My Journey Home

My Journey Home

by Mette Christensen

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781452576473
Publisher: Balboa Press
Publication date: 01/17/2014
Pages: 106
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.25(d)

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My Journey Home


By Mette Christensen

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2014 Mette Christensen
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-7647-3



CHAPTER 1

My Soul Speaks


Oh, the joy I feel in this moment that I finally have given permission for my Soul to come out of hiding. Putting pen to words on paper and speaking of what I know give me an incredible feeling. I incarnated in this physical body and covered myself with "garments" of fear, doubt, resentments, low self-esteem, envy, greed, and arrogance so that I could experience what it would be like to live separate from my own Divinity and God. The purpose of the experience is my own realization of my true authentic nature. That I willingly chose to forget who I AM in truth boggles my human mind. To think that life is filled with pain and suffering is something as a human I have difficulty grasping, but as a Soul I joyfully chose this path for my own evolution.

CHAPTER 2

The Human And Divine Crossroad


I am making a new choice of coming into full remembrance and stepping into the truth of my Soul, leaving behind the old way of being: the pain, suffering, doubts, low self-esteem, the old beliefs of sacrifice, shame, guilt, fear, and all the old lower vibratory frequencies. All is Divine as God is all that is. These negative beliefs are what I call the shadow side of the God force. Stepping into my full light is not as easy as one would think. The old way of being is so ingrained in our very cells and all of it has to come up into our full consciousness, out of hiding so to speak, to be purified and to integrate all those lost aspects of ourselves that want to be brought back home and loved into wholeness. All those thoughts and beliefs that have been programed into our very being from our parents and society have to be changed. The old behavior is addictive. It is almost as if it is calling us back, like a comfortable pair of old shoes. We know how it fits and how it feels. It is what our body is used to. Your soul knows differently though. That is where our conscience comes in and our internal battle starts. Sometimes our conscience wins but more often it does not, and then we feel guilty and cover our soul with the garment of guilt.

Stepping into sunshine after spending decades in the dark can be very painful for your eyes, so you put on sunglasses to let your eyes adjust with more ease. The same goes for stepping into the light of your Soul because the light is so bright. In the light all is revealed. When you realize that everything you have believed about yourself and others is a complete falsity it can bring you to your knees in absolute devastation of what you have done to yourself, others, and God. The sorrow is so deep it can tear you apart. Or you can give yourself permission and be willing to fully forgive and accept full forgiveness and be lifted up into freedom. You can let the love of God, which you are a part of and in which your Soul resides, wrap you in the softest blanket to comfort you and absolve you of all your sorrow and guilt to set you free. At that point you can choose to live in the full light of your own Divinity, which resides in the heart of God full time.

This is where I find myself now, at the cross road sitting here feeling the grace of God that I AM, feeling the joy of God bubbling up in me, feeling the gentle love of God I AM sweeping through my being. As I ask, "What if I am the forgiveness of God?" I feel the melting of all thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about others and myself. If I am the forgiveness of God, then all has to be forgiven; otherwise I AM not. In that moment all judgments disappear. I actually feel dizzy and lightheaded with all the judgments gone. I did not realize how much space it took up within my body. How long can I stay in this I ask myself and the Ego steps right in and says "not long, as it is not normal for the human body." My Soul says "not so; the human body has just been conditioned and programed to judge one's self and others, thinking we are all separate." That is the illusion; we actually are one in the heart of God.

CHAPTER 3

The Flashlight


When I first started out on this inner journey of unclothing my Soul it was very difficult for my body to reside in love or joy for a long period of time. My body was not used to it and each time after feeling love or joy, a negative feeling would rear its head, and I would again think that that was the truth about me, and the joy would disappear. What it actually was saying was "What about me? Remember I want to be loved also. Please accept me and love me." Love and joy is like turning on the floodlights in a dark room and all the dirt, dust, and trash is revealed at one time. That was too overpowering for me and intimidating so I had to do it in increments and only use a flashlight and light up one corner at a time.

CHAPTER 4

The Voice Of God


My whole life I have felt like an outsider, as if I am standing outside looking in at all the festivities, wanting so deeply to join them—but not having been invited, I can't. I always felt separate, never belonging or feeling wanted. I did not realize that it was my own Soul to which I was longing to be connected, my own "Home" I was longing for. All those negative emotions about myself were what kept me separate from my true authentic self, my Soul, and from coming home to my Divine parents. The thing is that the vibrational frequency that I resided in (with all those false thoughts and beliefs about myself) does not match the vibration and frequency of God, of pure Divine unconditional love. Not knowing how to surrender I stayed there. It wasn't until 1997, when I had a direct experience with God, that everything changed.

