Carnivalesque

Carnivalesque

by K. Harla

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781467060325
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Publication date: 02/27/2012
Pages: 48
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.12(d)

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CARNIVALESQUE


By K. Harla

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 K. Harla
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4670-6032-5


Chapter One

      Vanity

    Standing in front of a mirror with admiration
    Leaves no room for praise of others, empathy
    Consumed by arrogant confinement
    Overly content with what's identified
    A confident posture, imposture
    Physically, mentally
    There is no capacity for enrichment, no need
    Density
    Drinking from a chalice of merit, eternal youth
    Lacing up ribbons of superficial intentions
    Untying them with repercussions
    A plethora of extravagance, enhancement
    Indulging in conventional archetypes
    Paradigm
    Reveling in flattery to the beat of your own drum
    A conceited mindset
    Sanction
    Refusing the possibility of repudiation
    Attainability
    Plucking through a compilation of fulfillment
    Excluding superiors, inferiors, equivalents
    Alter ego


      Cause and Effect

    Is it better to trust the only one I know?
    Or keep my lips sealed and go?
    Is it better to believe in black and white?
    Or sneak my whiskey searching for answers in the night?

    Should I stay in bed?
    Or step outside to feel the sun's rays on my heavy head?
    Should I numb myself with ice?
    Or burn my hands on a fiery light?

    Well I was comfortable inside my mind
    Thinking there I could take the longest stride
    I guess the answer I'm looking for
    Won't appear on a silver platter at my door
    And we can share our lives together
    We'll breathe together
    We'll be together
    And according to what we've been told
    One day we'll wake up and look so old
    Now or never, now or never

    And in our youth we feel the pain
    Then all the hail turns to rain
    We're simply left inside our brains
    Listening to the music on our window panes
    Wondering where our time has gone
    How could this happen
    We had so long
    Take that sip of alcohol
    And from the sky your troubles fall
    Trapped in your gray bedroom walls

    Should I have stayed?
    Or walked away?
    Could I have pushed against your embrace?
    And we can spend our lives together
    We'll breathe together
    We'll be together
    And one day you'll wake up and look so old
    And ask yourself what you're fighting for


      Diamond Icicles

    Black on white
    Like a piano in the night
    Playing our favorite song
    Our fingers danced on the keys
    Writing our life to be
    A charming romance
    A love story so sweet and long

    We were like diamond icicles
    Frozen in a room
    And when I left your side that night
    All I thought about was you
    I tried to turn around
    And grab your hand
    But in an instant you were gone
    Your gleaming memory
    Melted in my palm

    Our bodies laced together
    Created a rhythm of beauty and delight
    I'll never forget the way you looked at me
    As we sang under the stars and tempting moonlight
    The notes on the page kept playing on and on
    And your eyes were smiling at mine
    Blown away like the remains of a dandelion
    Into nothingness as we ran out of time

    We were like diamond icicles
    Now you're sleeping in the clouds
    Covered by the sun
    And waltzing in the rain
    A frosted graze
    Across your silvery face
    Reminds me that it's been a while
    A pearl vision of our angelic fate
    With devotion I will wait

    And when I hear that crimson lullaby
    I will simply think of you
    A sorrowful kiss
    For the one that I miss
    The only diamond that I knew


      Anger

    Sitting in this little place
    Nestled in scarlet red
    The blood of irritation
    Rushes to my head
    And in this trying time
    Of both benefits and doubts
    Working hard and being driven
    Has provided nothing but a drought
    Thirsty for a drop of progress
    The outcome of this fictitious fate
    Entertains me at the very least
    Logistics and creativity debate
    Why have an open mind
    When all it does is shake
    The comfort that you walk upon
    Inhibitions break
    Scorn towards the detrimental
    And for jeering at rejects
    For mocking all the cynical
    And hanging ridiculed necks
    Contradiction reigns over furious haze
    Blinding from elation
    Only tip-toes forward
    In silence and hesitation
    An insecure quality of life
    Accented by problematic redundancy
    Betwixt a rock and hard place
    What's inevitable in an invalidating sea


