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Baffled by Love: Stories of the Lasting Impact of Childhood Trauma Inflicted by Loved Ones

Baffled by Love: Stories of the Lasting Impact of Childhood Trauma Inflicted by Loved Ones

by Laurie Kahn


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For three decades, Laurie Kahn has treated clients who were abused as children—people who were injured by someone whom they believed to be trustworthy, someone who professed to love them. Their abusers—a father, stepfather, priest, coach, babysitter, aunt, neighbor—often were people who inhabited their daily lives.

Love is why they come to therapy. Love is what they want, and love is what they say is not going well for them.

Kahn, too, had to learn to navigate a wilderness in order to find the “good” kind of love after a rocky childhood. In Baffled by Love, she includes strands from her own story, along with those of her clients, creating a narrative full of resonance, meaning, and shared humanity.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781631522260
Publisher: She Writes Press
Publication date: 06/06/2017
Pages: 280
Sales rank: 262,071
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x (d)

About the Author

Laurie Kahn MA, LCPC, MFA is a pioneer in the field of trauma treatment. For more than thirty years, she has specialized in the treatment of survivors of childhood abuse. In 1980, she founded Womencare Counseling and Training Center. Since then, her ideas and expertise have served both people who have experienced childhood abuse and hundreds of clinicians who have graduated from her Trauma Consultation Training Program. Kahn’s personal essays have been published in anthologies, and her articles and book reviews in professional journals.

Table of Contents

Prologue xi

Introduction: Thinking About Love xv

Part 1

Chapter 1 Don't Like Me 3

Chapter 2 A Nice Visit 9

Chapter 3 Sharing Stories 14

Chapter 4 Quills of a Porcupine 24

Chapter 5 Love Outsourced 33

Chapter 6 A Terrible Mistake 39

Chapter 7 Traumatic Experiences of Love 45

Chapter 8 I Really Like Willow 51

Chapter 9 Children for Sale 57

Chapter 10 Love and Lies 64

Chapter 11 The Topic is Sex 71

Chapter 12 Teaching Children about Love 77

Part 2

Chapter 13 Disempowered 81

Chapter 14 Betrayal Blindness 85

Chapter 15 Surrender 90

Chapter 16 Another Betrayal 94

Chapter 17 You're My Favorite 99

Chapter 18 Soup Cans 108

Chapter 19 My First Marriage 116

Chapter 20 Dog Bite 121

Chapter 21 Meeting Natalie 126

Chapter 22 Grooming 134

Chapter 23 Not for Cowards 138

Chapter 24 Three Wet Kisses 141

Chapter 25 No Surprise 146

Chapter 26 Hey, Doc 151

Part 3

Chapter 27 Trust 163

Chapter 28 Break and Repair 174

Chapter 29 Black and Blue 179

Chapter 30 Good-bye 184

Chapter 31 The Women in my Life 188

Chapter 32 The Date 191

Chapter 33 Transitions 200

Chapter 34 Kristy's Wings 205

Chapter 35 A Different Kind of Love 212

Chapter 36 Jessica goes to Cambodia 220

Chapter 37 I Love You, Too 232

Chapter 38 My Mother learns to Pray 235

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