Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World

by Cathy Cassani Adams LCSW

Overview

The host of the top ranked Zen Parenting podcast and mother of three reveals a calmer, more self-aware parenting approach for parents to effectively teach and support their children: say less, but listen more.

We can’t always plan for what’s next—that’s been made more and more clear in the past few years. The truth is that life is never predictable, especially as parents. What is possible is your unlimited capacity for compassion, and caring—for yourself and for your children. As you navigate the uncertainty with openness and humility, you find the clarity, connection and community that is Zen Parenting.
 
Using the seven chakras, therapist Cathy Cassani Adams discusses parenting issues such as school pressure, self-care, emotional intelligence, mental health, sexuality and gender, and more, while offering concrete examples and strategies to help you wake up to your life as a parent:
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Chakra One—The Right to Be: Establish your physical, emotional, and mental foundation
Chakra Two—The Right to Feel: Practice creativity and how to access your emotions
Chakra Three—The Right to Act: Establish a sense of self for yourself and your kids 
Chakra Four—The Right to Love and Be Loved: Experience openheartedness, empathy, and compassion
Chakra Five—The Right to Speak and Hear Truth: Discover genuine and meaningful communication
Chakra Six—The Right to See: Explore mindfulness, meditation, and your own intuition
Chakra Seven—The Right to Know: Connect to something greater than yourself
 
“This book is my new favorite guide for parenting, to be sure. But it's also a master class in a life well-lived.”
—Dr. John Duffy, author of Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety and The Available Parent

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780306925207
Publisher:	Grand Central Publishing
Publication date:	02/01/2022
Pages:	272
Product dimensions:	5.45(w) x 8.25(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Cathy Cassani Adams, LCSW, co-hosts the Zen Parenting Radio podcast and is co-founder of the annual Zen Parenting Conference. She is a social worker and former elementary school educator from a family of educators, and a yoga teacher who is a forever student when it comes to breathing and mindfulness. Cathy teaches in the Sociology/Criminology Department at Dominican University, and she lives outside of Chicago with her husband Todd and their three daughters.

Table of Contents

Prologue: What Is Zen Parenting? xv

Where It All Began xxiii

Introduction: Foundational Issues to Better Understand Ourselves, Our Kids, Our World 1

Emphasizing Dignity 1

Addressing Inequality 6

Discussing Race 9

Prioritizing Sex Education 16

Understanding Sexuality and Gender 22

Disrupting Gender Stereotypes and Norms 25

Valuing Mental Wellness 36

Using the Chakra System to Better Understand Ourselves, Our Kids, Our World 41

Why Chakras? 41

Set an Intention 44

Chakra 1 The Right to Be: Establishing Our Foundation 49

Body Foundation 49

Root to Rise 55

Physical and Emotional Safety 57

Survival and Connection 59

Reestablishing Our Roots 61

Chakra 2 The Right to Feel: Being Creative, Accessing Emotions, Experiencing Pleasure 67

Pleasure 67

Emotional Intelligence 72

Creativity and Play 79

Sexuality 83

Chakra 3 The Right to Act: Establishing Our Identity and Sense of Self 93

Autonomy and the Hero's Journey 93

Individuation 96

Self-Care 102

Energy 107

True and False Self 111

Chakra 4 The Right to Love and Be Loved: Loving Ourselves and Others 117

Openheartedness 117

Empathy 122

Self-Compassion 128

Breathing 135

Grief 141

Chakra 5 The Right to Speak and Hear Truth: Valuing Authentic Communication 151

Self-Expression 151

The Art of Communication 154

Words Are Things 161

Heard and Understood 164

Learning Differences 169

Chakra 6 The Right to See: Experiencing Our Senses and Intuition 177

Inner Knowing 177

Truth 182

Mindfulness 188

Meditation 192

Imagination 198

Chakra 7 The Right to Know: Connecting to Something Greater than Ourselves 205

Enlightenment 205

Interconnectivity 208

Sacred and Scared 212

Devotion 214

Conclusion 221

Acknowledgments 227

Appendix 229

Notes 235

Editorial Reviews

"Zen Parenting gives us the tools to focus on what is truly important as we raise our children. Be curious, accept life’s uncertainties, and have the courage to ask yourself hard questions so that you can be the parent you want to be for your child. In a world where parents too often feel unsure, judged or overwhelmed, Zen Parenting gives us a way forward filled with substance, and common sense wisdom. I think this is a wonderful book for any parent!"—Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabees, founder of Cultures of Dignity"

