2022-04-05
A socially awkward millennial and small-town criminal sees the error of her ways—but can she change them?
In a suburban Kansas community center health club, fanatical exerciser Ann Josephson is sweating it out six days a week early in 2016. She’s the sticky-fingered, mid-20s protagonist of Hitchcock’s devilishly fun second novel. While scoping out a woman’s unsecured belongings in the locker room, Ann, whose pessimistic interior monologue dominates much of the narrative, innocently remarks, “Anyone could just walk up and take it, but I actually do.” Ann steals at will, adding pilfered items to the ever expanding “junk mountain” kept at home. Apart from her rampant kleptomania, she struggles as a graphic designer while keeping up appearances for her affluent, well-meaning parents, who keep her financially afloat. Her therapist prescribes regular doses of encouragement, particularly when a friendly fellow gym-goer named Joe invites her to join his dodgeball team. As the gym warns members about the thief among them, Ann becomes distracted by the possibilities of jump-starting her nonexistent personal life. Joe’s offer hits Ann’s needy sweet spot, and soon they’re dating, but a twist near the end makes her rethink every aspect of her sociopathic side hustle. While an entertaining, contemporary psychological character study, the story also intelligently reflects upon society, anxiety, depression, and the implicitly competitive, body-conscious social dynamics of gym culture (Ann calls the rush of new members in January, “Resolutionaries”). Narrated by Ann, the novel initially doesn’t work quite hard enough to make its heroine likable, but ultimately Ann’s attempts at self-reflection and corrective behavior draw readers closer to a woman with a warm heart behind all the chilly, snappish dissatisfaction with others. While the novel has humor, humanity, and pathos, perhaps its best quality lies in Hitchcock’s talent for making you care about whether a socially challenged, mean-spirited thief can become a self-aware, remorseful sweetheart thanks to a smitten cop.
A clever, endearing, and funny tale of one woman’s missteps and her efforts to atone.
