Pastors spend much of their time counseling people in crisis—a delicate task that requires one to carefully evaluate each situation, share relevant principles from God's Word, and offer practical suggestions for moving forward. Too often, however, pastors feel unprepared to effectively shepherd their people through difficult circumstances such as depression, adultery, eating disorders, and suicidal thinking. Written to help pastors and church leaders understand the basics of biblical counseling, this book provides an overview of the counseling process from the initial meeting to the final session. It also includes suggestions for cultivating a culture of discipleship within a church and four appendixes featuring a quick checklist, tips for taking notes, and more.
Pastors spend much of their time counseling people in crisis—a delicate task that requires one to carefully evaluate each situation, share relevant principles from God's Word, and offer practical suggestions for moving forward. Too often, however, pastors feel unprepared to effectively shepherd their people through difficult circumstances such as depression, adultery, eating disorders, and suicidal thinking. Written to help pastors and church leaders understand the basics of biblical counseling, this book provides an overview of the counseling process from the initial meeting to the final session. It also includes suggestions for cultivating a culture of discipleship within a church and four appendixes featuring a quick checklist, tips for taking notes, and more.
The Pastor and Counseling: The Basics of Shepherding Members in Need
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Overview
Pastors spend much of their time counseling people in crisis—a delicate task that requires one to carefully evaluate each situation, share relevant principles from God's Word, and offer practical suggestions for moving forward. Too often, however, pastors feel unprepared to effectively shepherd their people through difficult circumstances such as depression, adultery, eating disorders, and suicidal thinking. Written to help pastors and church leaders understand the basics of biblical counseling, this book provides an overview of the counseling process from the initial meeting to the final session. It also includes suggestions for cultivating a culture of discipleship within a church and four appendixes featuring a quick checklist, tips for taking notes, and more.
About the Author
Jeremy Pierre (PhD, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) serves as Dean of the Billy Graham School of Missions, Evanglism, and Ministry as well as professor of biblical counseling at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is also a pastor at Clifton Baptist Church and serves on the board of directors for the Biblical Counseling Coalition. Jeremy and his wife, Sarah, live in Louisville, Kentucky, and have five children.
Deepak Reju (PhD, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) serves as the senior pastor of Ogletown Baptist Church in Newark, Delaware. He also serves on the board of directors for the Biblical Counseling Coalition. He and his wife, Sarah, have five children.
Jeremy Pierre (PhD, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) serves as Dean of the Billy Graham School of Missions, Evanglism, and Ministry as well as professor of biblical counseling at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is also a pastor at Clifton Baptist Church and serves on the board of directors for the Biblical Counseling Coalition. Jeremy and his wife, Sarah, live in Louisville, Kentucky, and have five children.
Deepak Reju (PhD, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) serves as the senior pastor of Ogletown Baptist Church in Newark, Delaware. He also serves on the board of directors for the Biblical Counseling Coalition. He and his wife, Sarah, have five children.
Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
Laboring for Your People
Shepherds do not smell good. At least, good shepherds do not smell good. A good shepherd identifies with stinking sheep, and the scent rubs off.
But shepherds stink not only because they smell like sheep. They stink because they smell like sweat. And blood, too. Like common laborers, their faces are streaked and their backs are bent. Like common soldiers, their eyes are strained and their arms are scarred. Like both, they often feel overspent and undersupplied. And they've made peace with the fact that this kind of work requires as much. You'll never meet a good shepherd who is still shower-fresh by the afternoon.
In the same way, you'll never meet a good pastor who has a breezy attitude toward his task. He does not bemoan the hard work required to care for the stubborn and the hurting while still feeding and protecting everyone else. Sure, every pastor has days when he is tempted to look heavenward and ask, why the constant problems from these people? But he finds the faith to accept that his task is hard. God made it that way to empty a pastor of himself, so that he may be filled with the power of Christ.
PUBLIC MINISTRY, PERSONAL PROBLEMS
We have never heard the explicit claim that ministry is easy. But we have seen many pastors try to arrange it to be. We've also seen plenty of men head into the pastorate for a pulpit ministry. What they mean by pulpit ministry is getting paid to preach and teach, with perhaps a pastoral visit here and there. They know personal ministry and counseling are important, so they usually plan to grow the church budget through their amazing pulpit skills, then hire an associate pastor to do everything else.
We do not mean to sound caustic. We were once young men with visions of leading a loyal people into the great unknown through eloquent exposition and piercing application, the power of the Word radiating from the pulpit like blazing light in the dusky culture. Husbands would take the hands of their wives during our sermons and repent in bitter tears that afternoon. Addicts would decide then and there to never indulge again. Depressed people would come out of their fog under the sound of our voices. Our preaching ministry would be strong enough to make the counseling ministry unnecessary. Or at least mostly unnecessary. Sure, there would be a straggling nut-job here and there, but the church would be healthy because of the preaching ministry.
