Loving Like You Mean It: Use the Power of Emotional Mindfulness to Transform Your Relationships

Loving Like You Mean It: Use the Power of Emotional Mindfulness to Transform Your Relationships

by Ronald J. Frederick


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No matter how hard we try, many of us struggle to make love work with our partners. The problem, as clinical psychologist Dr. Ron Frederick explains, is that our brains are running on outdated software. Without us knowing it, our early relationship programming causes us to fear being more emotionally present and authentic with our partners—precisely what’s needed to build loving connections. But we don’t have to remain prisoners to our past.

Grounded in cutting-edge neuroscience and attachment theory, Loving Like You Mean It shares a proven four-step approach to use emotional mindfulness to break free from old habits, befriend your emotional experience, and develop new ways of relating. The capacity for deep, loving connections is inside all of us, waiting to come out. By practicing the science behind loving like you mean it, your relationships can be fuller and richer than you ever imagined.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781942094944
Publisher: Central Recovery Press, LLC
Publication date: 04/30/2019
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 312
Sales rank: 255,563
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Ronald J. Frederick, PhD, co-founded the Center for Courageous Living in Beverly Hills, California, and is a senior faculty member of the Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy Institute. For over twenty years, he has provided emotion-centered, experiential therapy to individuals and couples and actively trains other psychotherapists. Frederick is the author of the bestselling book Living Like You Mean It and a recipient of the American Psychological Association’s Malyon-Smith Scholarship Award for his research on the fear of intimacy. He lectures and teaches workshops around the world.

Table of Contents

Introduction xi

Part I How We're Wired

Chapter 1 Making Sense of How You're Wired 3

Chapter 2 You've Got to Have Style 27

Part II Updating Our Wiring

Chapter 3 Step One: Recognize and Name 55

Chapter 4 Step Two: Stop, Drop, and Stay 87

Chapter 5 Step Three: Pause and Reflect 121

Chapter 6 Step Four: Mindfully Relate 155

Part III Rewiring in Action

Chapter 7 Feeling and Dealing 193

Closing Becoming Real 225

Appendix Seeking Professional Help 229

Acknowledgments 231

About The Author 233

References 235

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

Taking on nothing less than love, Dr. Ron Frederick swings and hits it out of the park with this must-read book. His clear, warm, and accessible style brings neuroscience, relationship theory, and years of clinical experience to help with our relationships. Reading this wise book you will not only understand why you do the things you do (even when you don’t want to), but also how to change so that you can love and be loved.Diana Fosha, PhD, Developer of Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy and author of The Transforming Power of Affect

With compassionate understanding of the ways in which our early experiences shape our emotional lives, Dr. Ron Frederick offers an inspiring, practical guide to free yourself from the past and grow the capacity for stronger, happier relationships.Elisha Goldstein, PhD, Co-founder of The Center for Mindful Living in Los Angeles

Loving Like You Mean It is a heartfelt, well written, and practical guide to applying mindfulness to the work of personal and relational transformation. Dr. Frederick brings you into his consulting room, sharing experiences from his work, and skillfully guides you down a path toward having more vital and rewarding relationships. Highly Recommended!Louis Cozolino, PhD, Psychology Professor at Pepperdine University and author of The Neuroscience of Human Relationships

This book is pure gold. It presents complex insights in a warm, clear manner and acts as a roadmap to healthy and joyful relationships both with ourselves and those we love. I wish I had this book to refer to in all my adult relationships, and now that it's here, I'll gratefully recommend it to my clients.Raphael Cushnir, author of The One Thing Holding You Back and Setting Your Heart on Fire

As gifted a writer as he is a psychotherapist, Dr. Ron Frederick expertly engages the reader in the most effective practices to recover true aliveness and wholeness in relationships. For people looking for clear guidance to navigate the challenges of emotional intimacy, this book is a gem.Linda Graham, MFT, author of Bouncing Back and Resilience

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