High Holiday Porn: A Memoir

Imagine a cross between Chelsea Handler and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer… but it's all true.
High Holiday Porn is the story of an Orthodox boy in the Bronx who discovers masturbation during Passover dinner as a child, gets caught with porn on Yom Kippur, fantasizes about marrying his grade school classmate (if only he could get up the nerve to speak to her), and finally figures out that the way into a girl's pants is through her heart. But maybe the heart is all that ever mattered anyway.