Dammit, Just Ask!: THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE ON HOW TO GET MORE OUT OF LIFE AND BUSINESS
Dammit, Just Ask!
The Essential Guide to Getting More Out of Life and Business
By J. Paul Nadeau

Most people never get what they truly want in life—not because it's out of reach, but because they don't ask. Or when they do, they ask the wrong way. Dammit, Just Ask! is your blueprint for changing that. Whether you're trying to close a business deal, land a job, build a relationship, or just get your voice heard, this book will show you how to ask the right way—and get to "yes" more often.

Written by former hostage negotiator, international peacekeeper, and Special Victims Unit detective J. Paul Nadeau, this revised and enhanced edition is a practical, story-driven guide to mastering the art of negotiation—not just in the boardroom, but in everyday life.

Drawing on over three decades of law enforcement experience and years of global speaking and coaching, Paul introduces readers to his powerful and intuitive PIER Negotiation Method:

Planning – Know what you want and prepare like a professional

Intent – Approach each ask with purpose, clarity, and integrity

Engagement – Connect with people on a human level using active listening

Relationship – Build trust, because people say yes to those they like, know, and trust

Much like Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, this book is built on real-world experience—where saying the wrong thing could cost lives. But where Voss gives you the tactical playbook, Paul goes further, tapping into the emotional intelligence and relationship-centered strategies that create real influence. His approach is grounded in empathy, mutual respect, and the belief that everyone matters. You'll learn how to:

Overcome the fear of rejection and the paralysis of overthinking

Ask for raises, deals, dates, and decisions with confidence

Build trust quickly—even with difficult people

Navigate conflict without aggression or surrender

Develop the mindset of a negotiator who wins with dignity and respect

Backed by captivating stories from hostage crises, interrogations, international peacekeeping missions, and high-stakes corporate situations, Dammit, Just Ask! is packed with actionable tools, mindset shifts, and a refreshing dose of honesty. This isn't theory—it's a guide forged in the trenches of real life.

Paul's philosophy is simple but powerful: "Negotiation is just a conversation with a goal, and the better you understand people, the more likely you are to get a yes." His PIER method is designed to give readers of all backgrounds—from corporate executives to new entrepreneurs to everyday people—an accessible framework they can start using immediately.

What others are saying:

"Comparable to Chris Voss's Never Split the Difference, this book is a game-changer in negotiation literature... Equal parts insightful and actionable."
– Chris Do, founder of The Futur

"Paul shares his extensive experience as a hostage negotiator with humor and humility. His insights and brilliant strategies will stick thanks to his superior storytelling skills."
– Cindy Watson, author of The Art of Feminine Negotiation

"This book unlocks the invisible levers of mindset and communication that can make anyone say yes."
– Jean-Paul Pham, Pham Consulting International

Whether you're looking to close bigger deals, earn more respect, or finally step into the life you want, Dammit, Just Ask! is your must-have guide to getting results. Read it once, use it forever.
1147617068
Dammit, Just Ask!: THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE ON HOW TO GET MORE OUT OF LIFE AND BUSINESS
Dammit, Just Ask!
The Essential Guide to Getting More Out of Life and Business
By J. Paul Nadeau

Most people never get what they truly want in life—not because it's out of reach, but because they don't ask. Or when they do, they ask the wrong way. Dammit, Just Ask! is your blueprint for changing that. Whether you're trying to close a business deal, land a job, build a relationship, or just get your voice heard, this book will show you how to ask the right way—and get to "yes" more often.

Written by former hostage negotiator, international peacekeeper, and Special Victims Unit detective J. Paul Nadeau, this revised and enhanced edition is a practical, story-driven guide to mastering the art of negotiation—not just in the boardroom, but in everyday life.

Drawing on over three decades of law enforcement experience and years of global speaking and coaching, Paul introduces readers to his powerful and intuitive PIER Negotiation Method:

Planning – Know what you want and prepare like a professional

Intent – Approach each ask with purpose, clarity, and integrity

Engagement – Connect with people on a human level using active listening

Relationship – Build trust, because people say yes to those they like, know, and trust

Much like Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, this book is built on real-world experience—where saying the wrong thing could cost lives. But where Voss gives you the tactical playbook, Paul goes further, tapping into the emotional intelligence and relationship-centered strategies that create real influence. His approach is grounded in empathy, mutual respect, and the belief that everyone matters. You'll learn how to:

Overcome the fear of rejection and the paralysis of overthinking

Ask for raises, deals, dates, and decisions with confidence

Build trust quickly—even with difficult people

Navigate conflict without aggression or surrender

Develop the mindset of a negotiator who wins with dignity and respect

Backed by captivating stories from hostage crises, interrogations, international peacekeeping missions, and high-stakes corporate situations, Dammit, Just Ask! is packed with actionable tools, mindset shifts, and a refreshing dose of honesty. This isn't theory—it's a guide forged in the trenches of real life.

Paul's philosophy is simple but powerful: "Negotiation is just a conversation with a goal, and the better you understand people, the more likely you are to get a yes." His PIER method is designed to give readers of all backgrounds—from corporate executives to new entrepreneurs to everyday people—an accessible framework they can start using immediately.