But two things kept us from persisting in this dream: experience and the Bible. Experience is a strict schoolmaster. It points out right away that we start out as pretty crummy preachers. Even as we become less crummy, we will find that improved preaching does not necessarily correlate with less trouble in the lives of our people. In fact, pick your favorite preacher, and you will see a church with a bigger budget but no less trouble in the life of its people. Experience won't permit the illusion that preaching is all there is to ministry.
Just to be crystal clear, preaching is the vital and central ministry of the Word in the mission of the church. It is a primary purpose of the body's gathering and is foundational to any personal ministry we do. So do not misunderstand our intention here. We are not calling into question the primacy of the preaching ministry. We are merely pointing out that it is not the only place that the ministry of the Word happens in the life of the church.
Experience alone would not be a sufficient teacher to establish this point. Better than simply learning from what doesn't work in the real world is learning what constitutes shepherding by looking to the Bible.
PERSONAL MINISTRY IN SCRIPTURE
Peter's eyes were probably weary as the morning sun was just starting to warm the beach. He probably studied Jesus's resurrected face closely as they ate breakfast in silence, all the disciples too timid to ask if it was really he. They were waiting for Jesus to start the conversation.
"Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"
You know the story. Three times Jesus asked Peter if he truly loved him. By the third time, Peter was grieved that Jesus would seem so unconvinced by his affirmative answers. But each time, Jesus was instructing Peter how to demonstrate genuine love for him: "Feed my sheep" (John 21:15–19). Loving Jesus involves caring for those who are his. And caring for those who are his will involve death. For Peter, it was literal death. Jesus predicted "by what kind of death he was to glorify God" (v. 19).
Ministry Is Suffering
While we recognize that Peter's calling as an apostle was unique to him, we also understand that the path of following Jesus in leading his church will include both labor in feeding sheep and suffering at the hands of others.
Many years later, the seasoned Peter would make this connection urgently clear:
So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. (1 Pet. 5:1–4)
Peter's authority as an apostle was due, in part, to his witness of the sufferings of Christ. He focused on Christ's suffering because it was necessary to the glory to be revealed. This is a major theme of Peter's letter (1 Pet. 1:6–7, 11; 2:21–25; 3:13–17, 18–22; 4:1, 7, 12–19). Peter would one day participate in this glory, and so will every pastor who shepherds the flock of God until Christ's return.
But to get there, shepherds will suffer. Why else would Peter have to instruct his readers to take on this task willingly, even eagerly, and not under obligation? We don't naturally take on tasks that do not profit us ("not for shameful gain") or that we cannot ensure will go our way ("not domineering over those in your charge"). We don't naturally want to get close enough to model faithfulness in suffering. But the words of Jesus to Peter that morning on the beach probably echoed in the apostle's mind as he penned this exhortation to his fellow pastors. "Shepherd the flock of God" sounds a lot like "Feed my lambs."
Peter saw Jesus ascend into heaven, and it made whatever toil he had to face on behalf of his people well worth it. He knew that Jesus took his place in heaven to be the chief Shepherd, one who would be ultimately responsible for watching over every sheep. This is indeed a worthy labor.
Ministry Is Personal
But so far, we have only shown that Scripture indicates shepherding God's flock to involve labor and suffering; we have not yet shown that the toil is not merely in public proclamation, but also in personal ministry. To do so, let's look to Paul as a prime example of a man who toiled in public proclamation while also engaging in the labor of personal ministry.
Paul was a public beacon of gospel preaching, and he was called by God to suffer in this labor (Acts 9:15–16). He proclaimed the gospel openly in the synagogues, and this brought threats of death (9:20–25). Paul proclaimed the good news publicly in Cyprus (13:4), Antioch (13:14), Iconium (14:1), various cities of Lycaonia (14:6–7), and countless other places. A major portion of Paul's ministry was the public proclamation of the gospel.
But if we were to conclude there, we would have to ignore significant portions of Paul's ministry. His letters to the churches displayed the heart of a man who had labored many long hours in caring for God's people. In fact, he refers to his suffering and labor amid people as the credentials that prove his calling by God in opposition to those who used earthly impressiveness to prove theirs. He underwent beatings, stonings, and shipwreck to labor personally for God's people (2 Cor. 11:23–30). Paul speaks of his own ministry as flowing from "affectionate desire" for those under his care, a desire so strong that he, Silvanus, and Timothy "were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us" (1 Thess. 2:8). He underwent "labor and toil," earning a living so as not to be a burden on them, so that he could say, "Like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory" (2:11–12). There's a man who labored among his people for their good.
