The Process and the Power
Honesty is at the cornerstone of every relationship, whether it's business or personal. Being aware of someone else's true intentions is undeniably valuable, often saving you time, money, energy, and heartache. When you know a person's true intent, you have the power to control the situation, or at the very least not be taken advantage of.
There is no greater ability than consistently and constantly making the right decisions in life. Remember, though, your decisions are only as solid and right as the facts that you base them on. You will learn how to get at the message beneath the words, how to know what people are thinking when they don't say what's really on their mind. A former client of mine put it best when she said, "It's like having a man inside their camp -- an outpost in their head."
In an ideal society there would be no need for lies or for this book. But we live in a world of deception. And whether you want to play or not, you're in the game. The question is, do you want to win? In romance you need never play the fool again. In business you'll get the upper hand. Wherever and whenever you deal with people, you'll have the tools to come out a winner.
What's in This Book and How to Use It
I'm what is affectionately referred to as a hired gun, a specialist in the field of human behavior. As a board-certified hypnotherapist with a Ph.D. in psychology, I represent corporations as well as private individuals, and offer a type of leverage that many high-paid attorneys, top-notch accountants, and seasoned executives cannot.
Too often we miss the meaning behind the message. As you know, people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say. This book focuses on the truth and how to get at it.
To be an effective negotiator, you must use many strategies and techniques, all of them relying upon the accuracy of the information you're given. The answers you get from the world's most powerful supercomputer are worthless if the numbers you give it to work with are wrong.
We often forget how easily facts can get lost in a conversation, negotiation, or interrogation. Abraham Lincoln is said to have posed the following question: "How many legs would a sheep have if you called its tail a leg?" "Four," explained Lincoln. "Because calling its tail a leg doesn't make it one."
While people lie for many different reasons, their lying rarely benefits the person lied to. And there's that one undeniable truth about lying. Everybody does it, but nobody likes it when it's done to them.
It takes at least two people for a lie to be effective -- one to offer the lie and one to believe it. And while we certainly can't stop people from trying to lie to us, we can keep them from being successful.
This book is divided into eight parts, each of which explores a facet of lying. The innovative techniques in this book will help you figure out if you're being lied to. If you are the victim of a deception, they will assist you in getting at the truth and in gaining control over the situation. Many of the examples in this book are drawn from personal relationships and business situations; certainly most of us can identify with these scenarios.
Signs of Deception
This book picks up where others leave off, going well beyond observing body language clues. The first part offers a catalog of forty-six clues to deception, divided into seven sections. Some of the clues involve the fundamentals of body language, while others use more advanced techniques and processes such as psycholinguistic emphasis and neural linguistic choice perception. Each section concludes with a summary for easy reference.
Becoming a Human Lie Detector
"We often fly blind into verbal combat." That is to say, we usually think of the questions we should have asked two days after the battle is over. This section offers a specific game plan to detect deceit, detailing exactly what to say and when to say it. This sophisticated system involves choosing from a variety of scripted sequences, each from a different psychological angle. Each script includes a primer, an attack sequence, and silver bullets.
Tactics for Detecting Deceit and Gathering Information in Casual Conversations
Now what about those times in casual conversation when you think someone might be lying to you, but a full-fledged interrogation is out of the question? This section provides phenomenal techniques for gathering more information without being obvious. You will also learn how to steer a conversation in any direction that you choose in order to get the information that you want. This section also covers those times when different tactics are necessary for getting to the truth, instances where you may not have the leverage you need. The psychological process is different than if you were coming from a position of strength.
"Mind Games" includes two simple techniques that provide extraordinary results. When you use the first, almost no one will be able to lie to you. When you employ the second, you will be able to discern anybody's true intentions and motivation in any situation.
This section presents the most advanced and groundbreaking techniques for getting at the truth. Using a blend of hypnosis and a system I have developed called Trance-Scripts, you'll be able to give commands directly to people's unconscious minds -- all in conversation and without their awareness. Through this process you can persuade others to tell the truth.
Psychology on Your Side
This part explores the ten fundamental laws of human behavior, the principles that govern our thinking. Once you learn these laws, you'll know how to get the truth out of anyone. With an understanding of how the brain processes information, you will be able to easily influence other people's decisions.
Internal Truth Blockers
Here's the biggest truth in a book about lying: we lie loudest when we lie to ourselves. We all know someone who absolutely refuses to believe that his or her spouse is unfaithful, despite all the warning signs. This section shows you how to become aware of and eliminate those internal blockers that keep you from seeing what's really going on.
External Truth Blockers
This section lets us in on the psychological secrets of the experts. You will discover how the pros -- from professional poker players to master negotiators -- keep you from perceiving the facts in an objective fashion, even affect your ability to evaluate information. The influence of the pros is enormous; they can have a powerful impact on your perception of reality -- unless, of course, you've read this book and can outthink them.
Excerpt from NEVER BE LIED TO AGAIN, copyright © 1998 by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D. All rights reserved.