ADHD in the Young Child: Driven to Redirection: A Guide for Parents and Teachers of Young Children with ADHD
220
ADHD in the Young Child: Driven to Redirection: A Guide for Parents and Teachers of Young Children with ADHD
220eBook
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Overview
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781886941878 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Specialty Press/A.D.D. Warehouse |
| Publication date: | 10/01/1999 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 220 |
| File size: | 5 MB |
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ADHD in the Young Child: Driven to Redirection
A Book for Parents and Teachers
By Cathy L. Reimers, Bruce A. Brunger
Specialty Press, Inc.
Copyright © 1999 Cathy L. Reimers, Ph.D. Bruce A. BrungerAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-886941-87-8
CHAPTER 1
A Day in the Life of Young Children with ADHD
Joey:
The On-Again, Off-Again Child
It is 4:30 a.m. Joey, a 5-year-old, bounds out of bed and runs noisily to his parents bedroom as he does every morning. No matter how early or how late Joey went to bed the night before, he always wakes up at 4:30 a.m. Joey's parents, Alan and Lisa, often joke that they never need an alarm clock in the house. Alan and Lisa are still sleeping as Joey bursts through the door and pounces on their bed like a cannonball, trying to snuggle in between the twisted maze of blankets, sheets, arms, and legs. With his brown hair disheveled from tossing and turning in his own bed the previous night, Joey sports a mischievous, impish grin. Joey simply cannot lay still. He wiggles, giggles, pokes his parents in their ears, and does his best to wake them up.
Alan and Lisa, rudely awakened from their blissful sleep, try feebly to negotiate a peaceful truce with Joey, but it is no use. Joey isn't taking prisoners. The only way Joey is going to leave his parents' bedroom is together with them. Alan and Lisa will either trudge along half-awake to get Joey's breakfast ready, or storm after Joey to catch him and send him to the corner for waking them up so early.
Joey takes forever getting dressed before having his breakfast. He is always distracted by a toy, a bird singing outside his bedroom window, a spider on the wall, or any other little thing that draws his attention from the task at hand. After waiting in vain for nearly 15 minutes for Joey to get dressed, Alan and Lisa decide not to wait for him anymore and start breakfast without him.
Joey gets upset for being left out. He is certain they are eating some yummy pastry or other sweets without him. He starts whining and throws a tantrum, still in his underwear. Alan and Lisa try their best to ignore Joey's protests, but Joey escalates things by taking his sideshow from his bedroom to the dining table. At five years of age, Joey is already an expert at pushing his parents' buttons. In no time at all, Joey manages to frustrate his parents, spoiling breakfast for everyone. Alan can't take it any longer, and angrily marches Joey back to his room and orders him to get dressed. The classic power struggle begins, as it has every day since Joey could talk.
"No!" Joey screams, as Alan points to the clothes which Joey should have put on, now strewn all around the room. "I don't want to!" Alan can feel his temper boiling, but he tries to be firm. "Get dressed right now. I mean it! "
"Noooooo!" Joey shrieks back, sticking out his tongue at his father for added emphasis. Alan then orders Joey to go take some time out in the corner. Joey doesn't budge, still protesting. Alan has to pick him up off the floor, kicking, screaming, and scratching, and hauls Joey to the other side of the house to "the corner," plopping him down with an air of triumphant finality. In Alan's mind, he has won the contest, but Joey is far from feeling beaten. Alan turns his back to walk away and is blistered by a blood-curdling scream from Joey, who angrily protests being sent to the corner. Joey throws a pillow at his dad, kicks the walls, and blows loud raspberries at his father, derisively yelling after him, "I don't like you! Hah! "
Alan turns and walks toward Joey, not willing to be outdone. "All right young man, you asked for it. I'm adding 5 more minutes on the time-out clock for that!" Joey screams even louder, as Alan shuts the door on the tirade and returns red-faced to the breakfast table.
It has been the same routine, every morning, for the last two years.
Strangely enough, after "doing his time" in the corner, Joey emerges more calm, cool, and collected. He gets dressed, eats his breakfast almost without incident and gets ready to go to preschool with his mother.
