Carry Yourself Back to Me

( 3 )


Famed alt-country artist Annie Walsh has more than enough reason to sing her version of the blues, including a broken heart, a stalled career, and a troubled family. Annie seeks refuge from an upended love affair with her producer, Owen Pettybone, by sequestering herself at home with her old dog Detour, surrounded by a lush Florida tangelo grove. There, she spends her days furiously sanding down the house’s every veneer in a vain attempt at erasing the painful memory of the love she lost. Soon, however, this ...

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Famed alt-country artist Annie Walsh has more than enough reason to sing her version of the blues, including a broken heart, a stalled career, and a troubled family. Annie seeks refuge from an upended love affair with her producer, Owen Pettybone, by sequestering herself at home with her old dog Detour, surrounded by a lush Florida tangelo grove. There, she spends her days furiously sanding down the house’s every veneer in a vain attempt at erasing the painful memory of the love she lost. Soon, however, this quiet, small town existence—far from recording studios, ardent fans, and affairs of the heart—comes crashing down around her. A violent murder connected to her brother Calder threatens to tear her family apart and forces Annie to shore up her loyalties and uproot profound disappointments from her distant past. The evidence stacks against Calder, compounded by his lifelong affliction with Tourette syndrome that causes some in the community to cast aspersions on the soundness of his mind.

As the circumstances converge to challenge lifetime ties and forge unexpected new bonds, this soulful, stirring novel shifts its narrative from an imperiled and ever-changing present, where each hour brings an unforeseen and unwelcome piece of news, to the poignant childhood days of first allegiances and life-altering loss. Like a fine and forlorn love ballad, the gifted, conflicted Annie lulls the reader into a journey through love and loss that mines the mysterious, and, at times, paradoxical rhythms of the human heart. As vibrant as Annie's treasured tangelo grove, Carry Yourself Back to Me cultivates an always tender, sometimes tart, portrait of one family’s regret and redemption. Inflected with melancholy and redeemed by melody, this deeply affecting novel is certain to strike a resonant chord with music fans and lovers of fine fiction everywhere.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
In her first literary novel, Reed (who writes suspense fiction under the penname Audrey Braun) triumphs with this thoughtful, graceful story of singer/songwriter Annie Walsh. Annie has recently been abandoned by Owen, her cherished lover, and taken refuge at her home in Florida. In addition to heartbreak, Annie must also contend with the troubles of her brother, Calder, who has been accused of a crime of passion. There is a lovely passage on snow, new to Annie, as well as moving account of her first attempt to sing since her world crashed. In a small bar on the eve of Christmas Eve, "she sings about the evening sky going dark, and the sound of her voice is warm and thick and bigger than the room. She sings about a tingle in her bones." The novel's tragedies are deftly drawn, and never maudlin. Readers will enjoy the novel's engaging characters, intricate plot, and beautifully rendered sense of place. (Sept.)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780547848020
  • Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
  • Publication date: 1/3/2012
  • Pages: 320
  • Sales rank: 985,360
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.30 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Deborah Reed comes from a long line of storytellers and musicians, and finds creative inspiration in the composition of alt-country, folk, and homespun goods. She currently resides in the Pacific Northwest, where she also writes suspense fiction under the name of Audrey Braun.
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Read an Excerpt

