The Art of Almost Losing It

There comes a time in every almost-thirty-year-old woman's life when getting kidnapped off the street is preferable to admitting that the hot, rich boyfriend you've been bragging about for months does not, in fact, exist.

Yes, it's terrifying being stuffed in the trunk of a Mercedes, but I would rather be locked in a stranger's penthouse than sleeping on the floor of my parents' apartment like the loser daughter I am.

Honestly?

It's nice to get some alone time. And my own bathroom.

He bribes me...