Both father and son keep their distance from each other for the rest of the morning, both feeling that something is wrong, both feeling hurt, but unwilling to face each other. Joey quietly hops in the car with his mom, and heads for school, alone in his thoughts.
Arriving at the preschool, Joey hangs up his coat, and sits glumly in the circle with the rest of his classmates. The vacuous expression on his face catches the attention of his teacher, Ms. Reynoso, who cheerfully tries to involve Joey in the class discussion. Joey almost seems embarrassed by the attention from his teacher and classmates, and becomes less social at first, then relaxes, and later joins in with the songs and other circle activities.
Despite the rough start to his day at home, Joey has a good day at school. Joey's behavior seems like any other normal kid in class. He happily goes from one activity to another, hangs out with a couple of buddies and generally stays out of trouble. Any trace of the defiance and stubbornness he displayed at home is completely absent.
The only dark cloud in an otherwise sunny day at school is when Joey impulsively decides to demolish a classmate's tower, which is made of building blocks. He has no real reason for doing it, other than an urge to see how the blocks would fall. Joey's action starts a fight, which results in Joey being sent to take some time out in a chair. Again, Joey doesn't go quietly. He screams, kicks the chair, and throws it across the floor. Ms. Reynoso quietly responds by bringing the chair back and has Joey sit in it for a few minutes.
When Lisa comes to pick up Joey at the end of the school day, he bounces up to her, proudly waving some hastily-drawn, gloomy pictures that he made in class. "I had a good day at school today, Mommy!" says Joey, obviously pleased with himself. His pictures are all drawn in dismal colors, all featuring angry or sad-faced characters in fighting poses and he shows them off proudly. He is a chatterbox of excitement during the ride home, talking about his school day. However, Joey grows progressively quieter as they get closer to home.
Joey has a pleasant afternoon at home, playing nicely with his little brother and sister. When Alan arrives home later, Joey rushes up to him to proudly show his gloomy pictures. Alan tries not to show his disappointment at the pictures, and even helps Joey tape them up on the wall in his bedroom.
Alan is still feeling remorseful about the stand-off with Joey earlier that day. He tries to avoid anything that might turn into another argument or power struggle. Lisa tells Alan about Joey's good behavior throughout the day and reminds Alan to "catch Joey doing good." Alan smiles to himself and wonders how he can "catch Joey doing good" when he always seems to be getting into trouble.
At dinnertime, Joey starts to fidget. He touches his food with the back of his hand, sticks rice up his nose, and blows bubbles in his milk. Lisa and Alan make repeated requests for Joey to mind his table manners. Then Joey starts making silly noises at the table, rolling his eyes, sticking food out on his tongue, and lying down on his chair.
This sets Alan off again. "Joey, knock it off, will you? How many times do we have to tell you?" Joey is getting giddy at this point and won't settle down.
Alan has had enough. Without a word, Alan picks up Joey and marches to Joey's room. This time, Joey isn't screaming or yelling. He continues to make silly noises in his room while his parents finish dinner.
After dinner, the family settles down to watch a children's video together. Alan watches the TV, but his mind is elsewhere. He is anxious and agitated. After a while, Alan goes to the bathroom, closes the door, and looks hard at himself in the mirror. "My God, why is Joey always acting like this?" Alan says to himself as he puts on some shaving cream. "Why does everything have to be such a knock-down, drag-out power-struggle with that kid?"
And then, suddenly, everything breaks down.
Alan, usually a very self-controlled man, feels powerless as waves of anger and helplessness wash over him. His arms start to quiver, then his lips, then his knees weaken.
Shakily, he grabs hold of the edge of the bathroom sink, still fixing his stare into the mirror, eye-to-eye with himself. Tears pour down his face, streaming through the shaving cream.
Alan comes face-to-face with mixed emotions that he has repressed until now, a confirmation of something ugly and terrifying that has lurked in the back of his mind for the last three years: He doesn't like, indeed, almost hates, his son Joey.
Before he knows it, Alan hears himself sobbing, quietly at first, then it all gushes out — a deep, visceral cry that wracks his whole frame. His whole body shaking, Alan hangs his head over the bathroom sink. The shaving cream drips off his face into the basin, mixed with tears and great drops of sweat, as Alan's cries rip from his throat.
