The Nearly Departed: Or, My Family and Other Foreigners

The Nearly Departed: Or, My Family and Other Foreigners

by Brenda Cullerton

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Overview

Cullerton's parents were always eccentric. Her mother gardened in curlers, pop beads, and black satin underpants, while her father hid wads of cash in shoes in the garage. This is a haunting, heartbreaking, and incredibly funny book that is a love letter to parents, family, and home--however strange they may be.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780316084598
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
Publication date: 09/26/2009
Sold by: Hachette Digital, Inc.
Format: NOOK Book
File size: 557 KB

Table of Contents

Prologue3
Seven months earlier
"I have been in tens and tens of houses since aff-rica."7
"Chop! chop! wicky! wicky!"15
"Wahoo! wah! the indian will never die!"21
"Terror is your family crest."29
"I'm a cripple. i'm entitled."37
"I am a stubborn prick."47
"You're nothing but a depraved sadist!"55
"Only the nouveaux swim in pools."71
"Only lazy slobs sit on lawn mowers!"83
"Don't look! avert thine eyes."99
"Handicapped? what jackass invented that one?"115
"So this is how it feels to be famous?"125
"Why does your father want to kill kenny?"139
"I believe miss sewell is down here in my bushes."147
"Bend, you fool!"165
"Please, don't tell me. i don't want to know."173
The departures
Dad--june 1998191
Mom--august 1998203
The house--january 1999211
A family update: september 2002219

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