Break Up On Purpose: A Catalyst for Growth

by John Kim

Overview

From the author of I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, the Angry Therapist, an honest guide to breaking up and breaking through

Every breakup is a transformation. A breaking down and breaking through to a new version of who you are now, after you have severed ties. Nothing will change you like a broken heart. Yet every breakup is different.

John Kim, the Angry Therapist, has seen thousands of patients through breakups of every brutal, freeing, heartbreaking kind—and he’s lived through failed relationships and a divorce of his own. Through his journey as a therapist and as a partner and father, John has identified eight types of unique breakups—and how to get over them:

• The Big One Break-Up (the One you Compare All To)
• The Blindsided Break-Up
• The “Flat Soda” (Mutual) Break-Up
• The You Cheated/You Left Me for Someone Else Break-Up
• The Soap Opera Break-Up
• The Almost-Relationship Breakup
• The Break Up That Never Ends
• The D-word (Divorce)

Each type elicits different responses, requiring different approaches to healing and starting over. John offers a three-part guide to healing from heartbreak: We hear stories from him and his patients about the eight types of breakups, discover honest reflections about what really went down, and engage in Break Through Work to learn the steps necessary to truly heal and grow. John shows us how a breakup can be the ultimate tool for personal growth, where we discover bodies rewired, trauma processed, false beliefs dissolved, and new standards set. 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780063275331
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	12/31/2024
Pages:	272
Sales rank:	37,388
Product dimensions:	5.60(w) x 8.40(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

John Kim is a licensed therapist, speaker, and author of the bestsellers I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck and Single on Purpose. He writes for Psychology Today, among many other publications, and has been featured in the New York Post and on Vice, NPR, and Armchair Expert. He lives in Altadena, California, where he is raising a daughter with his partner. He writes books, sends daily texts, and helps his online community of like-minded singles find themselves first—and, of course, he still rides his motorcycle to coffee shops.

Editorial Reviews

10/14/2024

Therapist Kim (Single, On Purpose) provides a sensitive and approachable guide to bouncing back from heartbreak. Outlining eight types of breakups and the unique challenges each poses, he explains that a “first true love” is especially tough to get over because it “makes the deepest imprint” and is easily idealized (“The canvas of your heart was cleaner, so every brushstroke was seen and felt. And when you play back the relationship, you see and experience it through the eyes of that younger person”). Divorce, on the other hand, is socially stigmatized and requires detangling an intricate relationship in which children, finances, and friends are often shared. Stressing that readers should use breakups to fuel personal growth, Kim recommends that those trapped in an endless cycle of breaking up and getting back together identify common denominators to their failed relationships to avoid perpetuating harmful patterns in the future. Though some of Kim’s cheerleading feels rote (“Your heart didn’t break/It awakened”), he offers valuable, nuanced insights that are enriched by candid disclosures about his own breakups, including a divorce that “chopped me down at the knees.” The result is a solid starting point for the lovelorn. (Dec.)

Publishers Weekly

Therapist Kim provides a sensitive and approachable guide to bouncing back from heartbreak…he offers valuable, nuanced insights that are enriched by candid disclosures about his own breakups. The result is a solid starting point for the lovelorn.” — Publishers Weekly

From the Publisher