Never Be Lied to Again: How to Get the Truth in 5 Minutes or Less in Any Conversation or Situation

Never Be Lied to Again: How to Get the Truth in 5 Minutes or Less in Any Conversation or Situation

by David J. Lieberman

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780312186340
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Publication date: 05/15/1998
Pages: 224
Product dimensions: 5.74(w) x 8.56(h) x 0.67(d)

About the Author

David J. Lieberman, Ph.D., whose books have been translated into fifteen languages, is an internationally renowned leader in the field of human behavior. He has appeared on more than two hundred programs and is a frequent guest expert on national television and radio shows such as The Today Show, The View, The Montel Williams Show, National Public Radio, PBS, and A&E. Dr. Lieberman holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is the creator of Neural-Dynamics Analysis, a revolutionary short-term therapy. He is a sought-after speaker, lecturer, and consultant across a spectrum of fields. Techniques based on his work have led to groundbreaking advancements in numerous areas and are used by governments, corporations, and professionals in more than twenty-five countries. He lives in New York City and Florida.

Table of Contents

Introduction: The Process and the Power 1(1)
What's in This Book and How to Use It 2(10)
PART I. SIGNS OF DECEPTION 12(55)
SECTION 1. BODY LANGUAGE The Language of the Eyes / The Body Never Lies / The Unconscious Cover-up / The Partial Shrug
12(5)
SECTION 2. EMOTIONAL STATES: CONSISTENCY AND CONTRADICTION Timing Is Everything / Contradiction and Consistency / The Emotion Commotion / The Expression Zone
17(4)
SECTION 3. INTERPERSONAL INTERACTIONS The Head Shift / The Posture of a Liar / If She's Headed for the Door.../ If He's Not Touchin', He's Probably Bluffin' / The Finger That Never Points / Roadblocks, Barriers, and Obstacles
21(5)
SECTION 4. WHAT IS SAID: ACTUAL VERBAL CONTENT Using Your Words to Make His Point / The More He Tries, the More You Should Worry / The Good Old Freudian Slip / I'm Above That Sort of Thing / Silence Is Gold-Plated / An Implied Answer Is No Answer
26(7)
SECTION 5. HOW SOMETHING IS SAID Speedy Gonzales / Compensation / Emphasis Makes the Meaning / The Mumbler / Questions and Statements Shouldn't Sound Alike
33(6)
SECTION 6. PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE He's Got Cheating on His Mind / The Single Guy / Another Dimension in Lying / Everything Went Perfectly! / Is There Anything You Would Like to Know?
39(6)
SECTION 7. GENERAL INDICATIONS OF DECEIT Whew, I'm Sure Glad That's Over / How Dare You Accuse Me? / Never Believe Anyone Who Says This / I've Got My Answer Down Pat / Can You Repeat the Question, Please? / Sleight of Mouth / Tricky Dicky / Don't Be Ridiculous / We're Out of Stock / The Number Zone / Nervous Nellie / Oh So Clever / The Moral Assumption / Oh, by the Way / Lots of Lies / Wild, Wild, Wild
45(22)
PART II. BECOMING A HUMAN LIE DETECTOR 67(52)
PHASE ONE. THREE ATTACK-SEQUENCE PRIMERS
67(6)
Primer 1. Don't Accuse--Allude
68(2)
Primer 2. Similar Scenario
70(1)
Primer 3. It's Amazing, Isn't It?
71(2)
PHASE TWO. ELEVEN ATTACK SEQUENCES
73(25)
Attack Sequence 1. Direct Questioning
73(6)
Attack Sequence 2. Lead and Confine
79(1)
Attack Sequence 3. Time Line Distortion
80(3)
Attack Sequence 4. Direct Assumption / Shot in the Dark
83(2)
Attack Sequence 5. Who, Me?
85(3)
Attack Sequence 6. Outrageous Accusations
88(1)
Attack Sequence 7. Is There a Reason?
89(2)
Attack Sequence 8. Third-Party Confirmation
91(1)
Attack Sequence 9. The Chain Reaction
92(2)
Attack Sequence 10. The Missing Link
94(1)
Attack Sequence 11. Condemn or Concern
95(3)
PHASE THREE. ELEVEN SILVER BULLETS: HOW TO GET THE TRUTH WITHOUT BEATING IT OUT OF THEM
98(21)
Silver Bullet 1. If You Think That's Bad, Wait Until You Hear This!
102(1)
Silver Bullet 2. It Was an Accident. Really!
102(1)
Silver Bullet 3. The Boomerang
103(2)
Silver Bullet 4. Truth or Consequences
105(1)
Silver Bullet 5. Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace
106(2)
Silver Bullet 6. Reverse Course
108(1)
Silver Bullet 7. I Hate to Do This, But You Leave Me No Choice
109(1)
Silver Bullet 8. I Guess You're Not Allowed
110(1)
Silver Bullet 9. Higher Authority
111(2)
Silver Bullet 10. The Great Unknown
113(2)
Silver Bullet 11. I Couldn't Care Less
115(4)
PART III. TACTICS FOR DETECTING DECEIT AND GATHERING INFORMATION IN CASUAL CONVERSATIONS 119(30)
General Conversations
119(3)
Special Occasions
122(16)
Directing the Conversation
138(4)
Getting Specific
142(1)
Let the Truth Be Told
143(2)
Taking Control
145(4)
PART IV. MIND GAMES 149(8)
A Strong Defense
149(3)
Know Thy Enemy
152(5)
PART V. ADVANCED TECHNIQUES 157(16)
Embedded Commands
157(1)
4-3-2-1
158(2)
Unconscious Creations
160(1)
Disassociation
161(1)
Eye-Accessing Cues
162(1)
Anchoring the Truth
163(2)
Heaven and Hell
165(1)
The Bridge
165(2)
Advanced Conversation Stoppers: Trance Phrases
167(1)
See for Yourself
168(5)
PART VI. PSYCHOLOGY ON YOUR SIDE
Ten Commandments of Human Behavior
173(10)
PART VII. INTERNAL TRUTH BLOCKERS: WE LIE LOUDEST WHEN WE LIE TO OURSELVES 183(9)
Self-Deception
183(1)
Opinions, Attitudes, and Beliefs
184(1)
Don't Let Your Emotions Get the Better of You
185(7)
PART VIII. EXTERNAL TRUTH BLOCKERS: TRICKS OF THE TRADE 192(13)
Rule 1. Wow! You're Just Like Me
192(2)
Rule 2. Beware the Stranger Bearing Gifts
194(1)
Rule 3. It's Half Price! But Half of What?
195(1)
Rule 4. Just Do This One Little Thing for Me?
196(2)
Rule 5. The Bandwagon Effect
198(1)
Rule 6. A White Lab Coat Doesn't Make Anyone an Expert
199(1)
Rule 7. Rare Doesn't Always Mean Valuable
200(1)
Rule 8. A Color Pie Chart Doesn't Make It True
200(1)
Rule 9. I'm on Your Side
201(1)
Rule 10. Look at What You're Getting, Not What You're Promised
202(1)
Rule 11. Well, Can You at Least Do This?
203(1)
Rule 12. I'll Show You
204(1)
Conclusion 205(2)
Additional Information 207

