Read an Excerpt
Experienced Expressions
The deepest form of poetry you can read
By Frances Sanchez AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2010 Frances Sanchez
All right reserved. ISBN: 978-1-4490-9879-7
Chapter One
My Dreams are big, My Conquers will be higher, From Striving comes my guidance, And Success is my desire.
Frances A. Sanchez 2/14/10
WHY ... Growing up in life the way that I did Is the reason why I ask why I live the way I live ... Being born is only for starters Raised in a stable home for 10 years, but after 10 years life got harder Then came the tears ... Forcing me to ask the one that I fear "WHY" ... why was I even put here If I was going to be backed into corner that make me feel as no one cares Why is life so unfair and "WHY" ... Why was I the child of two addicts strung out on crack Parents leaving me for days and only after days they'd come back Repeating the same steps ... Everyday was the same for them, leaving me alone to go on a bin Taking from their children just to get on with their friends ... On top of being lonely I was stuck with 2 brothers that were hungry I thank Chef Boy R D for all of his ravioli's When Mommy & Daddy forgot we had to eat ... It was then, I had no other choice but to blame them ... For forcing me to live a cruddy life that wasn't on my list Damn & at the age of 14 learning the force behind a man's fist Leaving my lip busted ... What is this and "WHY" ... why can't I laugh & smile as much as I cry Asking my Lord constantly if I will make it before I die ... And the Lord said "my child wipe your eyes, Find some goals in your life & for them goals you must strive, But instead at 15 I tried smoking week to get high ... Stealing clothes and selling clothes anything to get by For a minute it was alright ... But the system eventually grabbed a hold of me tightly Paranoid in court wondering if the jury would indict me ... It's sad to me, that I have to ask why or what if See because even though I grew up in an unhappy home I still had a gift ... Like doing hair on the front porch Holding out on boys & intercourse ... I was usually in the woods Building club houses and using dirt to make play food goods ... Or running bare footed through the block Maybe even in the creek skipping rocks and etc ... But whenever I was fed up I would look up in the sky & question life's why's ... On the streets by 16, all alone with a baby in between But by all means ... I struggled to survive so that my child wouldn't have to ask why like I ... 17-18 stuck in a relationship barely there Getting my feelings stepped on & being treated once again unfair So I figured he didn't care ... Or even realize I was his baby girl walking around with those black eyes 'WHY"... why is life so hard to compromise And "WHY" ... Why is confusion filling my mind with thoughts of suicide I guess it doesn't matter since we all live to die ... 19 with 2 kids sentenced to 2 bids, question is Who's going to take care of my 2 kids while I serve 2 bids ...? The man's telling me he got this But what a disappointment At a time like this he gets involved with another chick Alloying her to destroy this ... Can somebody tell me "WHY" ...? Why I keep fooling with the devil himself in disguise I guess it was the eyes ... 20 & 21 lonely and under pressure rolling with the fellers for some fun Conversated a little, drank a little, even took my first shot of gun Some nights I stayed up until the rise of the sun ... Hanging out in bars still questioning "WHY" ... Why wasn't I the one who became a star or even walked on Mars ... Some questions are unbelievable, that is true But somebody's got to tell me why I never did the things I dreamed or wanted to do ... A mother of 2 at 22 Trying to find some goals in my life to pursue so I can make it through ... A lot of us live similar lives I'm quite sure we all ask "why" See most of us do drugs or raise hell And sometimes commit crimes that land us in jail ... A thing called life out here is for real Not knowing which hand evil gone deal ... Good or bad we gone question the lives & family tides that we had Because of the times we had to comfort our own selves while being sad But I'm not mad See because by living wrong I'm learning everyday the meaning of staying strong ... And I meant what I said when I said Better day's are ahead ... So even though every day I cry, and everyday I ask "WHY" I will still hold my head & remain sane for still I rise ... HARD LIFE ... Growing up use to be all about roller-skating and jumping rope, Our children of today are contemplating selling dope ... Young sisters are standing on corners abusing their gifts, To get high or get by they're pulling tricks, Neighborhoods are even more run down, Small ones are using old crack bags to collect sand at the playgrounds ... Parents are getting high running loose, Children are in foster care facing sexual abuse; this is the hard