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Read an Excerpt
By K. Harla
AuthorHouseCopyright © 2012 K. Harla
All right reserved.
Standing in front of a mirror with admiration
Leaves no room for praise of others, empathy
Consumed by arrogant confinement
Overly content with what's identified
A confident posture, imposture
There is no capacity for enrichment, no need
Drinking from a chalice of merit, eternal youth
Lacing up ribbons of superficial intentions
Untying them with repercussions
A plethora of extravagance, enhancement
Indulging in conventional archetypes
Reveling in flattery to the beat of your own drum
A conceited mindset
Refusing the possibility of repudiation
Plucking through a compilation of fulfillment
Excluding superiors, inferiors, equivalents
Cause and Effect
Is it better to trust the only one I know?
Or keep my lips sealed and go?
Is it better to believe in black and white?
Or sneak my whiskey searching for answers in the night?
Should I stay in bed?
Or step outside to feel the sun's rays on my heavy head?
Should I numb myself with ice?
Or burn my hands on a fiery light?
Well I was comfortable inside my mind
Thinking there I could take the longest stride
I guess the answer I'm looking for
Won't appear on a silver platter at my door
And we can share our lives together
We'll breathe together
We'll be together
And according to what we've been told
One day we'll wake up and look so old
Now or never, now or never
And in our youth we feel the pain
Then all the hail turns to rain
We're simply left inside our brains
Listening to the music on our window panes
Wondering where our time has gone
How could this happen
We had so long
Take that sip of alcohol
And from the sky your troubles fall
Trapped in your gray bedroom walls
Should I have stayed?
Or walked away?
Could I have pushed against your embrace?
And we can spend our lives together
We'll breathe together
We'll be together
And one day you'll wake up and look so old
And ask yourself what you're fighting for
Black on white
Like a piano in the night
Playing our favorite song
Our fingers danced on the keys
Writing our life to be
A charming romance
A love story so sweet and long
We were like diamond icicles
Frozen in a room
And when I left your side that night
All I thought about was you
I tried to turn around
And grab your hand
But in an instant you were gone
Your gleaming memory
Melted in my palm
Our bodies laced together
Created a rhythm of beauty and delight
I'll never forget the way you looked at me
As we sang under the stars and tempting moonlight
The notes on the page kept playing on and on
And your eyes were smiling at mine
Blown away like the remains of a dandelion
Into nothingness as we ran out of time
We were like diamond icicles
Now you're sleeping in the clouds
Covered by the sun
And waltzing in the rain
A frosted graze
Across your silvery face
Reminds me that it's been a while
A pearl vision of our angelic fate
With devotion I will wait
And when I hear that crimson lullaby
I will simply think of you
A sorrowful kiss
For the one that I miss
The only diamond that I knew
Sitting in this little place
Nestled in scarlet red
The blood of irritation
Rushes to my head
And in this trying time
Of both benefits and doubts
Working hard and being driven
Has provided nothing but a drought
Thirsty for a drop of progress
The outcome of this fictitious fate
Entertains me at the very least
Logistics and creativity debate
Why have an open mind
When all it does is shake
The comfort that you walk upon
Scorn towards the detrimental
And for jeering at rejects
For mocking all the cynical
And hanging ridiculed necks
Contradiction reigns over furious haze
Blinding from elation
Only tip-toes forward
In silence and hesitation
An insecure quality of life
Accented by problematic redundancy
Betwixt a rock and hard place
What's inevitable in an invalidating sea
Wrapped in ivy, voluptuous curves wear the twisted vines
Graceful hands sew coats of perfection
A symmetrical face decorated with gems
pierces its audience with emeralds of depth.
Luscious lips engulf the crystal filled with red liquid,
forcing them into the shape of a half moon.
Auburn strands encase flawlessly manicured nails
And bounce with essence
Defined extensions sensually caress it's attached exquisiteness
Descending into a state of rapture, reserve
Advancing to new heights
Escorted by allure and groveling jives
Lustrous jewels emphasize the unspotted sheath
And are removed with approval
Seen through a creased gaze
Which portrays experience in a conservative stance
The silhouette bathes in pearls and lavender
A medley that softens the olive elasticity
And permits consensual saturation
An indispensable brush with a potent aphrodisiac
Both flirtatious and sophisticated
But sweeping up the surrounding thorns
Has this left nothing but a portrait?
Your decadent, red wine lips seduce me
with tempting words.
