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CHAPTER 1
BORN INTO EVIL
MALACHI 1:8 "And if ye offer the blind for sacrifice, is it not evil?"
Shining bright from heaven, God sent his anointing to Lilith Darkmore on February 16, 1955 at Brookdale Hospital, exposing her to a world underneath that was filled with the darkness of Satan. This spiritual warfare would challenge her faith and destiny. Even though Lilith was born out of wedlock and into adultery, her future was planned well before the day of her birth. God plans are for the best, but the trials can be at its worst. Therefore, Lilith struggles overrode her peace, happiness, love, and her hope.
Lilith's life began with a disruption of evil, and with the absence of her parents, she had nothing else to hold on to but her faith. Accordingly, her faith grew stronger one hardship after another. Nevertheless, it impacted her mentally and physically as she searched for understanding regarding her personal burdens.
Lilith had faced some rough times and never had a normal childhood, given that she was less fortunate than other kids, and was forced to appreciate what she had. However, appreciation didn't get her far in her social life. School became her worst nightmare; she was getting bullied for her worn down clothes, messy hair, and the red blemishes on her face due to eczema. Ultimately, it led to her insecurities since her beauty was hiding underneath her abnormalities. That was indeed troubling, but she was more disturbed about not having any love or support from either parent.
Starting with Lilith's mother Vivian, who was an alcoholic. She never stayed sober enough to build that mental connection, and that had a huge impact on her kids' lives, especially Lilith considering Vivian always reminded her of how much she was a disgrace to her life. She despised Lilith from day one; for that reason, she treated her differently from the rest of the kids because she depraved her for the mistake that she made, which was getting pregnant with Lilith. She blamed Lilith for everything that wasn't right, but showed favor to her other children. This absence of love and affection in Lilith's life, left her full of gloom. Resultantly, Lilith had generated a great deal of hostility towards Vivian since she was tired of being treated like an outcast.
Then there was her father, who was unknown, which a couple of men could've been a possibility, for Vivian was known for her indiscriminating activities. That may have been the case, but the man in question didn't want to own up to his mistake. Unknowingly, he had a family of his own and didn't want to breakup his happy home. With no strings attached, he left Vivian alone, which caused Lilith to feel disowned by both parents. Lilith got discouraged, and no one seemed to care, which was tearing her apart. In addition to having her aching heart loss of love, and a strong desire for stability, she was headed down a path full of wrong choices.
To begin with, Lilith was the oldest out of her two sisters Martha, Elaine, and their younger brother Roy; they also had a mentally ill older brother name Ronald. That's why she had to become mature very quickly to perform her mother's responsibilities and do most of the nurturing. Under those circumstances, she had to learn how to live with ability, love with security, and laugh with affection. It was hard to do, especially when she didn't obtain any of those pleasures from anyone else. Not to mention, she was a child herself. That's what made her lost and unknowledgeable about life. In other words, my mother was born into darkness, and the burning fire had fogged her path of light and caused her to feel vulnerable. Her life had barely started, but she was ready for it to end.
Secondly, it was perceived that there was much jealously towards Lilith, for the reason that she looked different. She was light skinned, petite, gorgeous with very fine long hair, whereas her siblings looked totally the opposite with their dark-skinned and very shapely bodies. Therefore, the bitterness had caused them to team up against Lilith, which generated many arguments. For example, they consistently called her a mixed breed and teased her about the absence of her father. What was more troubling was Vivian didn't do anything to prevent the arguments; she enjoyed seeing Lilith unhappy. As Lilith cried through her painful soul, Vivian laughed her heart out.
The sad part about it was that they were telling the truth; Lilith's father was like a ghost, for Lilith never saw and knew very little about him. In fact, out of her entire life, she only met him once; and it wasn't by choice, it was by accident. One day, she and a friend were walking past a corner store, and an unknown but resembling man approached her. He asked, "Is Vivian Darkmore your mother?" She replied, "Yes!" He stared at her for a minute and told her, "I am your father!" Then he gave her 20 cents. That was the happiest day of Lilith's life as she skipped in the store and spent it all. Then she came out hoping to see him again, but he was gone with the wind; he vanished just like a ghost. That's when reality hit her, and she realized that there was not any hope for her ever having a father or mother because either direction she went deception had always taken place.
Meanwhile, she was still excited to go spread the news, but Vivian paid her no attention as she was absorbing in her usual. In fact, she started cursing Lilith out in her slurring words, "Get your frail ass out my face. You don't have a father. Didn't I tell you he doesn't want you? Hell, I don't want you either!" Then the other sisters began to laugh and tease her, which made Lilith feel like a fool.