"There are few parenting books that hit the mark and this is one of them! This book will give you the real-time tools and awareness to foster a deep and meaningful connection with yourself and your children. A powerful addition to your library! Highly recommended!"—Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of The Conscious Parent and A Radical Awakening

"Zen Parenting is a big, beautiful, generous book. Through the intuitively elegant framework of the seven chakras, Cathy Adams offers her reader a wealth of meaningful guidance into one's inner self. She is a calm and gentle teacher, weaving engaging stories and expert advice into a deep and seamless tapestry of personal exploration and parenting wisdom. I learned something new on every page, and felt the peace of knowing I was in the safest, surest hands with this author and this book. Cathy integrates the work of experts in most every field imaginable here, but it's in the sharing of her own experiences that makes each paragraph ring with an absolute and certain truth. I encourage you to protect time to read it slowly, really take it in, and return to it often. This book is my new favorite guide for parenting, to be sure. But it's also a master class in a life well-lived. I love this book. It will become integral to my therapy practice, and my own life."—Dr. John Duffy, author of Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety and The Available Parent

"Zen Parenting is not a prescriptive parenting method, it's a guidebook to knowing yourself better so you can be the type of parent your kids need. You'll leave this book with the awareness necessary to disrupt old patterns and build relationships with your kids that will make you proud. It's a wholehearted approach to changing the future of our families for generations to come."—Gemma Hartley, author of Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward

"Cathy Adams is a gentle, inspiring guide for becoming a more tuned-in, respectful, and connected parent AND human. What I love most about Zen Parenting is Cathy's holistic approach to being present and truly showing up for ourselves and our families, no matter how messy, no matter how challenging. This book is a unique offering in the parenting space that focuses on our relationship with ourselves, which is, of course, where being a Zen parent has to begin."—Debbie Reber, founder, Tilt Parenting, author, Differently Wired

"Zen Parenting offers supportive and empathetic guidance that readers will recognize from the Zen Parenting podcast. Drawing from her own experiences with parenting, her mindfulness practice and her work as a therapist, Cathy Cassani Adams shows us a path to support and nurture our children by understanding ourselves and re-envisioning our daily parenting journey as a practice, not a destination. By diving into our own joys, fears, shame and longing, and being more observant and curious about our children, we can do a better job empathizing with and supporting our children as they unfold into the fullness of their identities."—Devorah Heitner, PhD, author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive and Survive in Their Digital World and founder of Raising Digital Natives

"I have known Cathy Adams for years, and what I admire most about her is how she infuses everything she does with generosity and care. She is as humble as she is wise. Zen Parenting is a beautifully written guide to the parental self-awareness that our kids deserve us to cultivate within ourselves. No matter where you are in your parenting journey, this book will help you bring gentleness and authenticity to yourself and your children."—Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, faculty, School of Education and Social Policy, Northwestern University; Licensed Clinical Psychologist, The Family Institute at Northwestern University; bestselling author, Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back; Host, Reimagining Love Podcast

"Zen Parenting takes parents on a journey of self-reflection, but also gives practical tools for how to use that reflection to enhance your parenting. This will be one of the books I recommend to my parents and families."—Mercedes Samudio, LCSW, author of Shame-Proof Parenting

"A sensible, beautiful book, Zen Parenting gives parents what we crave most: a reprieve from our near-constant angst and uncertainty. Readers will be comforted by Adams' relatable style, compassionate tone, and brilliant insights. This fresh take on ancient wisdom is so chock-full of fascinating research, I found myself pausing every few pages to text friends a new statistic or data point. A much needed reminder that good parenting is a practice, not an outcome, Zen Parenting readers are bound to feel more assured, purposeful, and confident even shortly after they begin reading."—Michelle Icard, author Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen

"Zen Parenting offers an integrated approach to living. And an integrated approach to parenting is, of course, the natural by-product. This book is nourishment for the individual who understands that there is very often a sweet spot between the paradoxes of life; not just in theory but as a lived in space. It is both rich and simple, practical and elevated, and I hope it makes it into the hands of many, many families."—Annie Burnside, author of Soul to Soul Parenting and From Role to Soul

From the Publisher