Bet Me

"The only thing more humiliating than a guy falling asleep face-down in my crotch would be if he died there... Oh my god, is he DEAD?"

All I wanted was little old-fashioned romance. After a parade of Tinder disasters who think chivalry is giving me a pearl necklace on the first date, I made a pledge: until guys step up their game, this girl is off the market.

But one bottle of chardonnay later, and my drunken rant has gone viral. I'm the most famous person NOT having sex since the Jonas Broth...