truth ... Of the hard life people live, It's fiends in alleys behind dumpsters having kids ... Gangers come in and rob you of your property, While the government gets rich robbing us of prosperity, And unless we're a celebrity we living in poverty ... They spending money on wars, yet we on TV begging to feed the poor, They're closing shelters putting eviction notices on doors ... While the homeless roam the streets, Begging for a nickel or dime they holding up signs for something to eat, Hard Life is deep ... People of the world are living this trace, But things will never change until we start running the same race, Things will remain the same, a Hard Life full of pain ... What else can I say; police brutality is happening more every day ... They knocking down hotels to build jails, And the hopeless are committing crimes just for a warm cot in a cell, The truth is hell ... But unless we face it, The world will go back to the days of slaves & racist ... Yet the rich fell free; but I can guarantee, They'd rather take a bullet to the head than to live like me, And they say it gets worse before it gets better, But for some better days come never; 911 we'll always remember ... But how long can we mourn for a family torn, What about the drug addicted babies being born? They say what don't kill you suppose to make your stronger While Hard Life forever leaves you scorn ... Now it's all about the terrorist, But in the projects to walk out your door is taking a risk, Is there a high alert button for this? Welfare needs funding Mr. President; you got all the money, Saying you want to assist; and that's funny, Considering families are being blown up buried in pits, To live a Hard Life one never forgets ...
SOMETIMES
Sometimes we got to experience the struggle Sometimes you got to lose your mind in order to learn how to be humble Sometimes you'll stumble ... Sometimes you got to go to extremes to make it By any means necessary to survive sometimes you got to take it ... Sometimes karma is what your fate is Sometimes it'll spin you around and make you face it Sometimes to get through it, it takes patience ... Sometimes you'll have a broken heart And it can hurt so bad that it rips you apart Sometimes you got to play the card ... Sometimes you'll go through the rain, sometimes it's a storm Sometimes you'll be happy, sometimes you'll be scorn One minute your healthy, the next your warn It's all a part of life it starts when you're born ... Sometimes your life will change just like the weather Sometimes things are going to be bad But sometimes there better ...
YOU'RE FUTURE
Your life can only begin, When your tired of living the past within, Your race will always be effortless, Until your goals become to win ... You must set aside your ignorance, To become something bright, Be mindful of your focuses, Your progress will be determined by your fight ... You have to become your purpose, For humbleness is the hardest of the challenges in life ... It will be difficult to grasp knowledge on all your own, Until your thoughts & intelligence have fully grown, With understanding & acceptance that things will go wrong, You have to look to your future with a vision that's strong ...
A WORLD LIKE MINE
They say after the rain come sunshine I say, the sun never shines thru lives like mine ... I'm from a world where poverty is considered getting by, Where the way of honesty is to tell a lie, Where God collects tears from our cries, And pours them back in our face thru the drops from the sky, Where everybody ask why, And find convincible answers thru a high... They say after the rain come sunshine I say, the sun never shines thru lives like mine ... I'm from a world of contamination, a rash, Where in our gardens there are no flowers only trash, Where you're walking on feces instead of grass, Where the good never exceeds the bad ... They say after the rain come sunshine I say, the sun never shines thru lives like mine.... I'm from a world where the water is ploy, Where little girls are taken by big boys, Where gifts are loaves of bread instead of toys, Where wake up call is from the nearest guns noise ... They say after the rain come sunshine I say, the sun never shines thru the lives like mine ... I'm from a world where a full time job is to prostitute, Where a mother is degraded for her child's winter boots, Where crack is the flag we salute, Where we are slaves in the streets like our roots ... They say after the rain come sunshine I say, the sun never shines thru lives like mine.... I'm from a world where there's no such thing as cable TV, Where sitting on your porch watching the news is free, Where people come up in your house with no key, Where you got to feel your way around just to see, Where prayers are answered by destiny, And where the gutter becomes home for those like me ... They say after the rain come sunshine I say, the sun never shines thru lives like mine ...
