Strangers Assume My Girlfriend Is My Nurse

by Shane Burcaw

Overview

With his signature wit, twenty-something author, blogger, and entrepreneur Shane Burcaw is back with an essay collection about living a full life in a body that many people perceive as a tragedy. From anecdotes about first introductions where people patted him on the head instead of shaking his hand, to stories of passersby mistaking his able-bodied girlfriend for a nurse, Shane tackles awkward situations and assumptions with humor and grace.

On the surface, these essays are about day-to-day life as a wheelchair user with a degenerative disease, but they are actually about family, love, and coming of age.

Shane Burcaw is one half of the hillarious YouTube duo, Squirmy and Grubs, which he runs with his girlfriend, now fiancee, Hannah Aylward.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781626727700
Publisher:	Roaring Brook Press
Publication date:	04/30/2019
Pages:	208
Product dimensions:	5.60(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range:	14 - 17 Years

About the Author

Shane Burcaw has Spinal Muscular Atrophy and a wicked sense of humor. He runs a blog about his experiences and is the founder of a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing adaptive technology to people living with muscular dystrophy. He is the author of Laughing at My Nightmare and the picture book Not So Different. He lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota, with his girlfriend.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 Eighth-Grade Pee Fiasco 6

Chapter 2 Ron 16

Chapter 3 Locked Out 27

Chapter 4 Road Rage and Rag Dolls 35

Chapter 5 Strangers Assume My Girlfriend Is My Nurse 41

Chapter 6 Buffalo 47

Chapter 7 Reddit 56

Chapter 8 Laughing at Our Nightmare 64

Chapter 9 Jerika 74

Chapter 10 Beaufort 80

Chapter 11 Rant 88

Chapter 12 Deadly Ducks and Cheese Curds 93

Chapter 13 The Elevator 103

Chapter 14 San Francisco 113

Chapter 15 Hannah and Shane Take Manhattan 122

Chapter 16 Adaptation 134

Chapter 17 Your Complete Guide to Shane's Sex Life 141

Chapter 18 Another Bathroom Story 148

Chapter 19 Coughing 152

Chapter 20 If I Could Walk 156

Chapter 21 Spinraza 160

Chapter 22 StankTour 172

Chapter 23 The Move 191

Editorial Reviews

02/20/4

In his second memoir, a collection of 23 essays, Burcaw candidly shares hilarious, cringe-worthy, and poignant stories about his life and living with spinal muscular atrophy (SMA). Readers gain a deeper understanding of Burcaw as the collection progresses—he discusses making jokes to diffuse tension after a “pee fiasco” as a child and becoming a man who uses shocking humor to challenge assumptions about his life. Burcaw juxtaposes introspective and sometimes painful memories with incisive observations on how disability is perceived. Regarding a childhood experience as a guest on the annual MDA Labor Day Telethon, where he was portrayed as pitiable in order to raise money: “Society had it wrong, but their wrongness is so deeply ingrained from centuries of outcasting the disabled that it didn’t help to get angry.” From his sex life to first attempts at trying marijuana edibles, Burcaw doesn’t shy away from topics that might be considered delicate; instead, he emphasizes the awkwardness, celebrating highs and lows alike. Above all, Burcaw succeeds in illustrating that “disability does not equal sadness.” Ages 14–18. Agent: Tina Wexler at ICM. (Apr.)

Publishers Weekly

04/01/2019

Gr 9 Up—In the follow-up to his memoir Laughing at My Nightmare, Burcaw recounts his life with spinal muscular atrophy in this collection of 23 essays. Equal parts humorous, tender, and insightful, the pieces give an unfettered look at Burcaw's life and the assumptions others make about living with a disability. Vignettes include a disastrous trip to New York City with a dying electric wheelchair, starting a career as a motivational speaker, falling in love, and confronting the difficulties of transitioning to life outside of his parents' care. Intimate details, such as going to the bathroom and having relationships, are treated with frankness, and awkward situations are addressed head-on. The stigma he encounters day-to-day, from strangers giving him money to waiters giving him the kids menu, will be eye-opening for readers with and without disabilities. At points, the book is laugh-out-loud funny, making a sometimes difficult subject matter approachable and engaging, and each essay is concise and highly readable. The more vulnerable sections make the biggest impact, such as Burcaw's recurring fear of being a burden on those he loves. VERDICT This collection provides both funny and insightful firsthand anecdotes of living with spinal muscular atrophy. A recommended purchase for both teen and adult collections.—Kathryn Justus, Renbrook School, West Hartford, CT

School Library Journal

2019-01-08

Burcaw (Not So Different, 2017, etc.) returns with a collection of vignettes relating his life as a 25-year-old white man with spinal muscular atrophy, a debilitating disease affecting his whole body.

With the same frankness and gallows humor that marked his Laughing at My Nightmare (2014), Burcaw's accounts of madcap road trips, love amid explosive diarrhea, and more demystify and normalize "the nastier side of being human" while critiquing—sometimes poignantly—society's widespread patronization of disabled people. Readers with and without disabilities will cringe at such indignities as kiddie menus, unsolicited prayers, and the titular assumption. Sometimes he gives nondisabled people the benefit of the doubt...if only to keep from ramming his wheelchair into their cars. "Spinraza" and "If I Could Walk" offer nuanced takes on the "cure" debate, exploring the differences between hope and reality and meeting in between. Despite his claim to the contrary, Burcaw matures (somewhat) as he examines his internalized misperceptions, vulnerability, and fears of being a burden. Through his family, friends, and girlfriend's support—and a darkly comical role reversal—Burcaw finally understands a truth that readers navigating disabilities will particularly appreciate: "When you love someone with your whole heart, there's nothing you won't do to keep them safe and comfortable. It's not a sacrifice and it's not a burden; it's a natural instinct."

An accessible, smart-assed, and unexpectedly tender exploration of life, love, and disability. (photos, not seen) (Memoir. 14-adult)

Kirkus Reviews

★ "His capacity for self-reflection offers a good model for readers struggling to do the same, and his negotiation of independence will have resonance for many young people. Approachable, enjoyable, and often edifying." - The Bulletin, starred review

"Equal parts humorous, tender, and insightful, the pieces give an unfettered look at Burcaw’s life and the assumptions others make about living with a disability." - School Library Journal

"With the same frankness and gallows humor that marked his Laughing at My Nightmare (2014)... An accessible, smart-assed, and unexpectedly tender exploration of life, love, and disability." - Kirkus Reviews

"With uncompromised self-confidence and contagious humor, his no-holds-barred essays address some of the curious, quirky, and even intimate questions folks have about his condition... Written in his frank, often earthy, style, this will hold readers mesmerized." - Booklist

"Burcaw doesn’t shy away from topics that might be considered delicate; instead, he emphasizes the awkwardness, celebrating highs and lows alike. Above all, [he] succeeds in illustrating that 'disability does not equal sadness.'” - Publishers Weekly

"Burcaw writes with humor and humility in the engaging, insightful collection of tales from his life. His anecdotes are candid and revealing— all areas of his life are fodder for laughs and discussion." - VOYA

From the Publisher