Oops! How to Rock the Mother of All Surprises: A Positive Guide to Your Unexpected Pregnancy

Oops! How to Rock the Mother of All Surprises: A Positive Guide to Your Unexpected Pregnancy

by Tracy Moore

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Overview

Oops! How to Rock the Mother of All Surprises: A Positive Guide to Your Unexpected Pregnancy by Tracy Moore

As seen on Good Morning America

"Ready or not, here comes baby!

Talk about a bump in the road. Whether you were waiting until "the right time" to have kids or hoped and pleaded the day wouldn't come, you'll breathe a sigh of relief when you flip through Oops! In this collection of humorous essays, Jezebel.com blogger Tracy Moore shares her personal experiences with jumping headfirst into motherhood—without a clue what she was doing. Unexpectedly pregnant at thirty-three, Moore's life completely changed when she had to give up her beloved cigarettes and cold deli meats and quickly learn how to care for the little bundle of (ahem) joy growing inside her. Her honest advice will help you cope with all the changes and feelings that will occur on your way to parenthood.

From stockpiling baby supplies in just a few months to being the lone sober one at a party, this book answers all your questions and braces you for the unexpected.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781440562068
Publisher: Adams Media
Publication date: 10/18/2013
Pages: 256
Sales rank: 1,195,084
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Tracy Moore writes Jezebel.com's wildly popular weekly column, Motherload, a humorous, often exasperated look at the conventional expectations and frustrations of modern motherhood. She has also written for Village Voice papers, LA Weekly, the Dallas Observer, Nashville Scene, Houston Press, Rolling Stone magazine, and Spin magazine. She and her husband spend all the rest of their extremely limited free time wrangling a toddler who insists on drinking her own bathwater. You can read her column at www.jezebel.com/mother-load.

Table of Contents

Introduction 11

State 1 Shock: Holy Shits You're Pregnant 17

1 You're So Not Alone (Because There's a Baby Inside You) 19

2 Did I Screw Up My Chances for a Healthy Baby? 25

3 Are There Any Disadvantages to an Unplanned Pregnancy? 33

4 Ten Advantages to an Unplanned Pregnancy 35

5 Will My Life Be Over? 41

6 But I'm Not Even a Baby Person! 47

State 2 Help!: How to Deal with Pregnancy Obstacles 51

7 What Will People Say about Me? (Because I Know They Will Say Things) 53

8 If Your Friends and Family Start Acting Like Dramatic Weirdos 59

9 How the Hell Do I Get Ready for an Actual Baby? 65

10 How to Eat All the Stuff You Aren't Supposed To 75

11 Everything Is Beautiful (in Its Own Disgusting Way): A Public Service Rant 81

12 What Not to Wear, Unplanned Pregnancy Edition 89

13 Your New Boyfriend: Food 95

14 How to Deal with Emotional Upheaval 101

Stage 3 Logistics: Real-Life Stuff to Figure Out 109

15 What Will an Unplanned Baby Do to My Relationship? 111

16 Working Whilst Pregnant 119

17 Figuring Out Your Maternity Leave 127

18 Finding Good Child Care 131

19 You Are about to Lose One Precious Commodity Forever: Free Time 139

20 If You're Adding to Your Brood 147

21 What You Should Really Take Away from Birthing Class 153

Stage 4 Excitement: The Actual Baby Arrives! 161

22 The Baby Is Coming: A Few Thoughts on Labor 163

23 Holy Shit, You're IN LABOR 171

24 Welcome to Your New, Cliché-Ridden Life 177

25 Get Used to Feeling Like Shit for a While 187

26 Managing Visitors the First Few Weeks Home 193

27 What to Wear Postpartum 199

28 Breastfeeding: Kind of a Bitch 205

Stage 5 Rocking It: Your Life with Baby 211

29 The Great Baby Excuse 213

30 Four Types of Women When It Comes to Post-Birth Sex 217

31 How to Be Cool with a Baby 221

32 Being a Mom Isn't Easy-You'll Need a Little Help from Your "Friends" 229

33 All Babies Are Sweet, Precious Bundles of Joy, and Other Baby Myths 237

34 Reflections 243

Appendix: Resources 249

Index 253

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