Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Child's Teen Years

Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Child's Teen Years

by Mark Gregston
4.5 13

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Overview

Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Child's Teen Years by Mark Gregston

Are you ready for your child's teen years?

If you've ever lain awake at night wondering what might be around the corner of your child's adolescence, this book is for you! After more than thirty-eight years of working with more than 2,500 years, Mark Gregston, founder of heartlight, a Christian residential counseling center, introduces Tough Guys and Drama Queensa must-read "how-to" book for parents of pre-teens and teens with time-tested, biblical techniques to guide you through these unavoidably challenging years.

Mark helps parents realize that some natural parenting approaches are actually counter-productive and therefore totally ineffective.In place of those, he offers tried and true wisdom on the vital importance of relationship, forgiveness, and explains how conflict is actually the precursor to change.

Everyday your child is bombarded by highly sexualized culture and over-exposed to words and images that can influence them beyond your reach.your connection to them during these years is critical as is your response to tough issues such as appearance, performance, authority and respect, boundaries, and many more.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780849947292
Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
Publication date: 07/10/2012
Pages: 217
Sales rank: 291,082
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Mark Gregston has been helping parents and teens for 38 years. He is the founder and executive director of Heartlight, a residential counseling center for teens, which has helped more than 2,500 struggling adolescents. Mark spends 90 percent of his weekends teaching, and also hosts the Parenting Today's Teens radio program. Mark is happily married with two children, three grandchildren, one dog, and too many horses.

