The C*ck Down the Block

Always the nerdy girl, never the girlfriend Until her cocky best friend and his *ahem* rooster take charge.

Look, I've had it bad for the girl with all the curves next door forever. She turned me down in high school and since I'm not a total douchecanoe, I lusted after her all by myself in my shower, and we stayed just friends for years.

Now she's the adorkable librarian next door and I'm the star quarterback of the best pro football team in the league.

So when she asks me to be her fake date ...