Paul's was not a pulpit-only ministry. His care for others didn't end with their participation in his public ministry, which is a temptation for all pastors. Pastors, if we are viewing our job primarily in terms of our public influence, then we will lose the heart for personal ministry. Sometimes we are more bothered by the thought of people leaving our church than we are by the thought of them hurting. But this was not Paul's heart, and it wasn't the heart of the One he followed.
The rest of the New Testament expounds on the personal nature of pastoral ministry. Three of its teachings will prove helpful in our consideration of the task of counseling. Personal ministry involves (1) identifying with the weakness and sin of people, (2) speaking to God on behalf of people, and (3) speaking to people on behalf of God.
Pastoral labor involves identifying with the weakness and sin of people. Condescension. We usually use this word negatively because it implies that a person thinks he is superior to others, yet resigns himself to coming down to their level. But the term condescension is perfectly appropriate to Jesus's association with sinners, since he does exist on a plane above ours. He existed in perfect joy and satisfaction with the Father, God of all, bright and majestic, served by the flaming angels of heaven, with no obligation to people below, wicked and sorrowful from sin. Yet the only being in all the universe who should be served by everyone instead served everyone. He considered the interests of others (Phil. 2:4) by not insisting on staying in the contented glory of heaven that was his divine possession (2:6). Instead, he served us by identifying with our troubles (2:7), particularly our main trouble: death (2:8). Death is a problem we could never have solved. We needed the help of another. And the One who helped tells us to follow his example: "Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus" (2:5).
Death to ourselves for the good of others requires getting involved in their troubles. Jesus put himself in the position necessary to sympathize with weak people: "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin" (Heb. 4:15). Jesus can sympathize with us because he exposed himself to the actual experience of temptation (v. 15b). He entered as a participant in the danger of a sin-cursed world and now can deal gently with the weak and wayward since he understands their weakness (5:2). He who could rightfully exist for all eternity without ever experiencing pain or distress entered a reality where he was characterized by both. He was a "man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief" (Isa. 53:3).
And so it is with pastors serving Jesus's flock. Jesus stands in the muddy waters of his people's weakness, waywardness, and suffering, and he beckons the pastor to come join him there. Pastors who want to follow have to trudge into unknown waters. The grimy surface keeps them from knowing how deep it gets, and the odor warns them of something unpleasant beneath the surface. But they trust the One who's calling them into it.
Pastor, you are freed to imitate this pattern for the good of your people. Every pastor is a servant of Jesus, and a servant is not greater than his master (John 13:16). You are called to take on the risk and the toil of people's problems. Like Jesus, you help people who, in a sense, have no business demanding help from you. If the chief Shepherd is dirty and cut up, so too those who follow him in this task. This does not necessarily mean that you become the primary counselor of your church, but it certainly means that you need to learn the skills necessary for serving your people in their trouble.
Pastoral labor involves speaking to God on behalf of people. Pastors ought to be eager and constant in prayer. There are at least two advantages to prayer that flow from close association with people in their troubles.
First, personally caring for your people will make your prayers more fervent. A pastor who labors lightly among his people often labors lightly before God. A pastor who agonizes with people will feel some agony in his prayers on their behalf. When pastors move away from personal ministry to almost exclusively public or administrative tasks, they can easily lose sight of the profound needs in their midst, and this will have a numbing effect on their prayers. Jesus taught us to pray to the Father with kingdom desperation (Matt. 6:7–13), and bearing the burdens of your people will drive you to desperate prayer.
When a pastor witnesses the miserable effects of anger in a home, sits with a discouraged widow who feels like she should be over her grief after two years, comes alongside a teenager who's convinced he's the worst pervert in the world, talks with a man who's had it with his marriage — suddenly his desperate need for wisdom becomes more apparent. Witnessing the desperation that sin and its effects cause in people's lives will bring a holy desperation to a pastor's prayers. The misery of the world is often what prompts the prayers of God's people. And pastors must not insulate themselves from this prompting.
Second, personally caring for your people will make your prayers more dependent. Nothing feels more futile than talking a depressed person out of despondency or an anorexic girl out of her unrealistic self-assessment. One of the best ways to feel your inability to change anything is giving counsel to abuse victims or perpetrators, to people with stubborn attitudes or foggy minds, to those who despise you and the Bible you're opening. Coming alongside people in impossible circumstances will be a constant reminder to the pastor of his need for the God of the impossible.
