Unscrewed: Women, Sex, Power, and How to Stop Letting the System Screw Us All

by Jaclyn Friedman

Overview

An urgent account of sexual politics, feminism, and the rules of power in America-and a potent vision for the way forward

As a veteran feminist and agenda-setting sex educator, Jaclyn Friedman is on the frontlines of the war for equity between the sexes. In Unscrewed, Friedman brings her sharp expertise and incisive observations on the state of sexual politics to the fore, sparking a culture-wide rethink about sex, power and what we accept.
With reportage and verve, Unscrewed builds a searing investigation into the state of sexual power in America, and outlines how to make real progress toward equality. Friedman reveals that the anxiety and fear women in our country feel around issues of their sexuality are not, in fact, their fault, but instead are side effects of what she calls our "era of fauxpowerment," wherein women have the illusion of sexual power, with no actual power to support it. Exploring the fault lines where media, religion, politics, and education impinge on our intimate lives, Unscrewed breaks down the causes and signs of fauxpowerment, then gives readers tools to take it on themselves.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781580056410
Publisher:	Basic Books
Publication date:	11/14/2017
Pages:	288
Product dimensions:	6.10(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Jaclyn Friedman's work has redefined the concept of "healthy sexuality" and popularized the "yes means yes" standard of sexual consent that is quickly becoming law on many U.S. campuses. She is a popular speaker and opinion writer and the creator of three books: Yes Means Yes, What You Really Really Want and Unscrewed.

Table of Contents

Introduction: We the Fauxpowered 1

1 This Is Not My Beautiful House 15

2 What Women Want 41

5 Fauxpowerment will be Televised 59

4 Money Makes the Sex Go Round 79

5 The Separation of Church and Sex 99

6 Saving Ourselves from Rescue 117

7 Only Human 137

8 How to build a Better Man 159

9 Students of Desire 183

10 The Professionals 205

11 Our Internet, Ourselves 221

Epilogue: How to Join the Resistance 237

Acknowledgments 245

Notes 247

Index 263

Editorial Reviews

"Lively, emboldening...a potent, convincing manifesto on how female sexual equality marches onward despite cultural roadblocks."—Kirkus

"Friedman marries theory, politics, activism, and pop culture in a way that is simultaneously conversational and polemical."—Library Journal

"This book should be required reading in schools across the US. Honest, sometimes painful, and brimming with empathy. It couldn't have come at a better time. Jaclyn draws you in to a world of possibility. I am hopeful reading her writing. There is so much work to do to change the systems in which we live and Jaclyn gives us practical applicable ways of doing it."

--Tatiana Maslany, Emmy-winning star of Orphan Black

"Unscrewed is not just a book you should read, it's a book you'll love to read. Jaclyn Friedman's writing sings, and makes thinking about necessary and important issues a real pleasure. I can't wait to read it again."

--Jessica Valenti, author of the New York Times-bestselling Sex Object

"In this visionary and necessary book, Jaclyn Friedman cuts through the hypocrisy, mixed messages and confusion about sex, women and power. Unscrewed is firmly pro-pleasure, but also bitingly critical of the same old sexism dressed up in the language of "empowerment" -- it's power, Friedman argues, that matters, and she neatly eviscerates the formal and informal barriers that keep women from accessing it. Required reading for anyone who cares not just about women and sex, but about building a better society, Unscrewed will leave you with just one question: Can Jaclyn lead the new sexual revolution and unscrew us all?"

-Jill Filipovic, author of The H-Spot

"From the very first page, I realized that 'it isn't just me. Other women struggle with how to have the hot empowered sex feminists are always raving about.' I wish I'd had this book when I was 20. I'm so glad to have it now, to read, to teach to my students and share with my homegirls. Jaclyn doesn't just lay out all the problems with contemporary discourses on sex. She also shows us the way forward by profiling some of the path-breaking feminist badasses that are leading the way. It goes without saying that Jaclyn herself is one of these badasses. Every chapter reminds us in tangible ways, that these problems can be solved. We can get this right. There is hope. And the very first step is to get and read Unscrewed. "

--Brittney Cooper, Crunk Feminist Collective co-founder and author of Eloquent Rage




"Gender equality has enough superficial solutions, and Unscrewed is a precise rebuke to the notion that signifying progress is enough. Jaclyn Friedman's book reminds men that it is our job to end misogyny and rape culture, and tells women not to expect anything less."

- Jamil Smith, journalist and essayist

"As our society has become increasingly obsessed with the paradoxical pursuit of simultaneously controlling and liberating women sexually, there is no better expert than Jaclyn Friedman to help us dissect the complicated and surreal world we are currently living in. Sexuality has always been a tough and complicated topic for women but Jaclyn somehow always manages to make it fun and easy to talk about. You will find yourself nodding in agreement and whispering "yas" over and over as she captures the essence of every thought and feeling you've always had, but never shared. Jaclyn Friedman is the quintessential modern sex expert, at once understanding and empathetic yet honest and raw."