      Envy

    Wrapped in ivy, voluptuous curves wear the twisted vines
    beautifully.
    Graceful hands sew coats of perfection
    A symmetrical face decorated with gems
    pierces its audience with emeralds of depth.
    Luscious lips engulf the crystal filled with red liquid,
    forcing them into the shape of a half moon.
    Auburn strands encase flawlessly manicured nails
    And bounce with essence
    Defined extensions sensually caress it's attached exquisiteness
    Descending into a state of rapture, reserve
    Advancing to new heights
    Escorted by allure and groveling jives
    Lustrous jewels emphasize the unspotted sheath
    And are removed with approval
    Seen through a creased gaze
    Which portrays experience in a conservative stance
    The silhouette bathes in pearls and lavender
    A medley that softens the olive elasticity
    And permits consensual saturation
    An indispensable brush with a potent aphrodisiac
    Both flirtatious and sophisticated
    But sweeping up the surrounding thorns
    Has this left nothing but a portrait?


      Gluttony

    Your decadent, red wine lips seduce me
    with tempting words.
    As my mind joins yours in unhinging,
    we fall into a bed of exuberant fallacies.
    It was nothing more than dead rose petals and white chocolate.
    Your empty eyes saw my tears of passion.
    Once again, lust meets love and balances our auras.
    As we roll in sheets of grime and darkness
    intensity is enhanced,
    sending a euphoric feeling through our bodies.
    United as one.
    A slight tug on my locks sends sweat through my pores—
    experienced in a coffin of tranquility.
    Your tongue is my absinthe,
    your vein, where my needle lies
    takes me to an unknown fairytale filled with consequences.
    The black-flame candle burns the layers of your skin
    revealing your inner beauty.
    And leaves me with the aftertaste of an alcoholic candy land.


      Greed

    Two for the money
    Three for the show
    Do whatever it takes
    To make your presence glow
    Rewarding as the pursuit may be
    Accolades pulled from the money tree
    Emotions hidden, sipping on tea
    Love the limelight
    Soak up the fluorescents
    Let your ego go
    Until it's iridescent
    Follow or lead?
    It doesn't matter, who cares?
    As long as the green monster talks
    You can clear the air
    Wrapped up in coins
    And hierarchy, too
    Anarchy, chaos
    Allegiance, adieu
    Open the curtain
    Take a bow
    Close the curtain
    No more crowd
    Your standing ovation
    Couldn't be seen
    Wasn't heard
    By rebellious fiends.
    In front of the stage
    Nothing but glee
    No one can see you behind the scenes
    Hands in prayer position
    Greed!
    Greed!
    Greed!


      Lust

    She's captured beneath the pitch-black sky
    turned away from the stars that led the way,
    hoping to justify what she was about to do tomorrow, today.
    An aroma of sweet spices clouded her mind
    under the influence of a delusive romance.
    Lying in crisp linen, she pollutes the cleanliness
    and cries herself to sleep asking for forgiveness.
    She is alone, all alone.
    Lured in by deceptive temptations,
    her green eyes turn watery and gray.
    She longs to wake up in the morning and discover a new day.
    But only opens her eyes to see that her self-esteem
    has been washed away by regret.
    Candles turn to torches,
    and the wax drips
    like the salt from her eyes.
    Confined in her adulterous secrets,
    She locks the casket and throws away the key.
    Condemned to sin and sorrow,
    she'll roll over in her grave and pray for salvation.