Pastoral labor involves speaking to people on behalf of God. Pastoral labor — including personal ministry — is also closely associated with proclamation. It is outright toil to proclaim Christ to people. Once again, Paul is our pastoral example: "Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me" (Col. 1:28–29).
In our pastoral labor, Christ is the message and Christlikeness is the goal. We want those in our care to be conformed to Christ, which happens as faith works through love. So the goal of a pastor in all his labor is to elicit faith in Christ through the proclamation of his gospel message. This is true in public as well as personal proclamation of the Word. Faith reframes the heart's functions so that a person once animated by sinful desire, darkened thinking, and earthly loyalties is ever-increasingly animated by righteous desire, enlightened thinking, and heavenly loyalties. And the only way faith emerges in the heart is through the ears hearing the message proclaimed: "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ" (Rom. 10:17).
Pastoral labor requires speaking to people on behalf of God in Christ. Paul was so committed to growing believers in Christ that if believers failed to persevere in faith, Paul said his labor would have been in vain (Phil. 2:16; see also Gal. 4:11). Establishing faith was the central goal of all his labors.
Proclaiming Christ requires pastors to go to the dark places in people's lives — those off-putting problems that are simply easier to ignore than to address. It could be marriages that are showing signs of fragmentation, alarming patterns in the life of a teen, disunity between two longtime members, the plaguing doubts of a church staffer, the mental volatility of a young man. Whatever the complexity of people's troubles, you can always ask yourself this orienting question: What does faith in Christ look like in this person's trouble?
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "The Pastor and Counseling"
by .
Copyright © 2015 Jeremy Pierre and Deepak Reju.
Excerpted by permission of Good News Publishers.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Copyright,
Series Preface,
Introduction: The Pastor and Wednesday Morning,
Part One CONCEPT,
1 Laboring for Your People,
2 Where Do We Begin?,
3 Your Method: How You Do Counseling,
Part Two PROCESS,
4 The Initial Meeting,
5 Laboring for Change,
6 The Final Meeting,
Part Three CONTEXT,
7 Never Laboring Alone: Toward a Culture of Discipleship,
8 Laboring Wisely: Using Outside Resources Well,
Afterword: A Labor of Love,
Appendix A: A Quick Checklist for the Counseling Process,
Appendix B: What Is Christian Counseling?,
Appendix C: Personal Background Form,
Appendix D: A Simple Method for Taking Notes and Organizing Data,
Special Thanks,
General Index,
Scripture Index,
What People are Saying About This
“Biblical counseling, grounded in the sufficiency and authority of Scripture, is essential to the health of the church. Furthermore, pastors must be equipped for the task of counseling with the Word of God. The Pastor and Counseling is a remarkably helpful introduction to the pastoral counseling ministry and is brimming with sage, biblical wisdom for both new and seasoned pastors. Every pastor needs this book.”—R. Albert Mohler Jr., President, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
“This book is faithful to God, thoughtful, and realistic about people. It’s clearly written, simple, and practical in its suggestions. We all struggle. How can you and your whole church learn to care well? Go take this book to heart.”—David Powlison, Late Executive Director, Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation
“This is a book on how pastors should listen to their church members and speak to them. This is a book on how we should love. It is eminently biblical, practical, and refreshing. Perhaps we should make it required reading for all new elders.”—Mark Dever, Pastor, Capitol Hill Baptist Church, Washington, DC
“This book demonstrates to busy pastors that the work of counseling is not only required, but also possible. If you are a pastor who feels overwhelmed by this critical task of shepherding, Pierre and Reju are reliable guides to steer you through the confusion. Their deep convictions about Scripture have been tested in the crucible of pastoral ministry. I am excited for you to learn from them in the pages of this book.”—Heath Lambert, Associate Pastor, First Baptist Church of Jacksonville; author, A Theology of Biblical Counseling and Finally Free
“This is the best primer for pastoral counseling I’ve read—and I’ve read many. Frankly, reading it is the equivalent of at least two excellent seminary courses on pastoral counseling. Read it, apply it, and be equipped for the personal ministry of the Word to God’s people in your church.”—Bob Kellemen, Academic Dean and Professor of Biblical Counseling, Faith Bible Seminary; author, Grief: Walking with Jesus
“Pierre and Reju offer a gem to pastors as they shine a light on the privilege and necessity of shepherding God’s people. Winsomely written, this primer is loaded with invaluable perspectives, guidelines, and insights on how to love others well during their time of need. Having spent countless hours with each of these pastors over the years, I wholeheartedly commend their work.” —Robert K. Cheong, Pastor of Care, Sojourn Community Church, Louisville, Kentucky; Council Board Member, Biblical Counseling Coalition; author, God Redeeming His Bride