Due to Vivian's bitterness and addiction, she couldn't control nor did she really care about what was going on in her household. Under those circumstances, Lilith was getting scuzzed up by her mother's boyfriend for years. Every night was a dream that always ended up like a nightmare on Elm Street. As she laid over the bed in complete silence and darkness, Lilith eventually dozed off. Then minutes later, her body was unable to move. Feeling trapped, vulnerable, and confused, she panicked. Her teeth were chattering, but words wouldn't come out, and her smothered screams weren't loud enough. As she helplessly laid there submerging in her tears, the crippled boogeyman started slowly whispering frightening words in her ear. She tried to tune him out, but the ethanol reeking from his breath was inflaming her nose. So, she just painfully laid there until the nightmare was over.
When Lilith reached puberty, she was no longer frightened. Instead, she was resentful from all the secrets and backed-up unhappiness. Therefrom, she wasn't afraid to fight back when the boogeyman tried to attack her in the bathroom. She started kicking, punching, and biting him until he got off her. She knew that she had to start protecting herself; no one else was going to do it for her. From that day forward, he left her alone, but she remained discreet, knowing she still had to live with the boogeyman, which caused many nightmares of his tarnished eyes, his overpowering bad breath, and his rough hands touching her. In other words, silence was haunting her, for her voice had not yet exposed him.
Three years had passed by, and she still was living a lie because she had not yet revealed the boogeyman for what he did to her. Meanwhile, Vivian was inattentive about her daughter, being that she was more distracted by her addiction. Therefore, the sadness she saw in Lilith's eyes reflected the darkness in hers, which left her uncaring. So, Lilith blamed Vivian for every misfortune she had to face.
To explain, Lilith was 14, but freely ran the streets without any rules attached. She hung out in places where teens didn't belong. In behalf of her homegirls being popular in those areas, the older crowd gave them all a pass. Then one thing led to another, and the humiliation happened fast. Unluckily, Lilith got raped again, but not by the boogeyman; that time, it was by a total stranger. What was grimy about the overall situation was that her so-called friends set it all up. Lilith was new to the group, and she was perceived as the weakest link. Thereafter, they gave Lilith a few spiked drinks that led to her blackout. When she woke up, a guy was on top of her, which caused her to have flashbacks of the boogeyman. She instantly flipped out while screaming for help. Everyone knew what was going on, but they ignored her; basically, they were used to that sexual behavior going on there.
Eventually, she managed to get away. Then she quickly ran out half naked, and staggered all the way home. Vivian did not acknowledge that something had gone wrong, and she did not have an inch of compassion for her daughter who had a look of terror on her face. A month later, Lilith began experiencing morning sickness, and she noticed she had not come on her menstruation. The fear of being pregnant forced her to tell Vivian everything that happened. Although, Vivian showed no concern, she still had the look of shame on her face.
Thereafter, Vivian made a few calls to help resolve Lilith's issue. Instead of taking her to a professional doctor, she got Lilith a bootleg pill that made her miscarry at home. The pain was excruciating; her heavy flow of blood was clotted. She spent most of her time lying in bed weak, depressed, and lackadaisical. She did not know what she was going to do, or if she was going to make it through the night. She just laid there crying and praying, hoping she would be alright. Then a couple of weeks later, the bleeding just stopped, and she was almost at peace. However, her mind was still at war, for the truth could only set her conscience free.
Due to Lilith thinking she was in the wrong, she was afraid to come forth about the boogeyman for all those years. Aware of the fact that she couldn't shake it off, she knew it was time to do something about it. Conclusively, she confided in Vivian with fear and hope that it would be the end of the boogeyman. With sadness, Lilith looked Vivian in the eyes while tears were falling and said, "That wasn't my first time being raped ... because your man has been doing it for quite a while." Then Vivian said in her groggy voice, "You are a liar, you're stupid, ruined, and I don't believe you. Get out my fucking face ... BITCH, you are a disgrace to me, and I hate you!" Lilith stood there dismayed. She wondered why Vivian didn't bother to confront the boogeyman before she discredited her and considered her story untrue. What really was discouraging was that her siblings didn't back her up, knowing they witnessed those ireful nights she cried out when he came in and out of the room. They also held her and asked, "If she was okay?" To her disappointment, neither of them spoke up when she needed them the most, so she had no choice but to leave home.
Lilith left with the little nothing she had along with a broken heart. The sad part about it was Vivian knew how bad the streets of New York was, and she didn't try to stop her teenage daughter from leaving, knowing Lilith didn't have anyone or anywhere to go to. Most definitely this was hurtful, thoughtless, and cruel to do to your very own child.
