Quiet the Rage: How Learning to Manage Conflict Will Change Your Life (and the World)

by R.W. Burke

Overview

In a world with more than 7 billion people, 196 countries, 7,000 spoken languages, and close to 30 religions, the probability of one group or one person intentionally or unintentionally offending another group or another person is absolutely certain. Many people limit themselves in life based on their inability to get along with others, and too often we allow ourselves to be ruled by our emotions. When we're emotionally reactive, we're not our best selves, nor do we produce the smartest outcomes. Emotional reactions create winners and losers. And winning directly at the expense of another is actually losing in disguise, due to the resentment it inspires in the loser. Often, people get stuck in a pattern of reacting emotionally, long past the time when the combativeness that once served them no longer does; long past the time when the pattern has become destructive without them being aware of it. For everyone who wants to change that part of themselves—everyone who wants more peaceful interactions and more successful outcomes, but doesn't know how to achieve that—Quiet the Rage is the answer.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781943006403
Publisher:	SparkPress
Publication date:	07/30/2025
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	264
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

R.W. Burke is a Certified Professional Coach through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). He holds BS in accountancy from Providence College, and a master's of business administration degree with a concentration in finance from Providence College's School of Business. For thirty years, he's worked in and around the automobile business. For the last six of those years, he's worked to become the top coach on Ford Motor Company's Consumer Experience Movement (CEM) project, covering twenty-three dealerships in seven states. He is also responsible for CEM Inside, Ford Motor Company's regional initiative to bring the work done by coaches in the field to its own field staff, and has worked with BMW North America and their half-owned subsidiary, The Retail Performance Company, to develop a coaching initiative and workshop. He and his wife live in Rhode Island with their two St. Bernards, Goliath and Petunia. His son attends UCLA.

Table of Contents

Foreword John Kuzava 9

Preface Denise Burke 13

Reflection: The Source of Conflict 15

Readiness: The Advent of Self-Awareness 21

Rage: Borne of Conflict, Becoming Conflict 31

Reality: Broken Rules, Broken Life 49

Reason: History, Influencing the Present 53

Responsibility: The Super Wicked Problem 59

Realize: People and Personal Values 65

Step 1 Declaring Personal Values 69

Recurrence: Personal Values as Triggers 91

Step 2 Identifying Hot Situations 97

Reaction: The Creation of Emotional Energy 107

Rampage: Being Conflict, and Highly Reactive 117

Step 3 Emotional Reactions 145

Refrain: The Theory of Reactivity 163

Step 4 Interrupting Emotional Reactions 171

Repetition: No Intention, No Emotion, No Reaction 181

Reckoning: My Struggling with Faith, Math, and Abandonment 197

Response: Coaching Yourself Up 217

Step 5 Crafting a Response. 227

Resolve: How Learning to Manage Conflict Will Change Your Life (and The World) 237

Afterword 249

Appendix 253

About the Author 257

About the Publisher 261

Editorial Reviews

2017 USA Best Book Awards Finalist in Self-Help: Relationships

“What an honest, vulnerable, incredible journey! Burke’s writing style is clear, concise, and bam—to the point! I will need to read this book more than once.” —Linda Guthrie, Coach, Consumer Experience Movement, Ford Motor Company “I have worked a lot on my anger; however, the info in this book is like discovering the missing link. Now, I have a much better understanding of why I get spun up in certain situations. I have a much better toolkit for dealing with my anger or avoiding it altogether.” —Phil Klein, Facilitator, Maritz Performance Improvement, General Motors Standards For Excellence “Great read! This book will change your life.” —Bob Esposito, Dealer Principal, General Manager, Yankee Automotive Group “This book is for everyone . . . especially someone like me who struggles with anxiety. It offers a way to take control back instead of feeling tossed by the waves.” —Jennifer Roberts, Sales Manager, Genesee Valley Ford “This book has forever changed the way I view interactions with people, both professionally and personally.” —Jason Standley, Business Development Center Manager, Rowe Auburn/Rowe Westbrook “The world needs more people who know how to manage conflict. Much of what is wrong in our society today could be changed if everyone understood how their anger is triggered. To adapt a quote from the cartoon character Pogo, ‘I have met the enemy and it is me.’ Everyone, even those who do not have a concern about rage, need to read this book.” —Linda Mitchell, author of Choose Change . . . Before Change Chooses You! Thirteen Weeks To the Life You’ll Love!
“R.W. Burke shares his wisdom and insights about how to manage conflict well in Quiet the Rage. Read this book and prepare for a peaceful life!”
—Marshall Goldsmith, international best-selling author/editor of thirty-five books, including What Got You Here Won’t Get You There and Triggers
"In this thorough, explorative, and highly personal work, Burke gives readers tools and ideas for self-examination, growth, and conflict resolution . . . successfully tackles a complex subject that’s relatively uncommon in self-help titles . . . What makes it particularly stand out is Burke’s willingness to show his story in all lights in the service of his project—what his wife, Denise Burke, in a preface, calls 'the good, the bad, and the ugly of my husband’s life.’”
—Kirkus Reviews

From the Publisher