One night as I was floating between sleep and wakefulness there was a huge flash of light and this booming deep masculine voice spoke to me about having been chosen to be part of changing history and that there was not much time left. I then woke up fully and found my hands going up and down in a horizontal position, showing me I had from this time (my left hand) until this time (the distance to my right hand). I sat there in utter amazement, not knowing what to believe. When I tried to go back to sleep I kept getting a prompting to go to my recorder. At first I refused because it was 1 AM in the morning and I was tired, bewildered, and I was out of cigarettes. Every time I closed my eyes to go to sleep I kept getting the same prompting. I finally gave up, put some clothes on, ran up to the gas station to buy cigarettes, and came back. Can't you just see me? As I turned my recorder on I started talking. I had no idea what I was saying, feeling somewhat removed the whole time. Afterwards when I replayed the recording I was stunned at what had come through me.

This was the message:


If people were told that God lives at the bottom of the ocean all of humanity would dive down to the bottom of the ocean. If people were told that God lives at the top of the mountain everybody would climb to the top of the mountain. But I live right inside of YOU, underneath all the mud of fear, anger, envy, shame, guilt, resentment, doubt, lack, jealousy, less-than, greed, and lust. Remove all the mud and you will find me.

Holy cow, I was thinking, I have a whole lot of work to do on myself. Where do I start and how? All of a sudden I felt so lost, overwhelmed, and intimidated because all those negative emotions reared their heads and each was saying "Oh yeah, you want to get rid of me? I think not."

Then the message continued:


Before you incarnated in this physical body you made a roadmap for yourself so you could find your way Home. Your Soul, which is an individuated aspect of me and that was created in my likeness and image, came together with other Souls and made agreements to incarnate together and reflect to each other the way Home. The agreement was to reflect to each other the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself that are opposite of your Soul's truth. You chose this planet of duality for your own Soul's evolution. Follow the road map and you will come Home to me.

CHAPTER 5

The Mirror


I received the understanding that I was to take each person in my life and look at my thoughts and emotions about them, which would then reflect the thoughts and emotions I was holding about myself. Here is where the flashlight came in. The whole concept was so daunting that I could only do one person at a time. I chose my husband from whom I had separated and whom I was struggling to forgive.

We had been married for 22 years. He had been emotionally abusing me the whole time, crucifying every thought and belief I uttered, until I felt buried 10 feet beneath the ground. The tone of his voice and the ridicule of my beliefs were excruciating. What a Soul agreement I had made with him! However, he was only reflecting back to me how I was emotionally abusing and ridiculing myself to the point where I felt no life (meaning love) within me. I numbed myself to all feelings of love, which explains the feeling of separation from the in-dwelling God within me. Since God is life and love it was not strange that I felt no life within me and always said that I felt buried 10 feet beneath the ground. The only "enemy" we have is our own self. Everyone else is an angel in disguise, gifting us with showing us our way home by mirroring to us what is going on within us. We think that God is punishing us and that life is tough and not fair. In reality, we are the ones who are so tough and punishing ourselves and making things unfair. If we could really grasp and realize this we could "turn the tide" so to speak and reverse what we perceive as drowning in a sea of abuse

If we are to be truly honest we have to look first to our own self when we get offended, angry, and resentful and locate where in our relationship with our self, and others, we have been doing the same thing. If we do not get an answer keep looking. We have to be willing to own our own stuff and take full responsibility because the answer always lies within our own self. Otherwise we would not be affected by the other person's actions. I know it can be difficult; believe me I have been there and am still on this journey. Our own stuff is too close for us to see at times so we need it mirrored back to us. If we truly want things to change we have to start with our own self, and that is why I say that this journey is the most courageous thing one can do in life.

CHAPTER 6

The I Am Presence


Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life." The I AM presence of our being is love, peace, joy, bliss, wisdom, abundance, ease and grace, forgiveness and compassion. When we live in and from this space it is our I AM Presence that is expressing through us and not the Ego, the little self. We give our power over to our Ego; therefore, we cannot reclaim that power without a fight from the Ego. This is the internal battle that we experience.

What I found was that it got easier and easier to make friends with my Ego and shower it with love as I went along. Remember, the Ego is just lost aspects of ourselves that want to come Home and be loved. Our I AM Presence is our very own best friend. The Christ I AM of our being is the mediator between our Soul and God. That is what Jesus meant when he said, "Who so ever believeth in me [the in-dwelling Christ] shall have everlasting life." So believe in yourself, the Christ of your being who is eternal. When our Soul fully merges with The Holy Christ Self is when we will be walking this Earth plane as fully Christed Beings. This is what is meant by "the second coming of Christ." It was the "I AM Presence" within him that spoke through him, who had taken full dominion over his physical, emotional, mental, and etheric body. He claimed his own "I AM Presence" and became known as "CHRIST." Jesus showed us the way as well as Elijah, Buddha, Krishna and many others in the different religions. When we talk of surrendering it is surrendering to the Christ I AM within us that we surrender it all to. Therefore, we surrender to a higher aspect of our self who knows all and sees all, our own Holy Christ Self, the Holy Christ of mankind.