Alan's mind is racing. "My God, I hate Joey ... I really HATE him! But why? He's my son! I shouldn't be feeling like this! But I can't take this anymore ... why does everything have to be such a struggle with him? Why can't he just obey and be a good kid? God, I can't stand myself for feeling like this! What am I gonna do?"
Out in the living room, Lisa thought something terrible had happened when she heard Alan's first groan erupt from the bathroom. She ran over to the bathroom, and peeked inside, only to find her husband hunched over the sink, speechless. This is a side of Alan she has never seen in their 10 years of marriage and it frightens her.
"Are you all right, honey?" she asks nervously. Alan, shaking his head, can only muster a feeble wave to her, indicating that he wants to be left alone. By now, Joey, his four-year-old little brother, and 16-month-old little sister had run up to the bathroom door. "Mommy, why is daddy crying?" they ask innocently.
Embarrassed, Alan is still unable to talk through gushing tears. Lisa closes the door, scoots the children off to bed, and leaves Alan alone to exorcise his anguish. It takes Alan almost a half-hour to cry himself out.
Later, Alan and Lisa turn in for the night. Without a word, Lisa reaches over to give Alan a reassuring hug. However, Alan can only lay on his back, wide awake, staring helplessly at the ceiling, tired of the daily struggle, wondering how he could harbor such terrible feelings toward his son.
Ricky:
The Severely Afflicted Child
Joyce, a single mother, is awakened early one morning by a racket coming from the kitchen. "It must be Ricky. I wonder what he is into now." she says to herself, with a weary smile on her face.
She gathers her robe and feels around the pockets for a lighter and a cigarette as she makes her way to the kitchen. She almost dreads looking into the kitchen, wondering what new surprise awaits her. She finds Ricky, her four-year-old, sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, happily engaged in a "cooking" project of his own making.
While his mother slept, Ricky had succeeded in climbing onto the kitchen counters, pulling out flour, sugar, baking soda, shortening and a bottle of vinegar from the cupboards, and was mixing them all together with some pretty green-colored dishwashing soap. Pots and pans were all over the floor, along with various cooking utensils. Ricky must have been at it for nearly a half hour. He was just about to plug in the hand-held beater when Joyce entered the kitchen.
Aghast at the sight, all that Joyce could blurt out was "Ricky!" Ricky paid no attention to his mother. He was too engrossed in his project. Joyce rushed over and yanked the electric beater from Ricky's sticky hands.
Joyce sighed at the mess. Ricky yelled for the return of the beater, tugging at his mom's robe, then kicked her shin. Joyce let out a curse at the pain in her leg and chased Ricky out of the kitchen. It was a typical start to another day with Ricky.
Joyce knew that something was wrong with Ricky ever since he was a baby. He never cuddled, didn't nurse well, and was always fidgeting, even in his sleep. As soon as Ricky could crawl, he was a nonstop motion machine. He graduated from crawling to running in no time at all, almost bypassing the walking stage. Joyce had to keep an eye on Ricky constantly, as he was very accident-prone. At 16 months, he got a hairline fracture in his leg from jumping off the couch, and managed to wiggle out of the leg cast three times during the first day.
Joyce first became suspicious that Ricky had ADHD when he was two years old. She was initially reluctant to seek counseling, but when Ricky was three years old, she went to see his pediatrician. The pediatrician suggested that Ricky be put on medication. However, Joyce felt very apprehensive using medications with Ricky. Joyce felt that putting him on drugs would be admitting that she had failed as a parent.
Ricky's ADHD behavior is worsened by a severe emotional disorder. Ricky is often unresponsive emotionally, doesn't hug, beats up his six-year-old sister, and often embarrasses Joyce in public. Even though Joyce tries hard to be a good parent to Ricky, she often feels drained by the end of each day.
Today was typical. Ricky was a disaster at school as well as at home. His way of saying "hello" to his classmates is by hitting them on the head or knocking them over. Needless to say, Ricky's behavior has not endeared him to his classmates, and he has no friends. No one interacts with Ricky in class, nor comes to his house to play. His voice has only two volumes, loud and louder. Ricky's emotional state vacillates unpredictably. He is sweet and mellow one minute, and then angrily bounces off the walls the next. Joyce dreads picking him up at the end of each school day because she knows there will be an incident report a mile long from the teacher about Ricky's misbehavior. Joyce would love to enroll him in a special school where he can get more attention and care, but her limited income won't allow it.