      Pride

    You have built your world in the center of four walls
    Four walls underneath a reddening sky.
    The paint drips with each tear you excrete from your soul,
    and the ground shakes to the palpitation of your heart.
    They sky swirls to the motion of your mind,
    and your lover smiles at you as you lie.
    The drywall cracks to match your aging skin and fake grin.
    While the collar of her leash tightens,
    your naive companion expresses loyalty
    as you promise things that will never be.
    Eventually, the truth will be as silent as your ears—
    as invisible as who you claim to be.
    Your pathetic eyes embrace her weakness.
    And with every kiss from her jaded lips
    you grow stronger.
    Painting over your only four walls.
    You justify your actions, creating a sky filled with stars.
    And a healthy heartbeat only occurs as you sleep
    away your dreams.
    Now the only thing you need is a hanging mirror.

Sloth

A sympathetic state of mind
Sulks in depression and reluctancy
A putrid foreshadowing of a failing future
It decompresses hope and drive
A typical compatibility between us and them
Abundantly proud to voice a currently active appetite
Pretentious wills, which lead to destructive ways
Potential is there
Yes, there are prospects for fruition
However, they are invaded by colorless thoughts
and counteractive animations
Overly analytical provoking fear
And inducing self-deprecation
A disgraceful attempt to rise above
It is delusive exaggeration at its best
One's incapacitating abilities through mindful manners
Weaken purposes and facilitate antagonistic assistants
Dishonesty merges with pessimism
And unfavorable circumstances are produced
Through procreation
Founded on recurring reliance of clockwork
It is built on idleness
Yet to the idle remains a mystery

      Words

    Not finding the right words
    The words to say
    The words needed to survive
    Words within myself and words from others
    Good and bad words
    Words that build character, persona
    Words that shape
    Words to fall back on and words that catch you
    Words that result in laughter, smiles
    Cries and frowns
    Words that lift you up, and words that bring you down
    Words that remain unspoken
    And some that hurt too much
    Words cause feelings
    And feelings you cannot touch
    Words that build friendships
    Words that frame trust
    Words that bring about enemies
    And crawl into dark holes
    Words that reveal themselves without being said
    Sometimes muted words are more painful
    Or more enlightening than ever before
    Words that make music
    Soothing words
    Words of wisdom
    Words of life
    Could've, should've, would've
    Words of knowledge
    Words that are right.


      Dear Diary

    Where, oh where did my conscience go?
    Has anyone seen it?
    I truly don't know
    The boredom of this vulgar night
    Can someone come find me
    I've been out of sight
    For far too long as you can't see
    I've gone missing
    It's only day three
    What is this supposed to mean?
    Either I look for you or look for me
    Another dull game of hide and seek
    But, the crowds are too dense
    All this madness
    Too immense
    For me to push through on my own
    Walking hazily
    In an unfamiliar zone
    Stumbling on rigid rocks
    Blurred vision subsides
    Eyes lock
    And when I ask you for the right way
    You smile at me and look away
    You point to nowhere
    Not here
    Nor there
    You drift off into space
    I remember your face
    As you slowly fade
    So if you find my conscience
    Please let me know
    Because I know without it
    I'll never be able to grow.


      Death

    I gasped for air when you lifted your hand and allowed me to swim
      ashore
    Soaked in my misery and sulking in my tears
    I somehow cheated death
    Death for me was a time when my voice was being heard,
    but my words were not listened to.
    It was a time when the clocks around me were counting down for the
      next day to come,
    hoping it would be a day that I could smile about.
    Praying that my broken relationships would repair themselves,
    my mangled face wore my emotions.
    There were times I wanted to jump into the black stormy sky and never
      return. I wanted
    to crawl onto a cloud and sleep.
    And times I looked as if I was wearing red at a funeral,
    now I simply wear black.
    Death is twisted and toxic, but somehow I go through it.
    Not to say that it hasn't made me
    crazy.

