Graceful Exit: How to Advocate Effectively, Take Care of Yourself, and Be Present for the Death of a Loved One

by Gustavo Ferrer M.D.

Overview

When we are thrust into the role of caregiver for a loved one who is in the process of dying, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Yet it’s a situation millions of us face every year with virtually no sort of preparation or guidance. With Graceful Exit, Dr. Gustavo Ferrer offers an all-in-one resource for anyone tasked with managing the end-of-life care of a loved one.

Dr. Ferrer shares the essential steps we need to take in a way that can be tailored to our unique situation. Through checklists, plans, and step-by-step instructions reflecting his years of experience supporting patients and their families, Dr. Ferrer offers clear and compassionate guidance for the most difficult issues, including:

What are your rights under Medicare and health insurance?

• When should you bring your family together?

• How can you be a caregiver without burning yourself out?

• What are the pros and cons of advanced medical treatment versus hospice at each end-of-life stage?

• Most importantly, how do we say goodbye in a way that brings healing, closure, and peace?

It’s the last news we want to hear—that someone we love is dying. Yet it's an inevitable part of life. With Graceful Exit, Dr. Ferrer offers this much-needed guide through the medical, legal, financial, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of dying and death.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781683640448
Publisher:	Sounds True
Publication date:	05/01/2018
Pages:	200
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 8.70(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

GUSTAVO FERRER, MD, has specialized in end-of-life care for more than 15 years. He has received several prestigious awards, including being named as one of the Best Doctors in the US by US News & World Report, Most Compassionate Doctor, and Patients’ Choice Award. He lives in South Florida. For more, visit gustavoferrermd.com.

Table of Contents

Preface: Death Is Not Failure ix

Introducion: The New Rules of Dying xiii

1 Getting Everyone on the Same Page 1

2 Letting Head and Heart Guide You Through the Hardest Decisions 21

3 Your Best Ally 41

Working with the Medical Team

4 What to Do When Your Loved One Still Has Some Time 69

Hospice, Palliative Care, Long-Term Life Support, and Other Considerations

5 Who Pays? 95

Medicare, Spending Down, Long-Term Care Policies, and More

6 Legacies and Regrets 107

The Importance of Having Final Conversations about Life

7 Grieving, Letting Go, and Acceptance 123

Lessons from the Orinoco

8 Post-Death Paperwork 137

Funerals, Taxes, Passwords, and More

9 Planning an Event You Don't Want to Attend 157

Epilogue: For Every Season 173

Acknowledgments 175

Notes 177

About the Author 181

Editorial Reviews

An absolutely essential book for an experience in life we all will face—the death of one we love. With expert knowledge and extraordinary compassion, Dr. Ferrer empowers the reader to create the love and grace we wish to offer our dying loved ones. He is able to unravel the complexities of our modern medical system, as well as the challenging dynamics of families under stress as they face the multiple decisions required before, during, and after the death of their family member. The intimate stories of his patients and their families validate the importance of his practical guidance. Read this book before you believe you will need it and keep it readily available for when you do.” —Patrick O’Malley, PhD, author of Getting Grief Right: Finding Your Story of Love in the Sorrow of Loss

“In Graceful Exit, Dr. Ferrer smooths out life's rockiest roads with authentic compassion and practical directives gleaned from his bedside experiences. Graceful Exit meets your loved one and you where you are and guides you the rest of the journey.” —Jeffrey L. Brown, PsyD, ABPP, assistant clinical professor, department of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School; author of The Winner's Brain, The Runner's Brain, and Chicken Soup for the Soul's Think Positive for Great Health

“Graceful Exit will empower readers at a time when they feel most vulnerable. This book is an important contribution to the literature on how to optimize one's quality of life at every stage.” —Julie Silver, MD, associate professor and associate chair, department of physical medicine and rehabilitation, Harvard Medical School; author of Life After Stroke

From the Publisher