The school has diagnosed Ricky as having a mild learning disability compounded with emotional problems. Not only does his learning disability pose a challenge for his teacher, but his incessant troublemaking often has the teacher chasing him around the classroom and frequently sending him to the time-out chair. The air of the classroom and the halls at school are frequently punctuated with the teacher's shrill voice: "Ricky! Don't do that!" "Ricky, stop!" "Ricky, come back here!"
Joyce decides to stop by the local supermarket for some grocery shopping on the way home from school. With Ricky and his older sister in tow, Joyce hurries through the parking lot and makes a beeline for the shopping carts.
She straps Ricky into the child seat, and has her daughter walks alongside the shopping cart. Joyce only needs to buy some milk and meat for tonight's dinner, so she expects to make a quick stop at the store. Once inside, Ricky cannot keep his hands to himself, and reaches for any package on the shelves. Joyce has to be constantly vigilant to ensure that he won't pull down some display or grab a package of cookies on the shelf. One time, Ricky managed to rip open a bag of M & Ms and scatter them all over the checkout counter.
Once home, Joyce can only hope to keep a faint semblance of order until Ricky goes to bed, usually at ten or eleven o'clock. Ricky is unusually agitated today. Something is bothering him, but he cannot articulate his feelings very well. At the dinner table, Joyce still uses a baby high chair to restrain Ricky during meals. He fights it, and tries to scamper out of the high chair, tipping the whole thing over and pulling the table cloth down in the process. Food is spilled all over the shag carpet, and Ricky is both laughing and crying.
Ricky is barely out of the high chair when Joyce loses her composure. It has been a long hard day for Joyce, and she screams at the top of her lungs, "What is the matter with you?" Joyce bears down on him with a withering barrage of criticism. Ricky reacts and starts crying. Joyce starts crying, too.
Later that night, after Ricky is asleep, Joyce looks in on him before going to bed. She finds him sleeping with his back and legs up against the corner of the wall, almost standing on his head, frozen in a comical pose. His bed sheets are almost pulled off his bed, and his blanket is on the other side of the bedroom. Joyce gently rolls him back under the covers and then stands back to watch him sleep.
Joyce sometimes wishes that Ricky had never been born, and she hates herself for feeling that way about him. "If it weren't for that kid," Joyce mumbles to herself, "I would be able to enjoy trips to the mall, eat at restaurants, go to movies, and many other simple things that parents of "normal" children can do." But not her. It just didn't seem fair.
Joyce walks quietly back to her bedroom. Holding her head in her hands she throws herself on her bed and cries. How she wishes that there was someone to give her a hug and tell her that everything would be okay, that she's doing a great job being a parent to Ricky. But being single, there is no one there to give her a hug. All she can do is clutch a pillow.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from ADHD in the Young Child: Driven to Redirection by Cathy L. Reimers, Bruce A. Brunger. Copyright © 1999 Cathy L. Reimers, Ph.D. Bruce A. Brunger. Excerpted by permission of Specialty Press, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Contents
Title Page,Copyright Page,
Dedication,
Why We Wrote This Book,
Introduction,
CHAPTER 1 - A Day in the Life of Young Children with ADHD,
CHAPTER 2 - Understanding ADHD in the Young Child,
CHAPTER 3 - Building Self-Esteem and Improving Social Skills,
CHAPTER 4 - Communication with Your Child,
CHAPTER 5 - Effective Techniques to Manage Behavior,
CHAPTER 6 - Typical Problems and Remedies,
CHAPTER 7 - Assessment of ADHD,
CHAPTER 8 - Treatment of ADHD,
CHAPTER 9 - The Parent/Teacher's Survival Guide,
CHAPTER 10 - Lives Changed: Putting this Book's Principles into Practice References,
APPENDIX A - ADHD Support Services for Parents,
APPENDIX B - Suggested Readings & Videos,
APPENDIX C - Helpful Materials,
APPENDIX D - Fun Stuff for Kids,