Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

by Sue Johnson


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780316113007
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
Publication date: 04/08/2008
Pages: 320
Sales rank: 5,996
Product dimensions: 6.50(w) x 9.62(h) x 1.25(d)

About the Author

Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist, the developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, and a recognized leader in the new science of relationships. The author of four books and numerous articles, she has trained thousands of therapists in North America and around the world. She lives in Ottawa, Canada. For more information on Dr. Sue Johnson and Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, visit www.eft.ca.

Table of Contents

Introduction     3
A New Light on Love     11
Love-A Revolutionary New View     13
Where Did Our Love Go? Losing Connection     28
Emotional Responsiveness-The Key to a Lifetime of Love     40
Seven Transforming Conversations     63
Recognizing the Demon Dialogues     65
Finding the Raw Spots     98
Revisiting a Rocky Moment     121
Hold Me Tight-Engaging and Connecting     141
Forgiving Injuries     165
Bonding Through Sex and Touch     185
Keeping Your Love Alive     204
The Power of Hold Me Tight     231
Healing Traumatic Wounds-The Power of Love     233
Ultimate Connection-Love as the Final Frontier     252
Acknowledgments     267
Glossary     271
References     281
Index     291

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Hold Me Tight 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 50 reviews.
Scout_Typper More than 1 year ago
This book teaches you what things to look for when your spouce is mad at you. They are not really mad at you they are affraid of loosing you. I know it's hard to hug a cactus, but sometimes that's what you have to do to show them you aren't going anywhere. Don't retract and give the space but stand up and talk to them and hold them tight.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I read the book and passed it on to my husband who was reluctant at first but did push through it. We plan to go back to it and work through the recommended exercises, but I don't know when. We're in our 60's and married more than 40 years. We're recovering from a recent infidelity. You would think after all these years we would be connected; however we've learned new techniques on how to avoid conflict and renew passion.
victoria_marie More than 1 year ago
The concepts in this book are very simple yet can completely change how you understand your and your partners' reactions to situations and to your relationship in general. I haven't finished the book yet but I can't hardly put it down... I am very excited to digest these concepts - I can already see them making a huge difference in how I respond to my partner and how happy we are.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
this book was referred to my husband and i. i was skeptical that a book would help me. but it did and has. this book opened both my husband and i's eyes to how we communicated. we have been telling everyone about this book. our marriage was great before we read this book but now....it's secure,safe, loveling, and full of joy. PLEASE READ THIS BOOK!!!!!!
writing_out_loud More than 1 year ago
Ms. Johnsons' interpetation of the intricacies of human relationships is simply designed, carefully thought out and written in a language that not only changes prior perceptions but invents a new and healthy twist to perceptions in relationships.
MindyFL More than 1 year ago
The author is considered by many in the counseling field to be the among the best couples therapists. This book gives the lay person (and professional alike) a solid foundation on her approach, where things go wrong and how to resolve conflicts. Well worth it!
Guest More than 1 year ago
EFT is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. Dr. Sue Johnson developed this therapeutic approach. The concept is very logical. We all have emotions. We all feel. That is okay. We must learn about our feelings and use them well. EFT helps people fight less and to be happier with their relationships. It was interesting that Johnson mentioned that being in a more transient society has made our reliance on our spouse even more important. I had never thought about that. I am without family nearby, so I do have only one person to count on¿my husband. We all ¿need a little shelter¿. I realize that it is an old Cinderella song, but it does ring true. Johnson explains that science has shown that we not only are social creatures, we are also creatures of couplehood. Sex is mentioned, also. Couples need sex. Sex styles are explained. Aligning of sex styles is mentioned, too. Most interesting, was the chapter on trauma. Johnson mentions the psychological trauma of soldiers returning home after a war. She explains the needs of the soldier and his/her spouse. Add some strength to your relationship read and study Hold Me Tight. Military spouses will definitely benefit from this, especially those with spouses suffering from PTSD.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great ideas with specific questions and instructions.
Dr-Payam_Ghassemlou More than 1 year ago
In clear language, Dr. Sue Johnson describes Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy and gives hope to couples who want to improve their relationship. Hold Me Tight is a must read for psychotherapists who provide couple counseling. I certainly benefited from reading it. (Payam Ghassemlou MFT, Ph.D.)
JiminDenver More than 1 year ago
Sue Johnson makes accessible and practical the science of attachment and offers an explanation for adult love. Hold Me Tight is written in a clear and compelling style. It is an excellent book for couples and smart therapists will be recommending it to their clients.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I bought this last weekend at my local B&N, after my wife fired our marriage counselor who did not seem to have any real focus or plan. The counselor recommended a different therapist who uses EFT, and I wanted to see what it was all about. I bought this book because Dr. Sue Johnson is one of the pioneers of EFT, and this book lays out the reasons for her approach, as well as the steps that an EFT counselor would take to restore marital harmony. I have to say that I thought the book was very interesting and helpful, as EFT is based upon the belief that everyone needs deep emotional attachments, and that the way to fix a rocky marriage is to get the couples' emotions back in synch with each other, rather than obsessively revisiting the past or laying out groundrules for coexisting in the present. I also like the fact that it is unashamedly pro-marriage but not in preachy way.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I think this book is very helpful for those who have spouses open enough to try it. I just wish they also gave ways to approach your spouse with these conversations. Just like some parents have to hide their vegetables to get their kids to eat it. I have to sneak in relationship talk to my husband or he just doesn't listen much less talk.
Kim_Blackham More than 1 year ago
Hold Me Tight is different than other self help books in that it is not just "good advice" or a gimmicky approach to understanding men and women. Rather, it is a book designed to help you understand yourself and your partner on a much deeper level. Using vignettes from other real couples, she describes the negative patterns of interaction we all can get stuck in.  I highly recommend for all couples.  
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the book is easy reading and enlightening.
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