Tender Offer

When one door closes, another opens to unlock your heart and awaken unexpected desires.

Trying to find love has become a graveyard of disappointment. My dating history reads like an obituary of bad decisions and a lack of common sense. I have neither the patience, a map, Ciara's prayer, nor holy water to keep swiping right.

After a recent rejection to add to my wall of shame, I'm done. Over it. There are only so many skid marks—the kind left on your forehead and not from questionable hygiene—...