Annie lifts her father's old binoculars off the porch. Out past the cornfield a lime-colored pickup idles in the fog of Mrs. Lanie's tangelo grove next door. The driver's side hangs open, but no one is behind the wheel. Clutter juts from the truck bed, vapor rises from the tailpipe. Annie knows most of Mrs. Lanie's pickers, but she doesn't know this truck.
 A ridiculous thought occurs to her. Owen's come back. He's sneaking through the grove and coming around the back of the house to surprise her. He'll cup her eyes from behind and say something stupid like, “Guess who needs glasses?” Or “Who turned out the lights?”
 It's early. She hasn't brushed her teeth or concealed her dark circles. She hasn't washed her hair or even pulled it back. The ropey ends catch on her mouth as she sips her coffee. She scans the grove for the shape of a person stealing tangelos. There's no one she can see.
 The last thing Annie wants to do is think about Owen. But it's like one foot tumbling over a slippery edge of earth the way she unexpectedly falls again and again into the same opening. Her thoughts have become flimsy, sentimental, throwaway songs. Nursery rhymes. Where oh where have you gone?
 Steam rises to her lashes from the coffee stalled at her lips. She lowers the cup and presses its warmth into her chest, into the pocket of chilled bare skin above the zipper of her fleece. It's not as if their five years together were perfect. They were riddled with rough patches, cruel things slipping from their mouths. She watches the fog shift over the field and remembers all those brassy, merciless words. No doubt she'd use them again, given the chance.
 The problem is the nights she couldn't sleep for all the pleasure rushing through her. The malty scent of his skin, like freshly cut grain, something meant to be eaten. The feel of his cuff brushing her wrist made her greedy for sex and food and music to be played even louder. She'd spent years floundering in smoky, mediocre venues hoping for a crowd to show, and suddenly, here was her muse, her good luck charm, making her old hopes seem puny, amateurish in comparison to what she had with him.
 She can't forget this is the porch where most of the songs for Gull on a Steeple were written. Detour the same old dog that howled at the harmonica. These Adirondack chairs the ones whose red paint Annie and Owen wore away from so much use. Annie circles the rings of coffee and wine with her finger, the oily bug spray sealed into the arms like evidence of mornings, evenings, late nights spent trying to get it right. He made an honest-to-God singer-songwriter out of her. She made a sought-after music producer out of him. Rolling Stone declared Gull on a Steeple “An instant classic filled with vivid tales of love and loss without the slightest hint of sentimentality.” Depression magazine claimed, “Annie Walsh's painful, clear-eyed, storied songs are woven with a voice reminiscent of the great Patsy Cline, Lucinda Williams, and Aimee Mann, all spun into one.” The comparisons flattered her for the first few minutes, but after that and ever since she's done nothing but worry about measuring up. Even when Entertainment Weekly came along and knocked her down to something of a Disney production, “A sprightly, nearly elfin frame that charms its way across the stage and into your heart.”
 Now it's hard to even listen to music, let alone play it.
 Cold fog quiets the birds and shifts like hot steam above Lake Winsor to the east. Minutes earlier hailstones sliced past Annie's bedroom window and skipped off the ground like pearls on concrete, escaping in all directions. The timer on the coffee pot had already gone off, and Annie dressed quickly in a fleece and jeans, her red rubber boots with the knobby black soles. She emerged onto the porch as if from a cave, coffee sloshing down her wrist, Detour stumbling at her heels the way old dogs do, scared old dogs, with no direction. Annie wanted the hail to prick her skin, to shake loose the stubborn reveries pinned behind her eyes. But in the time it took to pour coffee, the hail had already moved on.
 She flips on the small radio she keeps on the porch. It's set to a station she found by accident at the end of the dial, thinking she was turning up the news. It runs crackly old serials where salesmen and seamstresses make their way through hard times-characters who do things that don't always make sense. But then you hear the backstory the next day, something to do with an aunt's dying wish, or an orphan on the side of the road whose true identity is just becoming clear. Today it's a butcher in New York and a young boy, his nephew, the son of a brother the man hates. He seems to love the boy in spite of this. “You remind me of me at your age,” the butcher says. The accents are a little overplayed.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 3 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Posted December 27, 2013

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    The sort of book you remember and go back to. Beautiful.

    The sort of book you remember and go back to. Beautiful.

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  • Posted January 13, 2012

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    Every page a pleasure


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  • Posted September 16, 2011

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    I Also Recommend:

    Extremely Talented Author

    Song writer and performer Annie Walsh has plenty of material in her everyday life, the songs should just be pouring out of her. Her lover has left her for another woman, her family is a mess and her career is going nowhere fast, but the lyrics are not flowing. Annie escapes into her home on the edge of a lush Florida tangelo grove with her dog, Detour, trying to forget about the love she has lost to another. She spends her days picking fruit and sanding every piece of wood in her home down to the bare grain. But thoughts of Owen are forever on her mind.

    All of the sudden her solitary life is completely disrupted when he brother because the prime suspect in a horrendous murder. Her life is turned upside down as she has to deal with issues from her past, trying to cope in the present and not even thinking about the future.

    My Thoughts
    I enjoyed Carry Yourself Back to Me. This author is extremely talented, not only is the main character a song writer but Deborah Reed has written the story is such a way that it flows much the same way a song does. Whether she is describing a sunrise or her character's turmoil it has a melodic feeling and rhythm. We travel back and forth in time with Annie revealing secrets, thoughts, fears and the writing seems effortless. The only thing I would have changed about this book was I would have completely cut the last chapter. After the wonderfully written story it would have been nice for a change to be left wondering a little.

    This author also writes suspense fiction under the name Audrey Braun. I reviewed her book A Small Fortune back in July and I loved it so much I gave it fifteen stars, well I would have if I could. No matter what name she writes under this author is a gifted storyteller with a bright future. I anxiously await more of her work.

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from MindBuck Media. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Receiving a complimentary copy in no way reflected my review of this book. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

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