What others are saying:

"Comparable to Chris Voss's Never Split the Difference, this book is a game-changer in negotiation literature... Equal parts insightful and actionable."
– Chris Do, founder of The Futur

"Paul shares his extensive experience as a hostage negotiator with humor and humility. His insights and brilliant strategies will stick thanks to his superior storytelling skills."
– Cindy Watson, author of The Art of Feminine Negotiation

"This book unlocks the invisible levers of mindset and communication that can make anyone say yes."
– Jean-Paul Pham, Pham Consulting International

Whether you're looking to close bigger deals, earn more respect, or finally step into the life you want, Dammit, Just Ask! is your must-have guide to getting results. Read it once, use it forever.
9.99 In Stock
Dammit, Just Ask!: THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE ON HOW TO GET MORE OUT OF LIFE AND BUSINESS

Dammit, Just Ask!: THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE ON HOW TO GET MORE OUT OF LIFE AND BUSINESS

by J. Paul Nadeau
Dammit, Just Ask!: THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE ON HOW TO GET MORE OUT OF LIFE AND BUSINESS

Dammit, Just Ask!: THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE ON HOW TO GET MORE OUT OF LIFE AND BUSINESS

by J. Paul Nadeau

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Overview

Dammit, Just Ask!
The Essential Guide to Getting More Out of Life and Business
By J. Paul Nadeau

Most people never get what they truly want in life—not because it's out of reach, but because they don't ask. Or when they do, they ask the wrong way. Dammit, Just Ask! is your blueprint for changing that. Whether you're trying to close a business deal, land a job, build a relationship, or just get your voice heard, this book will show you how to ask the right way—and get to "yes" more often.

Written by former hostage negotiator, international peacekeeper, and Special Victims Unit detective J. Paul Nadeau, this revised and enhanced edition is a practical, story-driven guide to mastering the art of negotiation—not just in the boardroom, but in everyday life.

Drawing on over three decades of law enforcement experience and years of global speaking and coaching, Paul introduces readers to his powerful and intuitive PIER Negotiation Method:

Planning – Know what you want and prepare like a professional

Intent – Approach each ask with purpose, clarity, and integrity

Engagement – Connect with people on a human level using active listening

Relationship – Build trust, because people say yes to those they like, know, and trust

Much like Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, this book is built on real-world experience—where saying the wrong thing could cost lives. But where Voss gives you the tactical playbook, Paul goes further, tapping into the emotional intelligence and relationship-centered strategies that create real influence. His approach is grounded in empathy, mutual respect, and the belief that everyone matters. You'll learn how to:

Overcome the fear of rejection and the paralysis of overthinking

Ask for raises, deals, dates, and decisions with confidence

Build trust quickly—even with difficult people

Navigate conflict without aggression or surrender

Develop the mindset of a negotiator who wins with dignity and respect

Backed by captivating stories from hostage crises, interrogations, international peacekeeping missions, and high-stakes corporate situations, Dammit, Just Ask! is packed with actionable tools, mindset shifts, and a refreshing dose of honesty. This isn't theory—it's a guide forged in the trenches of real life.

Paul's philosophy is simple but powerful: "Negotiation is just a conversation with a goal, and the better you understand people, the more likely you are to get a yes." His PIER method is designed to give readers of all backgrounds—from corporate executives to new entrepreneurs to everyday people—an accessible framework they can start using immediately.

What others are saying:

"Comparable to Chris Voss's Never Split the Difference, this book is a game-changer in negotiation literature... Equal parts insightful and actionable."
– Chris Do, founder of The Futur

"Paul shares his extensive experience as a hostage negotiator with humor and humility. His insights and brilliant strategies will stick thanks to his superior storytelling skills."
– Cindy Watson, author of The Art of Feminine Negotiation

"This book unlocks the invisible levers of mindset and communication that can make anyone say yes."
– Jean-Paul Pham, Pham Consulting International

Whether you're looking to close bigger deals, earn more respect, or finally step into the life you want, Dammit, Just Ask! is your must-have guide to getting results. Read it once, use it forever.

Product Details

BN ID: 2940184562100
Publisher: J. Paul Nadeau
Publication date: 06/13/2025
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: eBook
File size: 889 KB

About the Author

J. Paul Nadeau is a former hostage negotiator, international peacekeeper, and decorated police detective who spent over 30 years in law enforcement, including 15 years as a crisis and criminal interrogator. He served on the front lines of some of the world’s most volatile conflicts—from negotiating with terrorists in the Middle East to de-escalating life-and-death standoffs in Canada.

Paul has interrogated murderers, rapists, and criminals of every kind—and yet, his philosophy has always remained the same: everyone matters. His approach to negotiation is rooted in empathy, psychology, and strategic influence—skills that helped him not only save lives, but also build bridges where none existed.

A global keynote speaker and media contributor, Paul has appeared on major news outlets and was featured by Vanity Fair analyzing the accuracy of hostage negotiation scenes in Hollywood films. He’s delivered TEDx talks, addressed global audiences on conflict resolution, mental wellness, and negotiation, and coached CEOs, entrepreneurs, and everyday professionals in how to ask for what they want—and get it.

Paul is the author of multiple books, including Take Control of Your Life and The Hostage Effect. His work has been compared to that of Chris Voss and Gary Noesner, but with a deeper focus on human connection and psychological insight. He doesn’t teach manipulation—he teaches communication that leads to real influence and trust.

Paul lives in Toronto, Canada, and continues to speak, write, and act. His mission is to empower people to break free from self-doubt, master the ask, and create positive change in their personal and professional lives.
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