How to be an Ex-Footballer
The first truly insider guide to being a Premiership footballer, from Britain's funniest sporting icon
Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' -Sunday Times
'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro
**ASunday TimesSports Book of the Year**
**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**
**Longlisted for theTelegraphSports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.
So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.
I am Peter Crouch. This isHow To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
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Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' -Sunday Times
'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro
**ASunday TimesSports Book of the Year**
**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**
**Longlisted for theTelegraphSports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.
So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.
I am Peter Crouch. This isHow To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
How to be an Ex-Footballer
The first truly insider guide to being a Premiership footballer, from Britain's funniest sporting icon
Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' -Sunday Times
'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro
**ASunday TimesSports Book of the Year**
**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**
**Longlisted for theTelegraphSports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.
So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.
I am Peter Crouch. This isHow To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' -Sunday Times
'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro
**ASunday TimesSports Book of the Year**
**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**
**Longlisted for theTelegraphSports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.
So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.
I am Peter Crouch. This isHow To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
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How to be an Ex-Footballer
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How to be an Ex-Footballer
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$19.99
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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781529106602 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Penguin Random House UK |
| Publication date: | 08/29/2023 |
| Pages: | 304 |
| Product dimensions: | 4.94(w) x 7.81(h) x 0.80(d) |
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