Lilith didn't know why her sweltering, reeking, vertical smile was drooling discolored discharge and went weeks without seeing a doctor. Also, she was homeless and underage, so she couldn't do it on her own anyway. She then confided in an older lady name Diane, who was a complete stranger. Still, the lady helped her get the treatment she needed, fed her, and then gave her a place to stay. After that, Diane started using her like a slave. She had Lilith cleaning her dirty ass apartment, running back and forth to the store, and catering to her and her company. When Lilith didn't do everything she asked, Diane made her feel like "A Nobody" in front of everybody. "I'm the one who's helping you out. You have no other place to go ... if you did, then you wouldn't be here. You're nothing without me!" Diane always said, until Lilith got fed up with the disrespect and left.
Shortly after, Lilith began to follow Vivian's footsteps. She started drowning her liver with all types of thirst quenchers. She was talking to, crying with, and rubbing on the pint bottles due to her not having anyone else to confide in; also, it eased her pain. Well, that's what she thought at the time. Instead, it made her more stressed and unstable. She was moving from place to place; she carried herself inappropriately to get things she needed, and kept getting physically and mentally abused, which caused her to feel burnt out immediately. She eventually started to realize that everyone who acted like they cared really didn't. For their good deeds wasn't for her, it was to please their own personal needs.
Considering Lilith had no other options, she reached out to one of her childhood friends name Latoya for help and shelter. Latoya then introduced Lilith to her brother Damien. The first time they met their connection was full of affection. He gave her all the attention by disregarding everything that mattered. His security had so much power that it made her feel less worried or endangered. Also, his touch was very gentle, making it harder for her to resist him, which led to her getting pregnant at the age of 15. Then at 16, they got married at the justice of peace. Even with everything happening so suddenly, Lilith felt loved and wanted for the first time. He wined and dined her, and he always expressed his deepest feelings. He had the best choice of words, which kept Lilith's heart melting and made her feel like she was the special one. Moreover, he gave her hope, and sold her dreams. She thought that he would give her the stability she needed. Because Lilith never had love in her life, she was easily influenced by her perfect man in disguise, especially since he was many years older and was hiding under tailor made suits, ties, and fancy briefcases. But in due time, she would see what an evil man he could be.
Soon after, Lilith was introduced to her In-laws. They gave her the first impression of disapproval. There were no smiles, evil eyes, and limited words, which made her feel uncomfortable. They were subjective towards Lilith before they got to know her; actually, they felt that anyone who was involved with their son emotionally had to be nothing but trouble, for he exhaled adversity. Therefore, Lilith was treated like an outcast without knowing the real reason behind it.
Consequently, Lilith never got the hospitality or homely reaction when she visited, and she was unexceptionally getting brushed off. However, Lilith continued to be cordial when they were rude, for she thought that was what a wife supposed to do. So, every time Damien made his appearance, she did too.
Each visit to her In-laws became more intense, and Lilith began to feel the presence of many evil spirits. From the looks of it, her in-laws' ritual was the practice of witchcraft. Their house was enclosed by darkness but lit up from spiritual glass candles. They also had an isolated room with all types of herbal oils, special made mojo bags, and weird dolls, which made Lilith believed that voodoo was involved. Suddenly, it dawned on her that witchcraft might've been what was attacking her every time she entered her in-law's house, for she would immediately feel the heat of fire, which gave her skin a burning sensation and had her face blushed the entire visit. Also, her heart stayed racing, she had dizzy spells, and a loss of energy. After she stepped foot out their door, everything was back to normal. Lilith was frightened and felt unsafe, but she didn't have the courage to tell Damien, thinking he wouldn't believe her. Despite everything, time after time, Lilith dealt with the attacks.
There wasn't a good reason to dislike Lilith personally, but Damien's misdeeds would introduce her to many enemies. For Damien was conniving, and a deceitful liar. He secretly conspired to cause misery and unpredictably shift people's lives. He portrayed himself as this generous, devoted, and compassionate man; but he was a crooked, mendacious, evil monster. Lilith had no idea what she had gotten herself into, but it would be very challenging and have a huge impact on her life since Damien had a twisted mind from the start. Resulting from Lilith being blinded by love, she ignored all signs, even when she knew certain things weren't adding up about Damien.
As I previously stated, Lilith was always judged by her appearance instead of the goodness within her heart. Moreover, she never was the type to fit in. She kept trying so hard to get accepted, but it just made room for her to keep getting neglected. For instance, Lilith thought by her having a child would change things, and it did, but just for a little bit. For the most part, the in-laws gave them a place to stay through her pregnancy. Then 2 months after Lashaylah was born, Mrs. Oma had put them out after she found out Damien lied about paying his part of the bills, which was extremely backed up. Reality struck Lilith, and she felt furious and despaired that she didn't have a backup plan, especially when she had nowhere to go with her baby.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "9 Sisters Cursed Since Birth"
by .
Copyright © 2018 NA' VEAH ROSE.
Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
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