The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting

The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting

by Bunmi Laditan
The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting

The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting

by Bunmi Laditan


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From the bestselling author of Dear God, an irreverent, bracingly honest, and “awfully funny” (The Boston Globe) satirical parenting guide from the Twitter’s most infamous tot, whose unchecked sense of entitlement and undeniable charm have captivated hundreds of thousands of fans.

Are you constantly disappointing the toddler in your life?

Are you tired, stressed out, and looking for relief? I can’t help you with that, but if you want to become an A+ servant to your small child, this book is for you. Who better to teach you about toddlers than another toddler? You will learn:

• How time-outs make you look like a fool
• Why potty training is not only unnecessary but unrealistic for children under eighteen
• Why toddler beds are OUT and letting your child sleep on the diagonal in your bed is IN
• The best way to apologize to your toddler for all of those Pinterest casseroles
• That when you love someone, you accept them as they are, pants or no pants

The hard-hitting knowledge in The Honest Toddler will save you thousands of dollars in unnecessary whole grains and toothbrushes.

Happy reading. You’re doing the right thing. For once.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781476734774
Publisher: Scribner
Publication date: 04/22/2014
Pages: 256
Sales rank: 977,529
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.38(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Bunmi Laditan is a regular contributor to,,, and The Huffington Post. She lives with her family outside of Montreal. The Honest Toddler is based on her youngest child. Not potty trained, not trying, HT enjoys attention, cake, television, running, and games.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 "Why Did You Do That?": The Ins and Outs of Toddler Behavior and How to Leave It Alone 3

Chapter 2 Parenting from the Heart: Ignoring Outside Influences 29

Chapter 3 Toddler-Approved Recipes 47

Chapter 4 Food-Shopping Guide: What We DO and DON'T Need 65

Chapter 5 Sleep: Weaning Yourself Off It 75

Chapter 6 Distractions and Personal Interests: Letting Them Go 93

Chapter 7 Grooming, Dressing, and General Hygiene: How to Keep Your Hands to Yourself 101

Chapter 8 Books, Television, and Games: Understanding and Spending Real Money on Toddler Entertainment 113

Chapter 9 Special Occasions: Making Them Magical for Your Sweet Angel 135

Chapter 10 Pets: Helping Your Toddler Love Them Tight 151

Chapter 11 More Tips for Effective and Brief Communication with Your Toddler 161

Chapter 12 Car Etiquette (and Places to Avoid Visiting) 171

Chapter 13 Breakdown of Popular Toddler Trends, from Amber Necklaces to Jeggings, and Why You Should Avoid Them 183

Chapter 14 Green Snot: How to Treat Your Toddler's Illnesses 195

Chapter 15 The Long Hello: Birth 201

Chapter 16 Good Times: Vacationing with Your Toddler 207

Chapter 17 Parents and Their Dangerous Vices: Learning Self-Control 213

Chapter 18 Pony Training Simplified/Eliminated 231

Conclusion: You've Come a Long Way 237

Afterword Bunmi Laditan 239

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