...And I Approve This Message

Having just told a cute female bartender that he wanted to come back in his second life as a bottle opener, so he can slide around in her back pocket, this narrator leaves her bar and smashes his car into a tree. He does indeed wake up as a bottle opener and finds himself hanging on a string tied to a hook in the ceiling of a Lawton, Oklahoma bar. The opener, realizing that he is now "a dead man", loses any fear of speaking what is on his mind. Since no one can hear him anyway, he immediate...