Norse Mythology for Bostonians: A Transcription of the Impudent Edda

by Rowdy Geirsson

Overview

Norse Mythology for Bostonians is a humorous retelling of the trials and tribulations of Odin, Thor, and the other Norse gods. Regarded as an authentic, new "Edda" (as the original Icelandic source material is called), the main narrative is told in the charmingly quaint dialect of a foul-mouthed Bostonian. New mythological episodes, such as Thor's attempt to renew his driver's license and Odin's mysterious journey to Boston Common, supplement the more traditional stories such as Odin's acquisition of the mead of poetry and the theft of Idunn's apples of youth. Substantial historical background information about the myths is provided in the introductory material, as well as in the footnotes that occur throughout the volume.

Based on the long-running McSweeney's Internet Tendency column Norse History for Bostonians, Norse Mythology for Bostonians, introduces readers to a fresh, new perspective on both familiar and previously unknown narratives of Norse mythology.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780578586526
Publisher:	Puffin Carcass
Publication date:	01/29/2020
Pages:	216
Sales rank:	1,075,065
Product dimensions:	5.25(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.54(d)

About the Author

Rowdy Geirsson has ingloriously served as McSweeney's sole Norse History for Bostonians correspondent since the dark and dreary, recession-ridden days of 2010. In 2017 he created Mis- adventures in Heavy Metalling, an ongoing, low-quality metal fiction column that evokes all the atmospheric riffs and indecipherable vocals of a 1980's Elizabeth Shue movie for the popular music site, Metal Sucks. He also regularly contributes other textual atrocities to the humor sites Points in Case and Slackjaw and is the sole proprietor of www.scandinavianaggression.com, a mediocre blog about Vikings past and present. He lives in the grim and frostbitten hinterlands of Norumbega, Vinland.

Table of Contents

CONTENTS

Introduction

A Note on the Linguistics and Method of Transcription

Old Norse Astrophysics

A Brief Overview of the 9 Worlds

Old Norse Racial Diversity

Prominent Figures of the Old Norse Pantheon

THE IMPUDENT EDDA

Cosmological Frost Giant Genocide

Middle-Earth is Just an Eyelash on the Celestial Gallows Pole

The Original Gandalf was a Maggot

How Not to Get Away with Witch Murder

Wicked Good Dwarf Treasure

Odin Commits Suicide

Thor Begets the Green Monster

Loki Gets Boned by a Horse

Blood Spit Honey Death

Bad Poets Drink Bird Shit

The Night Freyja Walked the Streets

Frey’s Inglorious Gay Bar Experience

Loki is a Dead Beat Dad

Divine Hands Make Good Wolf Fodder

Never Go Apple-Picking with a Bad God

The Mistreatment of a Deviant’s Ballsack

Thor’s Cross-Dressing Misadventure

Odin Experiments with Public Vagrancy

Sad, Flaccid Sex God

Thor Visits the RMV

Hostile Cattle Decapitation Day

The Lay of the Bs

Thor Wades through the Menstrual Fluid Fjord

Only Foolish Gods Ride the Green Line

Brady Gets Suspended (featuring the Dikbonatal)

Belichick Rides to He

Loki Swims with the Fishes

Snake Poison Torture Time

Thor Breaks and Enters into a Dunkin’ Donuts

Everyone and Everything Dies

Afterword

Index

Image Credits

Additional Resources