I & ME WE ALL HAVE THOSE DAYS THAT ARE NEITHER HERE NOR THERE, BUT NOBODY EVER SAID THAT LIFE WAS GOING TO BE FAIR ... TO STRUGGLE, TO GAIN, MOST IMPORTANTLY TO SURVIVE, THESE ARE THE THINGS OF MY EXPERIENCE & THAT IS WHY ... I OBSERVE, I LISTEN, I TEACH WHAT IS TAUGHT, POVERTY, ADDICTION, ABUSE, DISTRAUGHT ... WHEN NEGATIVITY SEEMS TO BE ALL THAT I KNOW, I LIVE ONLY FOR TODAY, WITH LITTLE HOPE IN TOMORROW, BY NOT BEING AWARE OF WHERE NEXT TO GO, CAN LEAVE ME TORMENTED BY FEAR & AFRAID TO GROW ... OH SO SAD SO SAD IT BE, TO NOT BECOME OF NOTHING TO NOT ACHIEVE, CAPABLE OF ANYTHING BUT UNABLE TO SEE, PAST ALL THE MADNESS SO THAT I CAN BE ME ... MOST TIMES I WISH FOR THINGS I'LL PROBABLY NEVER HAVE, BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS WISHING FOR GOOD IN A WORLD SO BAD, MERE WORDS CAN SUM UP THE LIVES THAT ARE LOOKED PAST ... LONELY, LOST, MISERABLE, DEFEATED, ABANDONED, BEAT, NEGLECTED, CHEATED ... BROKE, HUNGRY, LIFELESS & COLD, WORN OUT, RAGGEDY, UGLY & OLD ... IF I CONTINUE TO LIVE LIFE ACCORDINGLY TO HOW THINGS SEEM, I'LL ALWAYS LIVE A NIGHTMARE IN A STATE OF MIND THAT CAN'T DREAM, NO SENSE OF DIRECTION, NO MEANS ... PAINFUL BROKEN PROMISES CAN MAKE A PERSON BITTER, LIFE'S LESSON'S WILL EITHER LEAVE YOU A QUITTER, OR MAKE YOU A WINNER, I HAVE SCARS ON MY HEART FROM THE THINGS THAT I'VE ENDURED, I HAVE MENTAL WOUNDS THAT MAY NEVER BE CURED ... THE BODY OF A WOMAN, THE MIND OF A GIRL, A CHARACTER DEFECT BOUGHT ON BY THIS WORLD ... TODAY IS THE DAY FOR THE PAIN THAT I BARE, TO BE REWARDED WITH COMFORT, TO BE OF SOME ONES CARE.... SO THAT I CAN OPEN MY EYE'S & ENJOY WHAT I SEE, A BETTER I, A BRAND NEW ME!
YOU'RE A HOOD RAT:
If you can find money to smoke weed or smoke wet, Can't pay your bills & live a life you regret. If you got to wear your friend's clothes to look like a star, But so broke & desperate you will sell yourself in the bar. From this man to that man to any you'll jump, Now you're stuck wondering how you got that discharge or bump. If your envy is so heavy you wish you could be like your friend, Or if public assistance is the only means that on you depend. If you'll sleep with a strange man just to get laid, Or you'll sleep with an old man just to get paid. Yes it's sad so very sad, If your roaming the streets with 8 kids & don't know neither of their dads. If you're reading this & the facts make you mad, Then you are just another HOOD RAT doing bad ...
