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Resilience
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By the time I was 19, there were three things I loathed more than anything; me, myself and I. I couldn’t trust myself. I didn’t love myself. Worst of all, I couldn’t get away from myself.
I consumed anything to flee from my feelings. Drugs, alcohol. Cigarettes. I hated myself for being so weak. For being powerless. I wanted to stop but couldn’t. Sobriety meant reality and that meant facing myself. That felt too vulgar. Too annihilating. Too utterly shameful.
And then, my world collapsed. I un...
I consumed anything to flee from my feelings. Drugs, alcohol. Cigarettes. I hated myself for being so weak. For being powerless. I wanted to stop but couldn’t. Sobriety meant reality and that meant facing myself. That felt too vulgar. Too annihilating. Too utterly shameful.
And then, my world collapsed. I un...