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You'd Better Not Die or I'll Kill You: A Caregiver's Survival Guide to Keeping You in Good Health and Good Spirits

You'd Better Not Die or I'll Kill You: A Caregiver's Survival Guide to Keeping You in Good Health and Good Spirits

by Jane Heller

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New York Times Bestselling Author: “Candid, informative, upbeat, and sometimes ribald . . . a useful book for patients and caregivers alike.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

Bestselling novelist Jane Heller thought she’d found her dream man—until he turned out to be a “frequent flier,” the term doctors and nurses use to refer to patients who land in the E.R. more often than the average person goes to Starbucks. Here, Jane shares her experiences of looking after her chronically ill husband with Nora Ephron–like wit, and offers practical guidance for handling it all without drowning.

With advice on staying healthy while caring for a loved one and learning to communicate with medical staff, plus wisdom from other caregivers and experts, this is a personal and invaluable tool kit that also manages to prompt laughter and inspire.

“Heller aims to offer a different perspective—the importance of dealing with one’s own emotions and needs in order to have the strength to provide care to others.” —TheWall Street Journal

“Writing with humor and a relaxed style, Heller has produced a valuable, virtual support group in book form.” —Library Journal

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781452126029
Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
Publication date: 12/14/2012
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 853,400
File size: 978 KB

About the Author

Jane Heller is the author of 13 novels. Jane lives in Santa Barbara, California, with her husband, Michael Forester.

Table of Contents

Introduction 8

Chapter 1 What Is a Caregiver Anyway? 19

Chapter 2 Navigating Past the Freak-Out 32

Chapter 3 Making Emergency Room Visits and Insanity Mutually Exclusive 49

Chapter 4 Doctors-Can't Live with 'Em, Can't Live Without 'Em 60

Chapter 5 How to Turn Even the Crankiest Nurses/Aides/Medical Personnel into Buddies 71

Chapter 6 When Loved Ones Take on a Different Personality and You Start Wishing They'd Disappear 80

Chapter 7 How to Wait Out Waiting Rooms 92

Chapter 8 The Hospital Room Etiquette Miss Manners Never Told Us About 97

Chapter 9 Who's the Boss of Me? 101

Chapter 10 Getting on the Same Page as that Sister Who Drives You Nuts (and Other Family Matters) 108

Chapter 11 Who Knew Friends Could Be So… Unfriendly? 117

Chapter 12 Does Working Mean You Don't Care or Does Caring Mean You Don't Work? 125

Chapter 13 The Home Health-Care Invasion 131

Chapter 14 Using the FWord, as in Facility 142

Chapter 15 Finding a Shoulder-or Ten-to Lean On 155

Chapter 16 "Caregiver Sleep" Doesn't Have to Be an Oxymoron 161

Chapter 17 The Great Escape-Taking a Mental Vacation 166

Chapter 18 Being a Crybaby Isn't Necessarily a Bad Thing 173

Chapter 19 Sometimes Laughter Isn't the Best Medicine-It's the Only Medicine 177

Chapter 20 Just Breathe. Or Meditate. Or Both 187

Chapter 21 Who Has Time to Cook a Healthy Meal? We Do 197

Chapter 22 The Exercise Conundrum 208

Chapter 23 Sex? Romance? Is Anybody Getting Any? 216

Chapter 24 When to See a Shrink 225

Chapter 25 "Spiritual Care" Isn't Necessarily Just for the Spiritual 234

Chapter 26 Getting Through the Goodbye 241

Chapter 27 Yes, There Are Silver Linings 257

Chapter 28 When Caregiver Becomes Caregivee 269

Chapter 29 Famous Last Words 281

Acknowledgments 288

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