Adult Children of Divorce: Confused Love Seekers

Adult Children of Divorce: Confused Love Seekers

by Geraldine K. Piorkowski
Adult Children of Divorce: Confused Love Seekers

Adult Children of Divorce: Confused Love Seekers

by Geraldine K. Piorkowski

Hardcover

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Overview

Romantic love is often an elusive, fragile, and tenuous state, difficult to maintain across time. The rates of divorce, re-divorce, relationship violence, and abuse today attest to the face we are failing at romantic love. And for teen-aged and adult children of divorce, romantic love can be especially elusive. Because they have no roadmap for a satisfying, stable romatic relationship derived from their own parents, they are confused by what love is and tend to make poor partner choices. Borrowing heavily from popular culture for unrealistic standards regarding love, they become disillusioned when their all-too-ordinary lovers don't measure up. Especially vulnerable to the problems their parents had, they tend to overreact in a similar negative fashion and are all too ready to consider divorce when unhappiness strikes. In attempting to halt intergenerational transmission of divorce, Psychologist Piorkowski points to how we can recognize that American popular culture presents an overly-sexualized, explosive, and superficial version of love that can't last. With this book, adult children of divorce can begin to see how they have been affected by familial experiences, and develop a new, realistic map to find more fulfilling and enduring romantic relastionships.

Piorkowski, in an extensive review of literature, also looks at cultural factors and how they impact romantic love and marriage. In contrast to American popular culture's shallow rendition of romantic love, many cultures elsewhere in the world emphasize compatibility, religion, and family allegiance. As a result, says the author, such marriages appear more stable than American unions built upon the shifting sands of emotion.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780313346002
Publisher: Bloomsbury Academic
Publication date: 10/30/2008
Pages: 208
Sales rank: 664,655
Product dimensions: 6.40(w) x 9.40(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

GERALDINE K. PIORKOWSKI is Clinical Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Illinois at Chicago, where she has also served as Interim Dean of Students and Director of the Counseling Center. She has been in private practice for 40 years, including individual and couples therapy. She has been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Reader's Digest, Vogue, Chicago Sun Times, Boston Globe, and USA Today.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments
Introduction
Chapter One: The Fragility of Love
Chapter Two: Which Love is Love?
Chapter Three: Love's Poor Choices
Chapter Four: The Fears and Risks of Love
Chapter Five: Too Few Cultural Alternatives to Love
Chapter Six: Role Models of Romantic Love in Popular Culture
Chapter Seven: Love by Arrangement
Chapter Eight: Love Marriages Around the World
Chapter Nine: Lost in the Land of Married Love

What People are Saying About This

Alice Bernstein

"Piorkowski demonstrates her masterful understanding of the developmental experiences that facilitate and those that interfere with intimate relationships."

Floyd N. Nadler

"Dr. Piorkowski's book defines in depth the concept of love from a philosophical, cultural and artistic perspective providing the reader with a foundation by which they can reach their own determination as to the true meaning and feeling of love. Aided with this knowledge, the reader can better understand an interpersonal relationship. Then the book focuses on the viable by-product of failed love, as most strongly illustrated by children of divorce. Piorkowski examines how they react and how they can manage their own relationships to avoid the pitfalls of the past."

Michele Baldwin

"Piorkowski's unique contribution is to help us understand why adult children of divorce find it so difficult to develop true intimacy. They frequently lack the blueprint that would enable them to move from an idealistic picture of romantic love to the more realistic one of commitment and skills needed to develop true long term sustaining relationships. Her penetrating analyis clearly indicates the urgent need to guide and support these confused love seekers."

Elizabeth Marquardt

"What is love? Our parents' divorce undermined the idea that love is forever. The media feeds us the myth that love appears instantly and magically heals all our wounds. Today's grown children of divorce are confused in the realm of love. Dr. Piorkowski brings a wealth of compassion, over twenty years of clinical experience, and a discerning eye on current research to help grown children of divorce to find the love they are looking for and to form the stable relationships they hope to give to their own children."

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