-Elizabeth Plank, Senior producer and correspondent, Vox Media





"Friedman makes her case with warmth, understanding and hope."—BUST magazine

"Friedman offers a relevant and well-researched overview of the current state of feminism in the U.S."—San Francisco Book Review

From the Publisher

10/15/2017
As the editor of Yes Means Yes! and host of the podcast Unscrewed, as well as the founder of the nonprofit Women, Action & the Media, Friedman has played a critical role in challenging sex-positive feminism means and how difficult it is to disentangle healthy sexuality from cultural practices that result in objectification and victim blaming. In her new book, Friedman employs tactics similar to the ones Andi Zeisler uses in We Were Feminists Once to marry theory, politics, activism, and pop culture in a way that is simultaneously conversational and polemical. For readers who share Friedman's take on sexuality, her use of the phrase "We the fauxpowered" will invoke a sense of shared experience. The term links together many of the pivotal concepts of this volume: the interlocking relationship between sex, contemporary politics, popular culture, and feminism. VERDICT While Friedman makes a convincing argument of the need for more intersectional feminism, some readers may find her language at times too polarizing to pay attention to the solid points she makes about double standards, especially as the relate to sexuality in conjunction and power.—Emily Bowles, Univ. of Wisconsin Coll. and Extension, Madison

Library Journal

2017-09-03
A feminist perspective on sexual power and its uses and abuses in America.Women's sexuality expert Friedman (What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety, 2011) believes women are in the midst of an era of "fauxpowerment" whereby "bright, candy-colored" notions of female sexual liberation, equality, and sexual power cloak the real reality of the "still mostly retrograde and misogynist status quo." In clear, concise language, she argues that the current state of American culture suffers from a sexual revolution that remains unfinished and is in dire need of an overhaul while economic, governmental, and technological forces falsely promote the advancements in the sexual empowerment and equalization of women. Supporting this claim are numerous profiles of change-makers who, through their individual and collective efforts, have fostered a culture of assistance and acceptance. They include a host of grass-roots pioneers who have dedicated their lives to defusing misogyny and sexual oppression and to reshaping public perception. Friedman chronicles her discussions with reproductive justice activist Loretta Ross, her volunteer work with a sexual research study at a Toronto university, and her questioning of Facebook's little-known policy on adult products and services. She also examines the arduous fight over abortion rights and profiles award-winning female-empowerment filmmakers. With a seasoned eye, Friedman scrutinizes the complex historical legacy of sexual dehumanization and the contemporary proliferation of the teenage hookup culture. All of these interviews and anecdotal material inform readers on the slowly changing attitudes toward American sexual culture for women, from a toxic environment built on humiliation, shame, and violence to one of equality and liberation. However, notes the author, there is a long road ahead. The text is lively, emboldening, and nonjudgmental, and Friedman provides tools and processes whereby readers can become involved in an equality movement aimed at "seizing your power from a system that doesn't want you to have it." A potent, convincing manifesto on how female sexual equality marches onward despite cultural roadblocks.

Kirkus Reviews

Narrating her own work, Jaclyn Friedman delivers an emotionally charged performance that explores contemporary sexual politics— specifically how “fauxpowerment” undermines female sexual power and what can be done to combat its pervasiveness. The author reveals that sexual expression is complicated and often comes at a high cost for women and girls. Consider the common practice of slut-shaming in which women and girls are judged harshly—and exclusively—for perceived deviations from expectations around their sexuality, including simply their appearance. Friedman's compelling examples and well-researched arguments are persuasive. However, her delivery is characterized by upspeak that is distracting and a timbre that is unpleasant. Some listeners may find that the uneven narration overshadows the provocative message, which would be truly unfortunate. A.S. © AudioFile 2018, Portland, Maine

FEBRUARY 2018 - AudioFile

Narrating her own work, Jaclyn Friedman delivers an emotionally charged performance that explores contemporary sexual politics— specifically how “fauxpowerment” undermines female sexual power and what can be done to combat its pervasiveness. The author reveals that sexual expression is complicated and often comes at a high cost for women and girls. Consider the common practice of slut-shaming in which women and girls are judged harshly—and exclusively—for perceived deviations from expectations around their sexuality, including simply their appearance. Friedman's compelling examples and well-researched arguments are persuasive. However, her delivery is characterized by upspeak that is distracting and a timbre that is unpleasant. Some listeners may find that the uneven narration overshadows the provocative message, which would be truly unfortunate. A.S. © AudioFile 2018, Portland, Maine

FEBRUARY 2018 - AudioFile