Chimera

Chimera, chimera in my head
Won't you please let me go to bed
Delusion, imagination, hallucinogenic mind trip,
Mental vagary succumbing to an incubus
A haunting illusion of a specter in the night
Fantastical animation of a visitant so bright
Envoy of a phantom, apparition, spirit
Mysterious being in my brain, provoking it
Musing conception, fanciful dream
Trickery and self-deception is what it seems
Optical lapse from disturbed sensory,
Figment of spuriousness, won't you let me be
Reverie, absent-minded trance
Absorbed in a detached land
Impressions of a wraith, nightmarish vision
Kelpie visitor, appearance with incisions
Trying to take me and engulf me in pain
I wall have to say no with optimism and rage
No temptation lies with you
Nothing in or about you is true
I am looking for something bigger, a better life
Beyond what you offer, which will be nothing but strife
I can see that now, but you won't leave without a fight
We've struck a cord of disunity, it just wouldn't be right
It's a rivalry, we've finally met
I'll do whatever it takes to sew a different thread
Altercations aren't my forte, but a conflict is a clash
Leave my head, leave my bed
I'll never invite you back.

      A Routine Act

    Tonight I danced in your humility
    Tonight I laughed in good faith
    Tonight I invited your destiny in
    Oh won't you please take me away.

    Today I woke up in your sappiness
    Today I played in your mess
    The mess that you made
    lifted my feet.

    You loved me to the point of no return
    You loved me at nothing
    No commitment
    No truth
    No regrets
    You loved me
    No love
    You loved me—no realization

    The trash you carried
    The trash you buried
    Surfaced to the ground
    The ground that you walked upon
    I walked upon
    The ground we made love on
    You liked her
    You left her
    She didn't know it
    She fakes it, she likes it
    The thought of being used
    She likes it
    She knows it.

    Powder your nose
    So he can lead you on
    You seem to be in love
    It's nothing more than a show, an act
    Give him a kiss so that he knows you're a whore
    This silly life of grab and go

    It's all over now
    Just get over it
    Aren't you sick of it?
    Aren't you sick of it?


      Dormant Lament

    The trunks are breathing
    The leaves are singing
    The sky is towering over
    This beautiful evening

    A circle of life, brightening
    In the night
    The clouds casting over
    A grayish delight

    Friends are far
    But, family is near
    I draw them closer
    With every tear

    Sitting on an object
    Stuck to the ground
    Pushed forward
    By nature's sounds

    The glass before me shimmers
    Shaking from the wind
    And the moon smiles upon the park
    Enhanced by the sun's grin

    The never-ending, winding path
    That leads me to the end
    Shall lead me to the happiest place

    Family, home and friends.


      First

    I had you first.
    Everything unfolded before my eyes,
    Our love bloomed in my favor.
    You crawled into bed with me,
    Kissed me so softly.
    I loved you first.
    It was ugly,
    beautiful.
    I watched the pages fall from the binding.
    You are my love,
    You are my life.
    Comfort simply is not it.
    The look in your eyes when we first fell in love,
    Absolutely unimaginable.
    But, that was only for a while.
    You kissed me until morning,
    Then blew out the candle and said goodnight.
    The next day I woke up and you weren't there.
    I reached for you, but you left.
    I loved you first.


      Grim Steps

    In to the crypt I walked
    Never to return
    The blackest I've ever been
    The most repulsive I've ever seen
    From the touch of a skeleton
    Fell to my hallow knees

    Do you remember these eyes?
    I'm here to repent
    In this confined grave
    You dug it just for me
    Cascaded into the ground
    Buried, waiting to be found

(Continues...)



Excerpted from CARNIVALESQUE by K. Harla Copyright © 2012 by K. Harla. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Contents

Vanity....................1
Cause and Effect....................2
Diamond Icicles....................4
Anger....................6
Envy....................8
Gluttony....................9
Greed....................10
Lust....................12
Pride....................13
Sloth....................14
Words....................15
Dear Diary....................17
Death....................19
Chimera....................20
A Routine Act....................22
Dormant Lament....................24
First....................25
Grim Steps....................26
Halloween....................28
Missed....................30
No Escape....................31
Um, oh well....................32
What If....................33
Perception....................35
Vanishing Number....................36
Funny Faces....................37

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