Stirring Up a Hornet's Nest 160

The Horn 163

Mostly True 165

Start Runnin' 167

What Happened 169

What's An Ocean View Worth? 171

Can't Miss It 173

I Will Never Forget Them 175

Not a Bad Idea 177

A Dramatic Change 179

Go Figure 182

Let's Review 184

Water Witching 186

Déjà vu All Over Again 188

A Town In Need of an Incident 190

Maine Cuisine 192

Maine Casual 194

You Can't Please Everybody 196

The Death of Wolf 198

This Great Country of Ours 200

Mr. Moody's Tower 202

The Old Maine 204

Are Your Seeds in the Ground? 206

Over? 208

To Stay or to Go 210

Yard Sale Society 212

Tourism 214


Beaches 217

Sailing with Spuds 219

A Little Dickering 221

Funny Noises 223

Playing Catch-Up 226

Forecasting the Weather with Cows 228

Three Legs 230

Down to Camp 232

Fog That Plans to Stay Awhile 234

Unfettered Free Enterprise 236

Houseguests 238

The Down East Economy 240

It's Official 243

Secret Societies 245

It's the Law 247

You Are Important 249

The Purest Form 252

A Lot Less Useful 254

The Pinnace Virginia 256

A Great Show 258

Human Nature 260

One of the Worst 262

It's Always Something 264

The Outlets to Come 266

Things You Should Know 268

Couldn't Find the Church 270

Horse People vs. Pony People 272

Bushel Baskets Full 274

Changes 276

Our Cities Are Few 279

If your Lips Turn Blue 281

Being Struck Dumb 283

The Experts 285

Measuring Summer 287

About The Author 289

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