The "Poor Me" Manual: Perfecting Self Pity-My Own Story

This book begins with the following author's note:

"One crisp sunny morning I was surprised to find a package left at my front door containing this book in manuscript form. Its author included a note saying that his last name was Lewis, that he had seen a book of mine, and that he had decided to adopt my name as his own. In addition, he expected me to publish his (our) book and that the cover should be "nice." I have tried to do as requested."

What follows this note is a rollicking fictional ...