A PLACE CALLED JAIL
Emotionally numb traumatized by the way you feel, Surrounded by prison walls made of bars & steel ... A metal bunk with half a mattress, 3 non-nutrient meals, no worldly connection, And your family no longer matters ... Wake up call is at nine, You got 3 minutes to get wet in the shower before you lose your time, Constant confinement makes you want to lose your mind, It's all apart of the struggle when you commit a crime ... Every judge has a grudge making it hard for you to post bail, Leaving you stuck writing with no access to collect calls from jail, Then you're stuck fighting for stealing envelopes to mail ... C.O.'s be on you trying to talk to fast, Then you end up in the hole for telling them to kiss your ass, Battling with the trouble in your mind of your past, As you pray to God asking how long this will last ... Listening to keys as they pass your door, Thinking if only they'd stop here & let me out, I won't come back no more ... You got to cry just to pass the day, And by the sun rise you're trying to convince yourself that you'll be ok ... You get depressed in a concrete yard for an hour, Where you can't see grass or even smell a flower, So you sit in a corner surrendering to a higher power, Or fighting your hormones just to keep from going sour ... The devil's playground is what it is, Everybody downing everybody about leaving their kids ... You're told when to get up, sleep, shit or make a sound, So believe me when I tell you this ain't the place to hang around ... You got to piss & eat where you rest your feet, Swallow your pride there's nowhere to hide when you get weak, 3 to a cell so to speak ... If you are listening I'm trying to tell you this place is hell, So do yourself a favor & don't go to jail ...
I WANT ... I want to learn about you & all the things you like to do, I want to have a friendship; I want to be with you ... I want to share with you my dreams & all I want to be, I want to be the one that you always want to see ... I want to see you in the morning & before I close my eyes, I want you to be there for me when my heart pours out its cries, I want to be able to be honest & to you never lie, I want to always be together and never say goodbye ... I want to hear your heart beat when we lay down to sleep, I want to feel you loving me; your heart I want to keep ... I want to hold you in my arms & never let you go, I want the love that we share to happily continue to grow ... I want to always be there thru all your ups & downs, I want to be the reason that you smile & make sure you never frown. I want to be that someone you dream of all the time, I want to commit my love to you & it not feel like a crime ... I want to spend my life with you & together we'll grow old, I want to make sweet love to you till my body takes its toll ... I want you to put your heart upon your hands & hand it to me slow, I want to be together forever & always, you're all I want to know!
SOMETIMES [??] CRY ... When I'm alone in my room sometimes I stare at the walls, Confusion runs thru my mind As I wonder how I made it thru all my down falls ... A drug addict's child raised in the gutter, Sometimes I cry because there was no one there for me & my brother, A run the streets mother ... To busy to teach me about a woman's priority, And with pops always in jail he didn't teach me how a man can be, Imprisoned in a life of hell my soul begs & screams to be set free ... Sometimes I cry ... Growing up came fast but never easy, A dirty lil girl all the kids would tease me, Like an outsider they would treat me ... The cuts and bruises don't always heal, Being mentally traumatized would never change how I feel, God bestowed strength upon me for the obstacles in life to deal, But to make ends meet sometimes I had to steal.... From sunset to sunrise sometimes degraded thou I made it thru the grind, A black girl loss but I haven't lost my mind, Thou my world may seem dark my spirit still shines ... It ain't a time that I don't ask why, And through out my days, sometimes I cry ... Some feel sorry for me as if I'm helpless, Some talk down on me like I'm felt less ... The feeling of the force behind a man's fist, It's so much pain I wonder should I take a razor to my wrist, Sometimes I Cry ... I understand suffer because I experienced all except being dead, But I came close one night I swallowed pills then laid down in bed, But the lord didn't take me "vengeance is mine" he said ... You may not have wing and you may not fly, But it's ok if sometimes you cry, One day you'll rise ... Now I'm striving for a better way, Learning from my mistakes leaning towards a brighter day, Living in misery is no longer the way, My young people its ok ... I know where you at because I been there, So if you know nothing else know that I care, And I know that feeling when you emotionally die, So thru the pressure and the pain sometimes I cry ...
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Experienced Expressions by Frances Sanchez Copyright © 2010 by Frances Sanchez. Excerpted by permission.
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