“Pierre and Reju have written a balanced approach to both theory and methodology in one volume. It will be a great asset for the busy pastor who wants to do biblical counseling but doesn’t know where to start. One’s counseling appetite for truth and practical help will be satisfied, and one’s confidence will be strengthened. With this book in hand, the fear of counselees and their problems will lessen in the pastor’s heart.”—Rod Mays, Adjunct Professor of Counseling, Reformed Theological Seminary; Executive Pastor, Mitchell Road Presbyterian Church, Greenville, South Carolina
“One of the most important and perhaps most overwhelming things ministers do is pastoral care and counseling. This book provides pastors with a basic framework to approach the troubles and suffering of the people they are privileged to shepherd.”—Justin S. Holcomb, Episcopal Priest; Adjunct Professor of Theology, Reformed Theological Seminary, Orlando; coauthor, Rid of My Disgrace and God Made All of Me; editor, Christian Theologies of Scripture
“Pastoring is hard work, a labor of love that requires practical theological know-how along with the heart of Jesus for people who are suffering or straying. This is the best primer available, pointing pastors to the wisdom found only in the Bible and outlining basic methods and procedures for the personal ministry of the gospel.”—Sam R. Williams, Professor of Counseling, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary
“Pierre and Reju faithfully point pastors to the life-transforming power of the good news of Jesus Christ as both the means and the goal of change in counseling. I wish I had read such a book when I began ministry in the ’70s. It would have alleviated many fears about counseling and better equipped me to shepherd my congregation. This primer will be at the top of the list for our interns to read for pastoral counseling.”—Phil A. Newton, Director of Pastoral Care and Mentoring, Pillar Network; author, 40 Questions about Pastoral Ministry and Shepherding the Pastor
“Anything we don’t understand is scarier than it needs to be. This is often true for pastors regarding counseling. This book does an excellent job overviewing the counseling process, identifying common pitfalls, and providing intuitive protocols. It will orient you to your role in the process so that your fears do not distract you from caring for God’s people.”—Brad Hambrick, Pastor of Counseling, The Summit Church, Durham, North Carolina
“Pierre and Reju have written a counseling book where the starting point is the Word of God and the objective is a deeper understanding of the gospel. The book is loaded with practical, scriptural insights that can be applied to your context immediately. You’ll find yourself referring to it constantly when counseling or discipling.”—Robby Gallaty, Lead Pastor, Long Hollow Baptist Church, Hendersonville, Tennessee
“Pierre and Reju have given pastors everywhere a much-needed primer on biblical counseling in the context of the local church. This book will tear down the walls of anxiety that pastors feel when counseling members of their church and build up pastors as they counsel their congregants in a manner worthy of the gospel.”—Dave Furman, Senior Pastor, Redeemer Church of Dubai; author, Being There and Kiss the Wave
“Here is a great help for busy pastors who seek to fulfill their shepherding role through counseling members of their flock. Pierre and Reju provide a foundation for getting involved in the lives of hurting people and give a step-by-step approach to the counseling process that discusses a variety of issues counselors face. Practical advice for each stage of counseling is offered in the context of developing a culture of discipleship within the church. An encouraging book to pastors who need solid direction in the nuts and bolts of counseling.”—Richard P. Belcher Jr., Professor of Old Testament and Academic Dean, Reformed Theological Seminary, Charlotte, North Carolina
“A complex subject like pastoral counseling is well served by having a helpful, biblical, and condensed guide like The Pastor and Counseling. I commend Pierre and Reju on their ability to summarize the most important aspects of soul care. These men are practitioners who minister to people within the church on a weekly basis. I highly recommend this book to any pastor as a starter or refresher for his shepherding ministry.” —Stuart W. Scott, Associate Professor of Biblical Counseling, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary; author, The Exemplary Husband; coeditor, Counseling the Hard Cases
“What more could the shepherd ask for than a manual providing reasonable, understandable helps on shepherding the flock, both the needy and the healthy. Giving hope and help to shepherds in their God-given calling, this book is a must read for every pastor.”—Thomas Zempel, Pastor of Care Ministry, Colonial Baptist Church, Cary, North Carolina; Professor of Counseling, Shepherds Seminary
“This is one of the first books every shepherd of a local flock should own. It is at once reverently Christ-centered and accessibly practical. Step-by-step the authors outline how pastors can walk alongside hurting people, giving hope and help. I highly recommend this book.”—Chris Brauns, Pastor, The Red Brick Church, Stillman Valley, Illinois; author, Unpacking Forgiveness; Bound Together; and When the Word Leads Your Pastoral Search