Helping Your Child Through Divorce

by Florence Bienenfeld

Overview

What is best for your child?Divorce is a difficult process for all those involved, and it is particularly hard on children. This book explains how you can create a safe, nurturing environment for your children so they can recover from the trauma of your divorce—and go on to heal and thrive.Dr. Bienenfeld outlines three key parenting principles:

1. Provide your children with an environment in which they can feel loved by both parents.
2. Help your child feel good about themselves.
3. Be a model of the values and basic skills your children need to achieve healthy independence.

She encourages parents to make the important transition from former marriage partners to ongoing parent partners, and gives helpful guidelines for ways to deal with hurt, anger, and difficult situations. She also advocates using mediation to avoid bitter and costly lawsuits, and includes examples of constructive agreements and lists of mediators and helping organizations in the United States.

The drawings in this book were made by children of divorcing parents. They clearly illustrate the children's frustration, anger, and pain at the breakup of their families. Dr. Bienenfeld uses the pictures as a way to open parents' eyes to their children's needs.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780897931687
Publisher:	Turner Publishing Company
Publication date:	01/26/1995
Series:	Family & Childcare
Edition description:	Second Edition
Pages:	224
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x (d)

About the Author

Florence Bienenfeld has helped thousands of divorced families, both in private practice and as a marriage and family counselor for the Los Angeles county Conciliation Court. She gives workshops on managing divorce for parents and for counselors and is the author of the highly regarded books My Mom and Dad Are Getting Divorced and Child Custody Mediation: Techniques for Counselors, Attorneys, and Parents.

Editorial Reviews

Praise for Helping Your Child Through Your Divorce''A masterpiece in the critical area of divorce and custody." —Frank S. Williams, M.D., Director of Family and Child Psychiatry at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center

"Illuminating case studies, sample agreements, charts, and clear, practical guidelines instruct and reassure ... " —Library journal

" ... with this resource book, parents may find the help they need to navigate through the shoals of divorce to the post-divorce shared-parenting relationship that truly is in the best interests of the child." —Stepfamily Bulletin

"This is a much-needed guidebook for concerned, loving parents who want to help their children before, during, and after a divorce. It is the ultimate expression of love for a parent to seek the education this book provides, then to follow its advice to the letter. Florence Bienenfeld has gathered, in one book, all the wisdom any parent needs to know during and after a divorce. As a therapist who has researched and worked with divorcing parents, I would heartily recommend this book to any parent in the midst of a divorce. Helping Thur Child Through Your Divorce should be required reading for any divorced or divorcing parent." —Doreen Virtue, Ph.D., Psychotherapist, Author, My Kids Don't Live with Me Anymore: Coping with the Custody Crisis

"In a 1987 mediation in Los Angeles, I requested Dr. Bienenfeld to co-mediate a seemingly irreconcilable custody issue. Both parents were entrenched in their positions and court proceedings seemed inevitable. Using her mediation skills, background and training in child development, and sensitive explanation of the children's pictures such as those in this book, Dr. Bienenfeld literally transformed the parents into collaborative, caring problem-solvers who negotiated a workable compromise that put the children's needs first and even improved their parental communication. As a professional colleague, Dr. Bienenfeld has earned my respect and admiration for her skills as a mediator and significant contributor to our professional literature." —Forest F. Masten, Family Law Attorney and Mediator, Los Angeles, CA

"Getting a divorce when you have young children feels like being thrown into the sea. Your first thought is survival and it's hard to think about what is best for anyone else. Looking back now, I thank God for Florence's presence during the mediation session. She was like a life raft. She helped us both get out of our feelings about each other and concentrate on what we could do for our kids." —A. M., Los Angeles, CA

"Within the last ten years, our family has experienced both mediation and the adversarial approach. Clearly, mediation is the alternative preferred by the children. As our family has certainly suffered from the adversarial situation, I wholeheartedly recommend the constructive interaction advocated by Dr. Bienenfeld, guiding all of us into a more loving relationship with our children." —Dr. Arlene K. Magnus, Management Consultant, Los Angeles, CA

From the Publisher