As my mind joins yours in unhinging,
we fall into a bed of exuberant fallacies.
It was nothing more than dead rose petals and white chocolate.
Your empty eyes saw my tears of passion.
Once again, lust meets love and balances our auras.
As we roll in sheets of grime and darkness
intensity is enhanced,
sending a euphoric feeling through our bodies.
United as one.
A slight tug on my locks sends sweat through my pores—
experienced in a coffin of tranquility.
Your tongue is my absinthe,
your vein, where my needle lies
takes me to an unknown fairytale filled with consequences.
The black-flame candle burns the layers of your skin
revealing your inner beauty.
And leaves me with the aftertaste of an alcoholic candy land.
Two for the money
Three for the show
Do whatever it takes
To make your presence glow
Rewarding as the pursuit may be
Accolades pulled from the money tree
Emotions hidden, sipping on tea
Love the limelight
Soak up the fluorescents
Let your ego go
Until it's iridescent
Follow or lead?
It doesn't matter, who cares?
As long as the green monster talks
You can clear the air
Wrapped up in coins
And hierarchy, too
Open the curtain
Take a bow
Close the curtain
No more crowd
Your standing ovation
Couldn't be seen
By rebellious fiends.
In front of the stage
Nothing but glee
No one can see you behind the scenes
Hands in prayer position
She's captured beneath the pitch-black sky
turned away from the stars that led the way,
hoping to justify what she was about to do tomorrow, today.
An aroma of sweet spices clouded her mind
under the influence of a delusive romance.
Lying in crisp linen, she pollutes the cleanliness
and cries herself to sleep asking for forgiveness.
She is alone, all alone.
Lured in by deceptive temptations,
her green eyes turn watery and gray.
She longs to wake up in the morning and discover a new day.
But only opens her eyes to see that her self-esteem
has been washed away by regret.
Candles turn to torches,
and the wax drips
like the salt from her eyes.
Confined in her adulterous secrets,
She locks the casket and throws away the key.
Condemned to sin and sorrow,
she'll roll over in her grave and pray for salvation.
You have built your world in the center of four walls
Four walls underneath a reddening sky.
The paint drips with each tear you excrete from your soul,
and the ground shakes to the palpitation of your heart.
They sky swirls to the motion of your mind,
and your lover smiles at you as you lie.
The drywall cracks to match your aging skin and fake grin.
While the collar of her leash tightens,
your naive companion expresses loyalty
as you promise things that will never be.
Eventually, the truth will be as silent as your ears—
as invisible as who you claim to be.
Your pathetic eyes embrace her weakness.
And with every kiss from her jaded lips
you grow stronger.
Painting over your only four walls.
You justify your actions, creating a sky filled with stars.
And a healthy heartbeat only occurs as you sleep
away your dreams.
Now the only thing you need is a hanging mirror.
A sympathetic state of mind
Sulks in depression and reluctancy
A putrid foreshadowing of a failing future
It decompresses hope and drive
A typical compatibility between us and them
Abundantly proud to voice a currently active appetite
Pretentious wills, which lead to destructive ways
Potential is there
Yes, there are prospects for fruition
However, they are invaded by colorless thoughts
and counteractive animations
Overly analytical provoking fear
And inducing self-deprecation
A disgraceful attempt to rise above
It is delusive exaggeration at its best
One's incapacitating abilities through mindful manners
Weaken purposes and facilitate antagonistic assistants
Dishonesty merges with pessimism
And unfavorable circumstances are produced
Founded on recurring reliance of clockwork
It is built on idleness
Yet to the idle remains a mystery
Not finding the right words
The words to say
The words needed to survive
Words within myself and words from others
Good and bad words
Words that build character, persona
Words that shape
Words to fall back on and words that catch you
Words that result in laughter, smiles
Cries and frowns
Words that lift you up, and words that bring you down
Words that remain unspoken
And some that hurt too much
Words cause feelings
And feelings you cannot touch
Words that build friendships
Words that frame trust
Words that bring about enemies
And crawl into dark holes
Words that reveal themselves without being said
Sometimes muted words are more painful
Or more enlightening than ever before
Words that make music
Words of wisdom
Words of life
Could've, should've, would've
Words of knowledge
Words that are right.
Where, oh where did my conscience go?
Has anyone seen it?
I truly don't know
The boredom of this vulgar night
Can someone come find me
I've been out of sight
For far too long as you can't see
I've gone missing
It's only day three
What is this supposed to mean?
