Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, April 27, 1895 (Illustrated)

Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, April 27, 1895 (Illustrated)

by Various Various

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Paterfamilias. Well, now that we are here, I hope you are satisfied. As for myself, I hate these problem plays.

Materfamilias. They are entirely the vogue just now, and we must see them. What everybody does we must do.

Angelina. So I told Edwin—I should say, Mr. Domum—when he complained of our going.

Mater. Of course. We have to follow the fashion.

Pater. Hush! You must not talk any more, see the curtain has risen.

(Five minutes pass.)

First Heroine (on the stage). And so, my dear, my marriage was an utter failure. The monotony of the life was terrible. My husband anticipated my every wish. The tameness was too awful for words, and so I left him.

[Loud applause.

Mater. (to her husband). Ah, I never left you, Richard!

Pater. (to his wife). Nor I you, Bridget!

Angelina (aside). I suppose married life must be very wearisome.

(Ten minutes pass.)

Second Heroine (on the stage). And now I will tell you the secret of my life. I never loved my husband. He gave me all I required—fine clothes, sparkling jewels, an opera box. But his presents were insults in disguise, and I left him.

[Loud applause.

Pater. I did not insult you by handing you too many gifts, Bridget?

Mater. Indeed you did not, Richard. In fact, I think you carried your abstention too far.

Pater. Not at all. See, after these many years, we are devoted to one another!

Angelina (aside). Failure of Marriage Number Two! Weddings seem to be mistake!

(Two hours pass.)

Third Heroine. I tell you, my Lord Bishop, that I have never regretted leaving you. Twenty years ago you were a young curate, and you spoilt our married life by your indulgence. You let me have everything I wanted. No, my Lord, I will hear no more.

Angelina (aside). Another matrimonial failure! I really must have a good think over it.

Pater. (to Mater.). Well, I hope you are satisfied!

Mater. (to Pater.). Awfully depressing, but I don't see what harm it can do to anyone.

(An hour passes.)

Angelina (writing in her own room). "Dear Edwin, I call you by your christian name, for the last time. I can never be yours. I am convinced from all I have heard that marriage is a failure. Sincerely yours, Angelina."

[Scene closes in upon a flood of tears.

Product Details

BN ID: 2940148205470
Publisher: Lost Leaf Publications
Publication date: 01/21/2014
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
File size: 569 KB

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