What People are Saying About This

Warner Chen

This book can change your life. Best of all it's easy to read and you can apply the [techniques] instantly.
—Dr. Warner Chen, Faculty Fellow of Harvard University

Introduction

Introduction

The Process and the Power

Honesty is at the cornerstone of every relationship, whether it's business or personal. Being aware of someone else's true intentions is undeniably valuable, often saving you time, money, energy, and heartache. When you know a person's true intent, you have the power to control the situation, or at the very least not be taken advantage of.

There is no greater ability than consistently and constantly making the right decisions in life. Remember, though, your decisions are only as solid and right as the facts that you base them on. You will learn how to get at the message beneath the words, how to know what people are thinking when they don't say what's really on their mind. A former client of mine put it best when she said, "It's like having a man inside their camp -- an outpost in their head."

In an ideal society there would be no need for lies or for this book. But we live in a world of deception. And whether you want to play or not, you're in the game. The question is, do you want to win? In romance you need never play the fool again. In business you'll get the upper hand. Wherever and whenever you deal with people, you'll have the tools to come out a winner.

What's in This Book and How to Use It

I'm what is affectionately referred to as a hired gun, a specialist in the field of human behavior. As a board-certified hypnotherapist with a Ph.D. in psychology, I represent corporations as well as private individuals, and offer a type of leverage that many high-paid attorneys, top-notch accountants, and seasoned executives cannot.

Too often we miss the meaning behind the message. As you know, people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say. This book focuses on the truth and how to get at it.

To be an effective negotiator, you must use many strategies and techniques, all of them relying upon the accuracy of the information you're given. The answers you get from the world's most powerful supercomputer are worthless if the numbers you give it to work with are wrong.

We often forget how easily facts can get lost in a conversation, negotiation, or interrogation. Abraham Lincoln is said to have posed the following question: "How many legs would a sheep have if you called its tail a leg?" "Four," explained Lincoln. "Because calling its tail a leg doesn't make it one."

While people lie for many different reasons, their lying rarely benefits the person lied to. And there's that one undeniable truth about lying. Everybody does it, but nobody likes it when it's done to them.