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Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Child's Teen Years 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 13 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The beginning of the book focuses on the changes in culture, mostly from media and social networking, that have occurred just within the past five years, The book is broken up into three main parts. Part one tackles the challenges of today's culture and it's impact and influence on both parents and kids. Part two addresses parental practices to avoid . Part three focuses on parenting practices that actually work with some clarification. That two Appendixes which are also helpful in my opinion are titled Conversation Starters and How To Discuss Conflict. Mark Gregston, along with his wife, serves as Executive Director for Heartlight Ministries and hosts Parenting Today's Teens radio talk show. Overall though, I would highly recommend this book to anyone that works with students in their teenage years. Teachers, parents, bosses, counselors, and everyone else working with students should take the time to study and think about this book. I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review and the opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
steveopinions More than 1 year ago
Tough Guys and Drama Queens How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Child's Teen Years by Mark Gregston starts out with reasons why today children do not respond to correctness the way previous generation respond to it. The saying “it is my way or the highway” just does not work with todays’ children. We are in a sad state with children of this generation not respecting and not taking the correction and to do the right thing. Unfortunately this book states that information comes at the children fast and hard in today world, so they have problems just processing it all and knowing what is right and wrong. The good news is that the book has several ways to help parents navigate these new waters of parenting. The biggest one that stood out for me was building a relationship with the children. This takes time and some patience of the parents’ part but in the end can have great results. This book will help me with my children now and the coming years. Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Thank goodness we haven't yet reached the "tough guys" and "drama queens" stage yet. From observation, however, it appears to be affecting kids at younger ages -- and parents I know are struggling. This month I read Tough Guys and Drama Queens by Mark Gregston, to see what strategies I could pick up. The book starts out a little slow, with lots of background on life for teens today. For most of us, this is something with which we are all too aware. The second section, on why our traditional parenting methods fail so miserably, was better. (But again, some of this is old news!) The good stuff was saved for the end -- what we should really be doing. One of the biggest takeaways is the importance of choosing what is most important, establishing clear and consistent consequences, and letting kids make mistakes on some of the other, less critical choices in life. This is something I have been working on all along, so it was great to read that this technique (may) work on tweens and teens. I would recommend this book to all parents, and probably grandparents as well. It could also be very useful to anyone who spends time with tweens and teens -- teachers, youth leaders, coaches, etc. I received this item at no charge from BookSneeze, in exchange for an honest review.
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SauravBasu More than 1 year ago
On first receiving “Tough Guys and Drama Queens” by Mark Gregston was in awe of its presentation. The rich red matt finish cover design made me excited about its contents. Greg himself sums up the purpose of the book - “to help parents better understand exactly what lies beneath the surface of the adolescent waters and to grasp the possible reasons that your child may fall or has already fallen into the snares of today’s society as well as to provide practical tools and tips to help parents abandon old-school parenting styles that aren’t working and replace them with methods that engage your child in relationship.” In other words, his philosophy is not just how to handle the turbulent teen years but how parents can better prepare their teens for adulthood. Gregston talks about what is different with today’s culture, why traditional parenting no longer works, and he gives a new model for parenting teens. This was quite a decent book and I would recommend that all parents read it no matter whether you are struggling with your teens or working with them. A great read overall.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
SavvyMomma More than 1 year ago
Mark Gregston's book, "Tough Guys & Drama Queens" is a book written to help parents avoid the pitfalls of their children's teenage years. What I really enjoyed was that Gregston was in touch with today's society and culture, and really understood the pressure that is placed on teenagers to act a certain way. It becomes vital for us as parents to help our children develop a strong moral compass, in order for them to make good decisions. The book focuses on parenting techniques, and really delves into which ones work and which ones don't. I really thought this was a great book, and would highly recommend this book to anyone with kids who are approaching the teenage years.
mkaske1 More than 1 year ago
This book is meant to be a guidebook to help parents navigate the difficult emotional and relational issues that come with having tweens and teens. There is so much that is changing in our world in regards to technology, communication, entertainment and culture in general, when you compound that with changing hormones and trying to figure out this strange middle ground between childhood and being an adult, it can be a very combustible combination. I loved this book! While it took a little while to get going, I thought that Mark spent a little too long emphasizing that the world has changed in this now digital age, the practical advice and the topics covered where spot on. By presenting major topics in both parenting styles to avoid and parenting styles/things to embrace, Mark lays out steps to develop and maintain a relationship with your child that will stand through the storms of the tween/teen years. This relationship is critical as you are ultimately trying to equip your child with the skills necessary to become a functioning adult. Using stories that Mark has personally witnessed by being a youth counselor as well as just presenting the bigger picture, this is a great book to put into your parenting ‘toolkit’. I hope that I am able to actually put this information into practice and as my kids go through these years, be able to have successful kids and strong relationships with them in the end. Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze® review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
sparrow16 More than 1 year ago
