Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal

by Vern

Overview

Vern, the self-styled 'outlaw film critic' is described by Hellboy director Guillermo Del Toro as "equal parts Hell's Angels and Pauline Kael... a national treasure!" 

Now Vern unleashes his magnum opus: an in-depth study of the world's only aikido instructor turned movie star/director/writer/blues guitarist/energy drink inventor, the ass-kicking auteur Steven Seagal. 

"A book that'll shake the very foundations of film criticism, break their wrists and then throw them through a window." 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780857687302
Publisher:	Titan
Publication date:	04/03/2012
Sold by:	Penguin Random House Publisher Services
Format:	eBook
Pages:	512
File size:	744 KB

About the Author

The writer known only as Vern is loved for his unorthodox reviewing style and his expertise in "the films of Badass Cinema." His review of the slasher movieChaos earned him a wrestling challenge from its director; his explosive essay on the PG-13 rating of Live Free or Die Hard prompted Bruce Willis himself to walk barefoot across the broken glass of movie message boards to respond.

Table of Contents

Introduction   David Gordon Green     i
Introduction 2: Dark Territory     v
Golden Era (1988-1991)
Above the Law     3
Hard to Kill     19
Marked For Death     33
Out For Justice     41
Silver Era (1992-1997)
Under Siege     57
On Deadly Ground     69
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory     85
Executive Decision     95
The Glimmer Man     101
Fire Down Below     109
interlude: My Giant     117
[transitional period] (1998-2002)
The Patriot     123
Exit Wounds     131
Ticker     141
Half Past Dead     151
Dtv Era (2003-present)
The Foreigner     165
Out For a Kill     175
Belly of the Beast     185
interlude: Songs From the Crystal Cave     199
Clementine     205
Out of Reach     211
Into the Sun     225
Submerged     243
interlude: Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Energy Drink     251
Today You Die     257
Black Dawn     271
Mercenary For Justice     283
interlude: MojoPriest     291
Shadow Man     295
Attack Force     307
Flight of Fury     315
Urban Justice     325
Pistol Whipped     335
Conclusion     353
Other Appearances and Productions     369
Hard To Film: The Ones That Never Made It     383
My Review of Steven Seagal and Thunderbox Live in Seattle     387

Editorial Reviews

Equal parts Hell’s Angels and Pauline Kael, Vern is a National Treasure!!!" - Guillermo Del Toro, director of Pan’s Labyrinth and Hellboy

“Film criticism genuinely gets no better than this. I would be jealous if I didn’t enjoy reading him so damn much” - ‘Moriarty’, Ain’t It Cool News West Coast Editor

• Advance praise for Seagalogy:
“We can't believe this actually exists, but the world is certainly a better place for it.” - New York Magazine

“Uproariously funny... the film book I never knew I always wanted to read."
Nerve.com

"There were many points in reading Seagalogy where I was suddenly laughing out loud, which is more than I could say for the smirky-at-best experience of reading SWPL and Douchebags... Vern might begin the book in an ironic Chuck Norris Fact–style context, but as he moves through the Seagal oeuvre, he falls into a weird sort of man-love with his subject. It's a real narrative journey, it's informative, and it's written in a clear voice with a consistent, tongue-in-cheek tone. This is a book that I want to hold onto forever; it makes me laugh, but it also has more value than dozens of other slapped-together humor books churned out by publishers desperate to acquire some tiny, melting slice of cultural currency." thestranger.com

"Seagalogy is a raucous, thigh-slapping and informative read that can murder spare time as easily as Steven Seagal can break peoples’ necks. In short Vern’s Seagalogy is an unexpected gem." —mania.com (Mania Grade: A. Maniac Grade: A+).

"With the obsession of a fan and the authoritative tone of a professor, Vern takes us through every film with attention to plot, themes, dialogue, influences and even politics... This book shouldn't exist in this form, it shouldn't be so wise-crackingly funny, but it does and it is." —denofgeek.com (4 stars out of 5)

"Now I had never heard of the author before breaking this book's arm, throwing its head through a car windshield and calling it a life. But now the duder will stay in my noggin since he has earned my respect via this affectionate, in depth and often side splitting piece of work." —Arrow in the Head (3.5 out of 4)

"Seagalogy not only made me laugh my ass off, but sent me to Amazon to buy some of the early Seagal DVDs I didn’t already own. This book is an instant cult classic." —Bookgasm

From the Publisher