It takes at least two people for a lie to be effective -- one to offer the lie and one to believe it. And while we certainly can't stop people from trying to lie to us, we can keep them from being successful.

This book is divided into eight parts, each of which explores a facet of lying. The innovative techniques in this book will help you figure out if you're being lied to. If you are the victim of a deception, they will assist you in getting at the truth and in gaining control over the situation. Many of the examples in this book are drawn from personal relationships and business situations; certainly most of us can identify with these scenarios.

Part 1
Signs of Deception

This book picks up where others leave off, going well beyond observing body language clues. The first part offers a catalog of forty-six clues to deception, divided into seven sections. Some of the clues involve the fundamentals of body language, while others use more advanced techniques and processes such as psycholinguistic emphasis and neural linguistic choice perception. Each section concludes with a summary for easy reference.

Part 2
Becoming a Human Lie Detector

"We often fly blind into verbal combat." That is to say, we usually think of the questions we should have asked two days after the battle is over. This section offers a specific game plan to detect deceit, detailing exactly what to say and when to say it. This sophisticated system involves choosing from a variety of scripted sequences, each from a different psychological angle. Each script includes a primer, an attack sequence, and silver bullets.

Part 3
Tactics for Detecting Deceit and Gathering Information in Casual Conversations

Now what about those times in casual conversation when you think someone might be lying to you, but a full-fledged interrogation is out of the question? This section provides phenomenal techniques for gathering more information without being obvious. You will also learn how to steer a conversation in any direction that you choose in order to get the information that you want. This section also covers those times when different tactics are necessary for getting to the truth, instances where you may not have the leverage you need. The psychological process is different than if you were coming from a position of strength.

Part 4
Mind Games

"Mind Games" includes two simple techniques that provide extraordinary results. When you use the first, almost no one will be able to lie to you. When you employ the second, you will be able to discern anybody's true intentions and motivation in any situation.

Part 5
Advanced Techniques

This section presents the most advanced and groundbreaking techniques for getting at the truth. Using a blend of hypnosis and a system I have developed called Trance-Scripts, you'll be able to give commands directly to people's unconscious minds -- all in conversation and without their awareness. Through this process you can persuade others to tell the truth.

Part 6
Psychology on Your Side

This part explores the ten fundamental laws of human behavior, the principles that govern our thinking. Once you learn these laws, you'll know how to get the truth out of anyone. With an understanding of how the brain processes information, you will be able to easily influence other people's decisions.

Part 7
Internal Truth Blockers

Here's the biggest truth in a book about lying: we lie loudest when we lie to ourselves. We all know someone who absolutely refuses to believe that his or her spouse is unfaithful, despite all the warning signs. This section shows you how to become aware of and eliminate those internal blockers that keep you from seeing what's really going on.

part 8
External Truth Blockers

This section lets us in on the psychological secrets of the experts. You will discover how the pros -- from professional poker players to master negotiators -- keep you from perceiving the facts in an objective fashion, even affect your ability to evaluate information. The influence of the pros is enormous; they can have a powerful impact on your perception of reality -- unless, of course, you've read this book and can outthink them.

Excerpt from NEVER BE LIED TO AGAIN, copyright © 1998 by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

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Never Be Lied to Again 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 17 reviews.
Grasshopper13 More than 1 year ago
I have read a few of David Lieberman's book and thought they were ok, but this book I highly recommend to everyone. As a police officer, former teacher, husband and father, I can tell you the techniques in this book work. The author tells you exactly how to get the truth out of anyone step by step. If you committ the techniques in this book you will become a human lie detector. Since I am in law enforcement, I know that a lie detector can be tricked. I've seen it done and tested it myself, but the techniques in this book will empower you to get to the truth. Ladies, with these tools you will not wonder if your man is lying, you'll know! You must add this to your permanent library.
miskandar More than 1 year ago
If I can give zero star on this book, I would have. This book has destroyed the relationship between me and my boyfriend, who apparently has a low self esteem himself. This book is nothing but just a scam to elevate the low-esteem people and to give them a false self-confidence. You just can't tell someone lying from the body language but according to the author you CAN. Perhaps this book is written by the author for manipulating stupid and low self-esteem people.
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I love this book...
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This book is spectacular it works
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Clicking on links takes you to a "parked" web site. This book should not have been released if the supplemental material was not ready. Seems rather like false advertising calling this a "multimedia book" at this point. Which I find rather ironic given the subject matter.
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Guest More than 1 year ago
This book gives ample ways on how to spot a lier. It's easy to read and gives clear cut examples and situations on how to to peep out deceptiveness. Will also give you imperative information on always obtaining the upperhand in any situation.Great book!