Kids today are so different from when I was young. Why? According to Mark Gregston, it's a changed world and kids are reacting to it. In a positive world, kids react positively, but with all of the negativity on television, at school, and even in the home, kids are reacting in kind. As a middle school teacher, I agree 100% with Mark Gregston. His comment on parents being in a tough spot when even choosing clothing (buy into the seductive dressing for girls or have their child be shunned by peers?), hit home. I see so many girls in middle school dressing for Project Runway. Are young teens ready for that? No. Puberty is kicking in and girls don't need the added boy stress. The tips that Gregston gives parents are great! One might say they are common sense, but with overworked parents and busy children's schedules, sometimes common sense takes a back seat. Gregston's reminders are timely and should be heeded. Parents and teachers should read this book and learn how to help our children grow up, but not so fast that their childhood is nonexistent.
seekingmyLord More than 1 year ago
I was really looking forward to reading Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Child's Teen Years because I have a tween drama queen in the making. I was pleasantly surprised that the core of Mark Gregston's philosophy is not just how to handle the turbulent teen years but how parents can better prepare their teens for adulthood. I am impressed that Mark Gregston, founder of a Christian residential counseling center called Heartlight, has had thirty-eight years of experience with more than 2,500 teens. The author explains the steps of the parental roles in memorable terms. In the first five years parents try to please their children. In the elementary years, there is a shift to protecting the children. Middle school aged children need parents to provide. The remaining teen years should be about preparing them for adulthood. Unfortunately, many parents get stuck in over-pleasing, over-protecting, and over-providing modes. The result is their teenagers are not prepared to be self-reliant adults and they take on the very traits the parents were hoping to avoid, but were inevitable with their parental approach. At first, it grated with me that Mark Gregston feels that the parenting approach that worked well with me as a child would not work today with the overexposure to information, the overloading children due to our heightened technology, but then I have to admit that today's culture is significantly different than when I was a teen. There were no such things as cell phones, home computers, and cable TV in my home as I was growing up, much less the Internet, email, blogs, Facebook, Twitter, texting, digital pictures, and video games. Between the pressures of school, activities, homework, chores, peer pressures, social media, and parental expectations to excel, a child could be starving for a loving, peaceful, and restful relationship with his parents, as the author suggests. I have felt strictly curtailing online and gaming activities would alleviate these pressures, but I agreed with the advice in the book that at some point teens need to be encouraged to make their own decisions, so they can learn from their mistakes--and, yes, they will make mistakes--at home with forgiving parents. I highly recommend this book for parents whether or not you are struggling with your tweens or teens. The book has suggestions on what parenting practices to avoid and what ones work. There are examples of previously ideal teens suddenly turning onto the wrong path and why other teens seem rebellious most of the time. Most importantly, I feel the wisdom contained helps the parent realize in a big picture way that the goal is not to have the "perfect teen," but to allow the teen to be imperfect. Not to buffer the teen from the world, but allow him to test the waters of self-reliance, self-control, and self-discipline by increasingly allowing him to make his own choices and realizing, as hard as it is to allow him to fail or get into trouble, that he will learn from his mistakes more than any lecture. Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Child's Teen Years will be staying on my shelf as a reference book to be reread in the future if only to remind me of the ultimate goal is to launch the teenager into adulthood and to encourage me stay on track with that big picture. Disclaimer: I was given this book from Booksneeze in exchange for my honest opinion, no other compensation was given.
WingedOne More than 1 year ago
Tough Guys and Drama Queens by Mark Gregston is a well written and organized book with some excellent and practical advice. With a family approaching the “teen years”, this is exactly the book I was looking for; especially as, as trite as it sounds, things have changed since I myself was a teenager. This is something that Mark Gregston appreciates and hits on right from the start. He begins the book with a section on how culture has changed over the years and then progresses on to suggestions on actions we should be avoid, and continues on with following chapters covering on parenting techniques that actually work. I found this book to have realistic expectations and suggestions; a refreshing change from much of the self-help type books that are currently lining the shelves of bookstores everywhere. This book would be a great read for not only parents of those approaching or in the “teen years” but also to those who work with them. The insight and suggestions are fresh and doable. Pre-teens and teens could also benefit from reading this; perhaps as a family book club reading – with both parents and teen/pre-teen reading it as a way of opening up a dialogue and seeing what they can do together as a family to make these years easier to pass through. Definitely a good resource. Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
Paula_Greene More than 1 year ago
My little princess is now a 16-year-old drama queen, and my sweet little boy is trying out his new role as tough guy at the age of 12½ . With the teen years, my confidence in my parenting skills has plummeted down the tubes with no help from this technologically-driven and sex-saturated culture. Mark Gregston showed me that what works well in the early childhood years can backfire in the teen years. He explains how and why I may want to take a different (yet still biblical) approach than what I have been in this book. As I began reading, my hackles were up and I became defensive. Who is Mark Gregston, a grandfather, to tell me what will work? But I kept going, and it was worth it. He truly does have the credentials and experience to assert these biblical ideas that are different than the ways that many of our parents raised us as teens. He has been working with teens for nearly 40 years and has witnessed the cultural impacts on the way teens think. He provides practical tools and tips to help parents abandon old-school parenting styles that no longer work and replace them with relational methods that engage teens. And he explains why – and why it’s different today than it was even a few years ago. The most valuable tips that I garnered from Mark Gregston in this book is knowing what to let go of and what to re-focus on with the big picture of what is truly important. I think this book is designed specifically for the very involved parent or one that wants control in their child’s life. On the other hand, it may not be fitting for a neglectful parent, but I suppose those kind wouldn’t be reading parenting books anyway. I highly recommend this book to every parent of pre-teens and teens in order to know what is lurking under today’s murky waters of adolescence and to know what to do if you are stuck knee-deep in the muck already (me!). I rank this book among my favorites as a parenting resource. Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Thomas Nelson Publishing in exchange for my honest review.