Love. Crash. Rebuild.: Alternatives to Distance, Destruction, and Divorce

by Mark B. Borg Jr., Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW

Overview

A roadmap for couples in crisis to repair and reset their relationship

Conflict and turmoil—the intimacy of everyday life—is the foundation great relationships are built on. Creating and maintaining a great marriage, relationship, or partnership is hard work, but nobody teaches you how to do it. Based on decades of helping couples address conflict and achieve long-lasting love, the authors created a simple five-step process for reconciling differences, taking couples in crisis from rupture to repair. Their tool—the PACER model (Pause, Accountability, Collaboration, Experiment, and Reset)—takes into account cultural differences, past hurts, and current crises. It is an opportunity for not just healing but for growth. Packed with dozens of client anecdotes, interactive exercises, and stories of the authors’ relationship as a mixed-race couple.

Love. Crash. Rebuild. is grounded in the language of diversity and offers readers in any type of romantic partnership—straight, gay, nonbinary, interracial, etc.—a single toolbox that can help bring a new understanding that makes real change possible and what a successful relationship should look like.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781949481976
Publisher:	Central Recovery Press, LLC
Publication date:	07/08/2025
Pages:	224
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.00(d)

About the Author

Mark B. Borg, Jr., PhD, is a community and clinical psychologist and a psychoanalyst practicing in New York City. He is a founding partner of The Community Consulting Group, a consulting firm that trains community stakeholders, local governments, and other organizations to use psychoanalytic techniques in community rebuilding and revitalization. He is a supervisor of psychotherapy at the William Alanson White Institute and has written extensively about the intersection of psychoanalysis and community crisis intervention. He is the author of Don't Be a Dick and coauthor of the Irrelationship series.

Haruna Miyamoto-Borg is a licensed psychotherapist with more than fifteen years of experience working in New York City in private practice. She specializes in working with couples of diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, social-class, and sexual orientations. Early in her career, she dedicated herself to working in the not-for-profit sector. She worked for the Center for Urban Community Services—the largest non-profit organization serving the homeless population in New York City. Currently, Miyamoto-Borg is in training at the prestigious Ackerman Institute for The Family in New York City. Her blog on Psychology Today is entitled "Couples and Culture."

Editorial Reviews

When the effectiveness of a couple’s therapy process is validated by research and personal experience, which the authors of the PACER method have demonstrated, it should be shouted from the rooftop to every couple caught in their power struggle and to every therapist committed to helping them. That’s what I am doing with my echo of the authors’ recommendation for a Pause, Accountability, Collaboration, Experiment, and then Reset, Repair, and Renew.”—Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, co-authors of NY Times best seller Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples and Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space Between

“Love. Crash. Rebuild is a phenomenal book that should be on every couples’ bookshelf! All couples fight, but the healthy ones use that breakdown to come back to intimacy and love better than ever. This book gives a simple step-by-step guide to doing just that! The authors have taken the best of psychoanalysis, family systems theories, narrative therapy, twelve-step couples recovery approaches, and behavior modification and created a couples healing process that really works. Definitely get this book—it could save your relationship or marriage!”—Dr. Diana Kirschner, bestselling author and CEO of Lovein90Days.com  

“The Borgs are a dynamic duo and their new book Love. Crash. Rebuild positions them to be among the likes of John and Julie Gottman and Harville and Helen Hendrix. This relatable, easily digestible read offers couples concrete and simple steps to strengthen and save their long-term relationship or marriage. I will be referencing their ideas in my sessions with couples for a long time to come.”—Hope Kelaher, LCSW, author of the award-winning Here to Make Friends: How to Make Friends as an Adult and The Resilience Workbook for Women  

“This book, written by a committed couple, therapists themselves, offers a compassionate instruction manual on how to weather and grow through the inevitable ups and downs of couple life. Their original PACER model introduces and demonstrates the use of invaluable skills no couple should go without. A crash course in relationship literacy!"—Suzanne Iasenza, PhD, author of Transforming Sexual Narratives: A Relational Approach to Sex Therapy 

From the Publisher