6 Authors We Wish We Were Friends With (and Why)

David Sedaris
Who in their right mind would not want to be best buds with the humorist king of the past tweny-odd years? I challenge you to read Me Talk Pretty One Day and then say you don’t want to go back in time and be David’s grade-school comrade. Sedaris’ razor-wire wit would be just the thing you needed if, say, you wanted to bring a friend along to the DMV or for a colonoscopy. The best friends, after all, are the ones who can make you chuckle through the darkest of times.

Maya Angelou
The world shed a collective tear last year when one of the most iconic writers of the 20th century passed away. More than simply a writer of novels, Maya Angelou created work spanning poetry, dance, stage and screen acting, and more. When you heard her recite a verse, you could vividly imagine having a glass of sweet tea with her on a wraparound porch somewhere while she regaled you with tales about her life. It’s hard to imagine anyone being better than she would at doing the things our friends do: supporting us, reminding us of our own power, and inspiring us to be better people.

Chuck Palahniuk
Admit it: you want to get to know Chuck Palahniuk. Even though he writes about the darkest, most disturbing, most depraved corners of the human psyche, you still want to hang out with him. He’s the kid your parents warned you about. Cue your dad like, “Well, kiddo, Chuck seems nice, but maybe a little…odd. Why don’t you hang out with the nice kids from your soccer team a little more?” Yeah, whatever, Dad. Me and Chuck are gonna go experiment with questionably legal fireworks and listen to punk rock and maybe poke a hornets’ nest with a stick—we’ll catch you on the flip.

Cynthia Heimel
You know that friend you call after a breakup? The one who’ll show up in 20 minutes flat with a bottle of wine and/or a half-gallon of rocky road and/or every season of your favorite show? You know, the one who says, “Forget that jerk. I have a cute cousin you need to meet anyway.” That friend is Cynthia Heimel, only Cynthia Heimel wrote the book. I mean, she literally wrote a book about, among other things, how to get over a breakup. Several, actually. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to be friends with a person who wrote a book called Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I’m Kissing You Goodbye?

Elmore Leonard
Everybody needs a cool friend. A friend who is super laid-back and doesn’t take himself too seriously, but who can also make you laugh unexpectedly. This friend never feels pressure to talk—he’s reserved and comfortable in his own skin, content to let others chatter on until, bam! Nonchalantly, he slips in the perfect comment. You can never best him in an argument, because he’s always ready with a witty comeback and a sly wink. He is, simply, your coolest friend, and his name is Elmore Leonard. He’s so cool he wrote Be Cool. This is a person you need on your team. You are cooler already, simply for having thought about being his friend.

Roxane Gay
Roxane Gay has written a couple of excellently heartrending novels, but what really makes her seem like an amazing person to hang out with is her 2014 essay collection Bad Feminist. In this book, Gay perfectly skewers the most absurd contradictions in our culture, all the while admitting she herself is complicit in the problem. She makes a point of letting the reader know she’s commonfolk just like the rest of us, not above bad reality TV or music with unsavory messages. She even cops to being a grown woman who likes Sweet Valley High. Also, she’s a championship Scrabble player who goes for blood with her triple word scores. A friend who’s able to give constructive criticism while being open about her own flaws? Yes, please. Just don’t invite her over for a friendly game of Scrabble.