Couples That Work: How Dual-Career Couples Can Thrive in Love and Work

by Jennifer Petriglieri

Overview

Finding fulfillment in both love and work isn't easy—but it's possible.

The majority of couples today are dual-career couples. As anyone who's part of such a relationship knows, this presents big challenges: trying to raise kids and achieve career goals while caring for and supporting your partner can seem impossible. Yet most advice for dual-career couples fails, framing the challenges as a zero-sum game in which one partner’s gain is the other's loss and solutions feel like sacrifices or unsatisfactory trade-offs.

This book is different. In Couples That Work, INSEAD professor Jennifer Petriglieri rejects conventional, one-size-fits-all solutions and instead focuses on how dual-career couples can tackle and resolve the challenges they face throughout their lives—together. She identifies three key phases of exploration and personal growth in every couple's work-life journey, showing how partners must navigate these together to strengthen their bond. Each phase is crystallized with a question:

• How can we make this work? The first phase focuses on the logistics of combining two busy lives and often involves the demands of young children.
• What do we really want? In the second phase, couples learn to navigate their midlife crises in ways that allow each partner to continue to feel happy and fulfilled.
• Who are we now? With careers winding down and kids grown up, this last phase offers new freedoms—and uncertainties.

Based on a five-year research project, the book includes interviews with couples from over thirty countries—from executives to entrepreneurs and from twentysomething newlyweds to dual-career grandparents.

Filled with vivid real-life stories, keen insights, and engaging exercises, Couples That Work will help couples develop their own unique answers to that most pressing question: How can we successfully combine love and work?

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781633697249
Publisher:	Harvard Business Review Press
Publication date:	10/08/2019
Pages:	272
Product dimensions:	6.10(w) x 9.30(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Jennifer Petriglieri is an Associate Professor of Organizational Behavior at INSEAD, where she directs the Management Acceleration Program and the Women Leaders Program. She was included among the world's "40 Best Business School Professors Under 40" by Poets & Quants. Her work on dual-career couples has been featured on the Harvard Business Review podcast Women at Work, as well as in HBR articles and on HBR.org.

You can find Jennifer Petriglieri at: linkedin.com/in/jennifer-louise-petriglieri

Table of Contents

1 The Three Transitions of a Dual-Career Couple 1

Transition 1 How Can We Make This Work?

2 When the Honeymoon Ends 23

3 Struggling to Do It All 43

4 Achieving Interdependence 65

Transition 2 What Do We Really Want?

5 Hitting the Wall 93

6 Turmoil and Conflict 115

7 Transitioning to a New Path 135

Transition 3 Who Are We Now?

8 Loss and Limits 161

9 Exploring Wider Horizons 181

10 Couples That Work 201

Appendix: Studying Dual-Career Couples 227

Notes 233

Index 241

Acknowledgments 247

About the Author 251

Editorial Reviews

08/05/2019

In her illuminating debut, Petriglieri, professor of Organizational Behavior at European graduate school INSEAD, lucidly analyzes the phases of contentment and consternation that professional couples experience. After conducting over 100 interviews with “dual-career couples,” Petriglieri identifies three challenging life transitions—job promotions, having children, and retirement—that are reported as the most difficult times during a relationship. Offering no easy tricks for avoiding relationship or career hardships, Petriglieri instead prepares readers for the difficulties couples will likely encounter and offers useful strategies that can assist any couple struggling with work and love, among them “career mapping” (setting out mutual career plans) and “couple contracting” (making specific, firm commitments). All of her advice revolves around the importance of open communication and kindness in sustaining healthy relationships. This helpful work’s strength lies in the clarity of Petriglieri’s observations and her closeness to the couples she describes. Petriglieri’s guidance will provide readers with practical strategies for establishing a healthy, supportive, and flexible bond with their partner. (Oct.)

Publishers Weekly

"If you're one part of a dual-career couple, Couples That Work by Jennifer Petriglieri is a must-read." — Forbes

"In her illuminating debut, Petriglieri, professor of Organizational Behavior at European graduate school INSEAD, lucidly analyzes the phases of contentment and consternation that professional couples experience. This helpful work's strength lies in the clarity of Petriglieri's observations and her closeness to the couples she describes. Petriglieri's guidance will provide readers with practical strategies for establishing a healthy, supportive, and flexible bond with their partner." — Publisher's Weekly

Advance Praise for Couples That Work:

"Jennifer Petriglieri hasn't just spent five years carefully studying the challenges of juggling two careers; she's lived them personally. In this book she shares what she's learned about how dual-career couples can not only survive but also thrive." — Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author, Originals and Give and Take; host, TED WorkLife podcast

"Jennifer Petriglieri provides an elegantly simple yet profoundly insightful road map to the predictable transitions all couples traverse. Through her in-depth research and engrossing stories of couples of all ages, she reveals how each transition can be understood and embraced, leading to a more meaningful relationship and career—for both parties. It's a definite must-read for any dual-career couple." — Herminia Ibarra, Professor of Organizational Behavior, London Business School; author, Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader

"Jennifer Petriglieri offers practical, executable tasks and conversational prompts to help couples navigate challenging transitions and renegotiate a shared path as their lives and careers evolve over time. An inspirational read for anyone who is part of a dual-career couple." — Whitney Johnson, author, Disrupt Yourself and Build an A Team

"Jennifer Petriglieri's insightful new book is an inspiring read for those trying to manage the many challenges that arise over the course of their professional lives. With extensive research, she explores the deeper dynamics of careers and relationships and offers wise advice and a hands-on approach for couples who want to help each other thrive at work and in their relationships." — Terri Kelly, former CEO, W. L. Gore & Associates

"Through vivid life stories, eye-opening research, and insightful analysis, Jennifer Petriglieri shows dual-career couples how to navigate their path at any life stage. Couples That Work is a must-read for any couple committed to their relationship and to their careers." — Francesca Gino, Tandon Family Professor of Business Administration, Harvard Business School; bestselling author, Rebel Talent

From the Publisher