Either I look for you or look for me
Another dull game of hide and seek
But, the crowds are too dense
All this madness
For me to push through on my own
In an unfamiliar zone
Stumbling on rigid rocks
Blurred vision subsides
And when I ask you for the right way
You smile at me and look away
You point to nowhere
You drift off into space
I remember your face
As you slowly fade
So if you find my conscience
Please let me know
Because I know without it
I'll never be able to grow.
I gasped for air when you lifted your hand and allowed me to swim
Soaked in my misery and sulking in my tears
I somehow cheated death
Death for me was a time when my voice was being heard,
but my words were not listened to.
It was a time when the clocks around me were counting down for the
next day to come,
hoping it would be a day that I could smile about.
Praying that my broken relationships would repair themselves,
my mangled face wore my emotions.
There were times I wanted to jump into the black stormy sky and never
return. I wanted
to crawl onto a cloud and sleep.
And times I looked as if I was wearing red at a funeral,
now I simply wear black.
Death is twisted and toxic, but somehow I go through it.
Not to say that it hasn't made me
Chimera, chimera in my head
Won't you please let me go to bed
Delusion, imagination, hallucinogenic mind trip,
Mental vagary succumbing to an incubus
A haunting illusion of a specter in the night
Fantastical animation of a visitant so bright
Envoy of a phantom, apparition, spirit
Mysterious being in my brain, provoking it
Musing conception, fanciful dream
Trickery and self-deception is what it seems
Optical lapse from disturbed sensory,
Figment of spuriousness, won't you let me be
Reverie, absent-minded trance
Absorbed in a detached land
Impressions of a wraith, nightmarish vision
Kelpie visitor, appearance with incisions
Trying to take me and engulf me in pain
I wall have to say no with optimism and rage
No temptation lies with you
Nothing in or about you is true
I am looking for something bigger, a better life
Beyond what you offer, which will be nothing but strife
I can see that now, but you won't leave without a fight
We've struck a cord of disunity, it just wouldn't be right
It's a rivalry, we've finally met
I'll do whatever it takes to sew a different thread
Altercations aren't my forte, but a conflict is a clash
Leave my head, leave my bed
I'll never invite you back.
A Routine Act
Tonight I danced in your humility
Tonight I laughed in good faith
Tonight I invited your destiny in
Oh won't you please take me away.
Today I woke up in your sappiness
Today I played in your mess
The mess that you made
lifted my feet.
You loved me to the point of no return
You loved me at nothing
You loved me
You loved me—no realization
The trash you carried
The trash you buried
Surfaced to the ground
The ground that you walked upon
I walked upon
The ground we made love on
You liked her
You left her
She didn't know it
She fakes it, she likes it
The thought of being used
She likes it
She knows it.
Powder your nose
So he can lead you on
You seem to be in love
It's nothing more than a show, an act
Give him a kiss so that he knows you're a whore
This silly life of grab and go
It's all over now
Just get over it
Aren't you sick of it?
Aren't you sick of it?
The trunks are breathing
The leaves are singing
The sky is towering over
This beautiful evening
A circle of life, brightening
In the night
The clouds casting over
A grayish delight
Friends are far
But, family is near
I draw them closer
With every tear
Sitting on an object
Stuck to the ground
By nature's sounds
The glass before me shimmers
Shaking from the wind
And the moon smiles upon the park
Enhanced by the sun's grin
The never-ending, winding path
That leads me to the end
Shall lead me to the happiest place
Family, home and friends.
I had you first.
Everything unfolded before my eyes,
Our love bloomed in my favor.
You crawled into bed with me,
Kissed me so softly.
I loved you first.
It was ugly,
I watched the pages fall from the binding.
You are my love,
You are my life.
Comfort simply is not it.
The look in your eyes when we first fell in love,
But, that was only for a while.
You kissed me until morning,
Then blew out the candle and said goodnight.
The next day I woke up and you weren't there.
I reached for you, but you left.
I loved you first.
In to the crypt I walked
Never to return
The blackest I've ever been
The most repulsive I've ever seen
From the touch of a skeleton
Fell to my hallow knees
Do you remember these eyes?
I'm here to repent
In this confined grave
You dug it just for me
Cascaded into the ground
Buried, waiting to be found
Excerpted from CARNIVALESQUE by K. Harla Copyright © 2012 by K. Harla. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents
Cause and Effect....................2
A Routine Act....................22
Um, oh well....................32