Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life's Biggest Decisions

by Myra Strober, Abby Davisson

Overview

A practical roadmap for navigating life’s most consequential and daunting decisions, and an intelligent approach to creating stronger relationships, better communication, and a more secure financial future.

How can my significant other and I get on the same page about spending and saving? Should I consider inflation when asking for a raise? When is the “right time” to have a child? Am I ready for retirement? I feel unprepared for the future—where do I even start? Labor economist and Stanford Professor Emerita Myra Strober and social innovation leader Abby Davisson know that in our daily lives money and love are interdependent. But when faced with daunting questions, rarely do we have the keys to combine both head and heart in a balanced and fulfilling way.

Whereas most decision-making guides focus only on one or the other, Money and Love shows us and our loved ones how to consider them jointly using a step-by-step 5Cs method:

• CLARIFY: Consider what you want vs. don’t through self-reflection.
• COMMUNICATE: Include input from those who will be impacted by your decisions in your decision-making process.
• CHOICES: Broaden your perspectives to open up your options. 
• CHECK IN: Ask for advice, guidance, and resources.
• CONSEQUENCES: Consider the effects of your decisions and how that may impact all aspects of your life.

At a time when we are experiencing the most significant shift in work-life balance in decades – marked by changing remote versus in-person work dynamics, financial strain, and the reconfiguring of families and social/professional networks – Strober and Davisson’s framework offers simple and effective steps to empower readers to make the best strategic decisions, with guidance to come back to again and again, at every stage of life.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780063117518
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	01/10/2023
Pages:	320
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Myra Strober is a labor economist and Professor Emerita at Stanford University. She was the founding director of the Stanford Center for Research on Women (now the Clayman Institute for Gender Research) and the first chair of the National Council for Research on Women.

Abby Davisson is a social innovation leader and career development expert. Most recently, she spent nine years at global retailer Gap Inc., where she served as President of Gap Foundation and co-founded the company's employee resource group for parents and caregivers. 

Table of Contents

Introduction ix

1 Introducing the 5Cs Framework 1

2 Finding Your Person: Dating and Mating 18

3 Pop the Question (or Skip It Altogether?): Getting Married 46

4 Baby Talk: Having Children 66

5 Let's Make a Deal: Dividing Housework and Home Management 89

6 There's No Place Like Home: Deciding Where to Live and When to Move 115

7 Making It Work: Combining Career and Family 140

8 Choppy Waters: Facing Relationship Challenges (and Ending a Marriage Gracefully) 171

9 The Senior Years: Caring for Elders 195

10 Be the Change: Changing the Work/Family System (How You Can Play a Part) 222

Conclusion 251

Acknowledgments 257

Further Reading 261

Notes 263

Index 285

Editorial Reviews

10/10/2022

Strober, a retired Stanford Graduate School of Education professor, and her former student Davisson present a no-fuss framework for considering the “fraught decisions around money and love.” The authors write that personal relationships and careers need not be in opposition, and suggest instead that the two are “intimately” linked. Their plan for decision-making consists of “5Cs”: clarify; communicate; consider a range of choices; check in with friends, family, and other resources; and explore likely consequences. This process, the authors write, can help readers find a partner (“Try to anticipate the consequences of your relationship decision by pressure-testing it”), decide whether or not to have children (“Why do you want a child? Why don’t you?”), divide household chores (“Checking in with friends and colleagues about housework and family responsibilities is useful. How do they make decisions about who does which tasks?”), and reenter the workforce after having a child (“Whom can you contact about your desire to return to work?”). The authors’ emphasis on planning ahead and their helpful exercises go a long way toward highlighting their simple but powerful point that love and one’s finances are interdependent, and key life conversations should account for both. Readers struggling with big decisions will find this a handy resource. (Jan.)

Publishers Weekly

The authors’ emphasis on planning ahead and their helpful exercises go a long way toward highlighting their simple but powerful point that love and one’s finances are interdependent, and key life conversations should account for both. Readers struggling with big decisions will find this a handy resource.” — Publishers Weekly

“A useful, logical guide for couples on the verge of big life decisions… a readable approach with nuggets of wisdom throughout.” 
— BookPage

“Our personal and professional lives have never been more intertwined than they are today and Strober and Davisson clearly prove that fully embracing both in an integrated way is the best way to lead a fulfilling life.”
— John Donahoe, CEO of Nike

"A thoughtful, practical guide that will help readers make wiser and more fulfilling decisions." — Tara Mohr, author of Playing Big & Eric Ries, author of The Lean Startup, married partners and parents

“Money and Love offers an approachable guide to help you find a fair partner, set up your relationship for success, and most importantly provide the tools needed to make it last. Strober & Davisson use a well-balanced mix of storytelling, real-world experiences, and science to approach a very heavy and often overwhelming subject.”
— Eve Rodsky, New York Times best-selling author of Fair Play and National Bestseller, Find Your Unicorn Space

"This book should be required reading for anyone seeking to optimize decisions about money and love. Strober and Davisson’s approach is life-changing.” — Nir Eyal, bestselling author of Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life

“ A truly extraordinary and actionable resource for having thoughtful, informed, and brave conversations about what matters most.” — Melissa Giraud and Andrew Grant-Thomas, parents and cofounders of EmbraceRace

“Having been CEO of three brands while raising four children, I believe it’s possible to have both money and love – but only if you’re intentional. In a real and relatable way, Strober and Davisson guide us through the big decisions we make, empowering us to build a full joyful and purposeful life.”
— Nancy Green, former CEO of Old Navy, Athleta, and Shabby Chic

“According to The Beatles ‘money can’t buy me love’ but Strober and Davisson show how to think about your choices so that careers and relationships can jointly flourish. Great reading on life’s most difficult and important decisions.”
— Andrew Scott, professor of economics at London Business School and author of The 100-Year Life

"There is a huge difference between spending and investing. That's true with money. It's true with time. And it's true with love. And it's beautifully illustrated by Strober and Davisson in their book, Money and Love. With all the tradeoffs we face in life, let this book be your operating handbook for making your most important decisions." — Greg McKeown, podcaster and author of two New York Times bestsellers, Effortless and Essentialism

"Strober and Davisson have written a book that delivers on provocative ideas and information – and, far more importantly, a truly useful framework – for tackling life's most important decisions." — Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, author of Don’t Trust Your Gut and Everybody Lies   

"Reframing big problems into manageable ones and adopting a doable decision making process are power tools for navigating the complexities of modern adult life. And nothing is more complex than money and love." — Dave Evans, co-author, Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life

"A brilliant framework for guiding tough conversations."
— - Annie Duke, bestselling author of Thinking in Bets and Quit.

From the Publisher