CHAPTER 7

The Release Of Anger


I had already been working on myself for 8 years before my revelation by reading all kinds of self-help books, but I had no understanding and comprehension of this truth that I had now been shown. I also had been going to seminars on self-healing but nowhere did anybody talk about the "mirroring effect."

What I realized later was that everything has its own timing (Divine timing). I had to do all the softening up within me to be ready to allow this "truth" to come into my awareness. At the top of the iceberg is anger and at the bottom is fear. In between are resentments, guilt, regrets, and sorrow. The anger within me had to be released and that happened at a seminar on self-healing, a year before this message from God came through me.

My husband and I were already separated when he called me a couple of days before the seminar and wanted to come back and try again. I told him about the seminar I was to attend and he asked if he could go also. I said that if you want to go for yourself and your own healing, by all means go to it but do not go for my sake. He told me to He told me to order him a ticket and out of old habit I said yes. As soon as I hung up, I realized what I had done and picked up the phone and called him back. I said that if you want to go you have to call and buy the ticket yourself. I felt very defiant and proud at the same time. Little did I know what was to transpire at the seminar. The day came and I was filled with excitement but also trepidation, nerves screaming all over.

There were over 200 people present. I did not sit with my husband as we went there as individuals and not as a couple; nobody there suspected that we even knew each other. We did two different release exercises about anger. It was during the last one that I had my "explosion" and release. What an experience that was.

As I was sitting in my chair and the facilitator asked if anyone wanted to stand up and let their anger out there was a vibration that started in my feet and rose up through my whole body that was visible to everyone. I was shaking so violently from head to toe that the facilitator called my name. I jumped up on top of my chair and turned toward my husband, all eye contact with him as I spewed forth all kinds of obscenities. It was as if poison was literally coming out through my mouth until all of a sudden it was drained out of me and not another word came out. I was so stunned at what had transpired I sat down in a daze. It was so powerful. I learned afterwards that it had brought men to tears that had not been able to cry for over 20 years. What a gift for them and me.

We all took a break to regroup and process what had transpired. When we came back in we sat down in small groups on the floor. I raised my hand and asked to speak. I turned toward my husband, who was sitting with another group, and thanked him profusely for sitting through my explosion and not walking out. I commended him for his courage to have all this transpire in public. He told me later that he almost did walk out, but he realized that nobody there knew that it was all directed at him or that we even knew each other.

We did get back together again several times to try and mend our marriage, but for my part there was just a feeling of friendship left so we finally parted for good.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from My Journey Home by Mette Christensen. Copyright © 2014 Mette Christensen. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Contents

Chapter 1 My Soul Speaks, 1,
Chapter 2 The Human And Divine Crossroad, 2,
Chapter 3 The Flashlight, 4,
Chapter 4 The Voice Of God, 5,
Chapter 5 The Mirror, 8,
Chapter 6 The I Am Presence, 10,
Chapter 7 The Release Of Anger, 12,
Chapter 8 Forgiveness, 15,
Chapter 9 You Are Perfect Just As You Are, 17,
Chapter 10 The Name Of God, 18,
Chapter 11 Your Word Becomes Manifest, 19,
Chapter 12 Covering Your Soul, 21,
Chapter 13 Uncovering Your Soul, 22,
Chapter 14 Abandonment, 26,
Chapter 15 Passing Our Sins On To Our Children, 29,
Chapter 16 Experiencing The Love Of God, 31,
Chapter 17 Multiple Lives, 33,
Chapter 18 Sharing My Stories, 36,
Chapter 19 My Homecoming, 38,
Chapter 20 The Onion, 39,
Chapter 21 Completion With 3rd Dimensional Consciouness, 40,
Chapter 22 The 100Th Monkey Syndrome, 42,
Chapter 23 Creating Our Foundation, 43,
Chapter 24 The Plan, 45,
Chapter 25 Remembering, 47,
Chapter 26 Reflections, 48,
Chapter 27 Being In The Eye Of The Hurricane, 50,
Chapter 28 The Union Of My Heart And Mind, 52,
Chapter 29 Who Is Guiding You?, 54,
Chapter 30 The Old And New Believes, 55,
Chapter 31 Being Part Of Changing History, 57,
Chapter 32 My Soul's Mission And Purpose, 59,
Chapter 33 My Family And Friends' Reaction, 61,
Chapter 34 A Society Ruled By The Heart, 62,
Chapter 35 Divinity And Authenticity, 65,
Chapter 36 Sexuality And Money, 68,
Chapter 37 The Strengthening, 73,
Chapter 38 Mother Mary, 75,
Chapter 39 Healing Power, 79,
Chapter 40 Accepting My Gift, 80,
Chapter 41 My Return To My Earthly Roots, Norway, 84,
Chapter 42 My Birth, 86,
Chapter 43 Coming Full Circle, 88,

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